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Rogue 06-07-2000 01:11 PM

is there any messeges out there that have alot of Replys that stay on the subject all the time!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Chillin 06-07-2000 06:39 PM

I doubt it.

"Life is fair." It has now been written.

Imladil 06-07-2000 06:53 PM


Not this time, however. This thread has just changed into an add-on type story. The rules (if there truly are any) are simple: work with what's been written before, and no trying to end the story till it's truly over. I'll start.

Once upon a time, Luke Skywalker was walking to the bank, when a large, dark shadow fell over the sun. He turned in horror to see...

The Master 06-07-2000 07:24 PM

But I would say this topic might last up to one or two weeks, maybe. So, thanks for posting another topic. The message board needs it!

Shootist 06-07-2000 11:43 PM

Sure ROGUE...we just all have A.D.D and... see Darth Shootist screening the previews of the Dukes of Hazard for his buddies, however, the Space Nazis break in and arrest the clutch of n'er do wells just because they think Daisy Duke is gonna show Boss Hogg more than road dust from her rearview. Space Nazis are a clan of perverted
Jedi who've gone over the the almost-but-not-quite-dark side.

VERY FUNNY SCOTTY, now please beam down my PANTS!!!

Chillin 06-08-2000 12:08 AM

...Seeing this Luke reached out with the force to Darth Shootist, using telepathy Luke told Shootist to use the force do a Vulcan Death Grip to all of the Space Nazis. After completeing this task Shootist and his buddies saw Kasan Moor, they whipped out their lightsabers and...

"Tis easier to ask forgiveness than permission."

Imladil 06-08-2000 08:29 AM

A.D.D.? Can I have Tourette's syndrome, please? I've always wanted an excuse for acting this way.

...killed themselves rather than face the horror of seeing her feeding frenzy firsthand. Kasan popped their still-twitching corpses into her slobbering maw like yesterday's bon-bons, then thundered down the street in search of an all-night doughnut shop.

Meanwhile, Luke and Shootist were magically resurrected by Yoda, who handed them boxes of exploding twinkies.

"Okay," said Yoda, "Here's the plan..."

Chillin 06-08-2000 01:28 PM

I knew Kasan was sick but I never thought she'd resort to cannibalism.

"Here's the plan, SHOOTIST you take the twinkies and lay a trail of them from the doughnut shop Kasan went into to that warehouse. Then make sure Kasan follows the trail, but stay out of sight." "While you're doing that Luke and myself will fill the warehouse with explosives, as soon as Kasan is in there we will detonate the twinkies by remote."
"There's Kasan and she sounds hungry, Luke, you and Yoda get going I'll start with the twinkies."

As SHOOTIST was laying the twinky trail a shadow fell over him, he turned to see...

"Tis easier to ask forgiveness than permission."

The Master 06-08-2000 01:34 PM

And there stood Kasan. But where was The Master and IMLADIL?
They was currently missing from the scene, or were they just hiding in wait.
SHOOTIST had to act fast.

Imladil 06-09-2000 08:27 AM

*Zzzzzz--!* Huh? What?

Imladil appears in the middle of the doughnut-strewn street with a flash of magic pixie dust, wearing a bright green leisure suit from Coruscant and still drunk from the celestial wowzer (a drink) in his left hand. It is the contents of his right hand, however, which give Kasan pause: a giant bottle of Malastarian diet pills.

"You see this, you heaving b***h? Enough uppers to give you the metabolism of a kangaroo rat! You would lose your evil mass power, not to mention look real silly."

Kasan roars in fury, recoils from the bottle like a vampire facing a silver crucifix dipped in garlic and holy water. Meanwhile, the unnoticed Shootist has had time to finish his task. He...

The Master 06-09-2000 02:00 PM

Shootist got to the ware house and finished laying the twinky trail to the explosives.

Then Imladil disapears with an evil laugh and kasan looks around in confusion. Then desides to continue following the twinky trail. She makes her way into the ware house shoving the twinkys violently into her mouth.

Shootist watches her enter the ware house and gave a silent laugh. But the Master was STILL missing. His part of the plan would come in soon. Kasan finally reached the explosives and ate one mistaking it as a twinky.

Suddenly it seemed as if she exploded. There was smoke every where! Then the smoke slowly settled....

Chillin 06-09-2000 07:08 PM

And the MASTER appeared, a light saber in each hand. "Your rein of terror is over Kasan, consider yourself dead!"
"You don't frighten me scum! I eat whole Hutts for breakfast!"
"Not even a Hutt desirves that! You disgust me!"
"Enough talk! I'm hungry and the last Jedi I ate were delicious!"
Kasan tried bodyslams and throws, but MASTER was too guick. However, MASTER didn't have much luck either, his lightsabers could not cut through her blubber!

Meanwhile, Luke, Yoda, and Shootist sat outside. "We can use the Jedi Battle Meditation you taught me Master Yoda, suggested Luke."
"Yes Luke work that will. Now have to act fast we will...

"Tis easier to ask forgiveness than permission."

[This message has been edited by Chillin (edited June 09, 2000).]

Shootist 06-10-2000 01:09 AM

Hey folks,what did Kasan say when she say that light sword battle in the Phantom Menace Ep I?..... "FoOoOoOD FiIiIiGhT!!!"

...just as Master saw that Kason's blubber was just too much for his cutlery, the exploding twinkie went off. BOOOOP.

The smoke hung still and putridly stagnate air. Had she survived? A tiny breath of wind started to part the stench filled bog...BUUUUURRRRRRRPPPPP! She had survived.

Shootist and the Chil Meister began to chant,"Nam myo ho Reng Ge Ko," and light the incense. The little sticks of fragrance blew slowly in Kasan's direction. A finger of the aroma trail tickled her nose, she twiched once, then shuddered violently...convulsions followed...rapid breathing...Could it be? Was Kasan reacting to something as peaceful as burning incense? "War of the Worlds" deja vu?...........
The hopeful duo cried out to IMLADIL and MASTER..OH BROTHERS COME AND SEE! COME AND SEE! Surely you will not want to miss this! MASTER and IMLADIL revealed themselves from the fogbank...."YO our fellow Knight type dudes," they bellowed, "We scored some more incense and.......

[This message has been edited by Shootist (edited June 09, 2000).]

Imladil 06-10-2000 06:50 AM

"...sent Kasan directly to the sixth loka, that of the preta or 'unhappy ghosts.' She won't bother us again."

Yoda appears, floating in midair. "Oh, no...did you send her to another sphere of existance, my sons?"

Shootist and Chillin both say, "Yes. So?"

Yoda shakes his head sadly. "The sheer mass of that heinous b***h will force open the gates of hell and visit unspeakable horrors upon us. Quickly, we must draw pentagrams and send her all the way out of this universe altogether...!"

Imladil looks astonished. "So there's more than just this universe?"

Yoda ignores him. "You digress. Go to the store and get me some glow-in-the-dark chalk. Chillin, you block off the sidewalk with ropes. Shootist, you mix the drinks...and Luke, you guard something. That tree over there, maybe."

The Master runs eagerly to the Jedi master. "What should I do?"

"Go see if this works." Yoda gestures, and The Master vanishes in a puff of smoke, on his way to unknown dimensions...

The Master 06-10-2000 01:48 PM

Shootist went and quickly mixed the drinks. Perfectly without spilling.

Chillin went and quickly fixed the ropes over the side walks sealing off the area so no one could enter.

Imladil watched them do both of these tasks done with Yoda, Luke, The Chil Meister.

Imladil then suddenly asked Yoda, "Where did the Master go?"

Yoda then answered "He has gone to the dimension that Kason has gone. There he shall see if succeded. If not, we will have to come up with a greater plan."

"Like what?" asked Imladil.

"We shall have to see...."

Rogue 06-10-2000 07:02 PM

Mean while in a different dimension the Master finds Kasan traing a whole army of Kasan clones.He sees them learning tatics like Blubber hug!! He quikly disapears in a poof of smoke back to his dimension, But something goes wrong and he is sent is to some place with a bunch of squishy and slimy Puke Balls. Mean while Yoda is Drawing flowers with golw-in-the-dark chalk and daydreaming. luke is keeping a watchful eye on those trees,making sure they don't do any sudden moves and chillin trying to untangle himself from the ropes.


12 hours later
everybody is doing the same things Yoda drawing Chillin trying to untangle himself and Luke whatching the trees... They have the slightest bit of worry, even though the Master hasn't been back for 20 hours. 9you goota feel sorry for Chillin stuck in thos ropes for 20 hours!!!)

The Master 06-10-2000 08:13 PM

The Master seemed to be lost in the world of "puke balls" He ran for what seemed for ever. There seemed to be no way out, but then he saw a strange light. So he obviosly ran for it. When he got to it he found that it was some sort of energy gate. He than stepped into it and was rushed through time and space back to the rest of his party.

Yoda looked up to see The Master shot out of a blue portal. The Master got up and walked over to Yoda. "How long have I been gone?"

"Almost a full day. We are all prepared. What hath thou seen." Was Yoda's answer.

"Well you better be ready. Kason got something ready for us and it is no Birth Day presant. You had best be right." replied the Master.

Imladil 06-11-2000 09:22 AM

Unable to find glow-in-the-dark chalk, Imladil instead brings Yoda a lump of plutonium.

"Excellent," says Yoda, drawing the pentagram on the sidewalk. "Now we just need a dodo bird to sacrifice in the middle, and we can get this over with."

Chillin and Shootist exchange puzzled glances. Luke untangles himself from the ropes and promptly falls into the storm drain. "There are no dodos on this world," says The Master. " them all."

Yoda turns his ears down in annoyance. "No more dodos, eh? How about a passenger pigeon, or maybe a giant moa? Either would suffice."

"Nope," says Imladil, "All extinct. I could get you a chicken, if that would work."

"Your planet is screwed," says Yoda. "There is no way to stop Kasan Moor from..."

[This message has been edited by Imladil (edited June 11, 2000).]

The Master 06-11-2000 11:59 PM

Yoda paused for a moment and then decided to end the uncomplete sentence. "Now there is no way to save this universe. Now look what you foolish people did with your unthoughtful actions. Do you see what one thing can do, it can change the entire universe.

"Ummm... Is there any other way we could exterminate her." Imaldil said quickly.

"If the Master is correct about Kason has something ready for us, there is no hope." Yoda then walked a few feet away from Imladil and sat down throwing a fit.

Then The Master spoke up "Well it looks like it is up to us. Imladil, get your X-Wing, Luke you can come if you want, Chillin you get your A- Wing, Shootist- Shootist what do you drive."

"What ever I want."

"Oh. And I'll get my V- Wing and lets be off."

So they all went off to there ships were off. As soon as they were off the planet they saw something in space floating towards the brave pilotes....

Rogue 06-12-2000 01:11 AM

They see......A HUGE SHIP SHAPED LIKE KASAN!!!!!!!
Everybody goes into hyperdrive. They land on a moon covered with Imperials. They ask the Imperials to help them destroy the Kasan mobile space craft and the Imperials except. The Imperials were secretly making a third DeathStar. The Imperial plan is for the Gang to lead Kasan into the 3rd Deathstars double gaint laser so that the laser can shoot the craft.


While they are on there way they meet an E-Wing(it is a real craft from one of the books) they ionize it to find a willing man that is called Rouge. Rouge wants to help them attack Kasan's ship!! They all charge there Lasers and load there Missiles.


They lead Kasan's ship into range of the DeathStar3's laser beam. And the Imperials shoot the laser. Unfurtunaly they "bluber" of Kasan's ship reflects it and the DeathStar BLOWS up!! The four attackers attempt to find a weak ness in Kasan's ship. Fortunaly they find a weak ness it is a tiny switch that deactivatse the "bluber" everybody's lasers are spread to far apart except Rogues,because he has 1 laser in the middle of they craft. he hits the ship and they quikly scramble away. The "bluber" collapses and squishes all the insides of the ships the party celebrates by blowing up the rest of the Imperials and flying through Kessel's mines!

THE END (or is it???)

Imladil 06-12-2000 07:35 AM


Shootist and Imladil are standing watch by the new Rogue Squadron hidden base, having a beer and roasting a wild dodo over the fire.

There are rumored to be Imperial death ninjas still lurking deep in the mines, waiting for a chance to come forth and slash the tires on our starfighters (making it impossible for us to take off.)

The Rogue compound, which used to be the bonus bunker set in the cliff back by the furthest prison, is overlooked by the burned-out shell of a missile turret--proof that Chillin did indeed figure out how to use the A-wing's sensor-jamming package.

Shootist peers suddenly into the distance. "You see that?"

Imladil gets out the binoculars he beat up Luke for, focuses on a ditant orange mountain. "Holy crap! It's a..."

Rogue 06-12-2000 12:53 PM

This place ain't Kessel this is a Gaint Kasan rolled up into a ball that looks like Kessel Rogue appears in front of them.
Shootist asks"Where did you come from?"
"I was just bunjy jump So"
Well we are on Kasan right now. We saw a mountain that had Kasan's face on it!!

We need a plan and cann't go on any planets.Kasan ate Kessel.

Well we could lead her to bespin or Hoth so she cold freeze/ inhale to much gas. WIAT SCRACTH THAT

What should we do the Bespin one , man it would stink after that.

We could fly in her to blow her brain up!?!?!?

Well that might work........

Remeber you only have 1 Life, use it well!!!(I felt like saying that)

Shootist 06-13-2000 01:46 AM

"Worry too much you do,um-hum." Yoda mumbles. "Have I here the cure I do," he coughs." Stridex medicated pads! Try them and Kasan will shrink like the zit bag she is,Think I.un-hum."
"Look!" exclaimed MASTER,"a post card from Chillin with ancient roons(sp) of hemoroid shrinkage. Perhaps if we follow the cryptic scribes we can minimize her further!!"
IMLADIL,dips his pinkey in the extra dry martini he has been nursing..."Let her suck this green olive from this martini," he offered,"look at the pucker it has put on Lukes face."
Rogue, not to be outdone, suggests,"you know that incense SHOOTIST and somebody let Kasan snort? What effect would it have on US? Perhaps the same effect eh? I think it's worth a try!" Without thought for his own safety,Rogue the Brave whips out his zippo and fires that stick of incense right up! SKNORK!..SMNIFF..Wooooof.....He twitches, shudders, convulses....and slowly, slowly begin to grow.....

VERY FUNNY SCOTTY, now please beam down my PANTS!!!

[This message has been edited by Shootist (edited June 12, 2000).]

Imladil 06-13-2000 05:57 AM

At this point in time, the Rogue compound is overrun by pink and green attack weasels...

Shootist 06-14-2000 12:24 AM

Now, are some of those weasels pink and some green, or are they like pink and green individuals. It's crutial because the Weasel Off I have only works on one type of varmit.

VERY FUNNY SCOTTY, now please beam down my PANTS!!!

Imladil 06-14-2000 01:07 AM

Well, the wild attack weasels of Kessel are like chameleons. They can change from pink to green and back again, or both colors in a kind of desert camoflauge, as suits whatever terrain they're on at the time. I think the best approach might be firehoses.

The Master 06-14-2000 01:58 PM

The weasles some how eat some of the olives out of the martini also and start growing!

"Ahhhhhhhh!!!!! What is going on here?" said Imladil.

"We are DOOMED!" Spoke up The Master....

Chillin 06-18-2000 04:57 AM

And in comes Chillin in his X-WING!!!! He snap rolls and dives pumping lasers into the weasles. "Yeeeeeehhhhaaaa!! I'll clear path for ya, get to your ships!"

Covered by Chillin everyone get's to their ships and they clean up the rest of the weasles!

"Alright, Rogues listen up were using Rogue's idea of blowing her brains out. Now stay sharp cause we're going in hot!

The Rogues fly up her anus like the 2nd Death Star. As a footnote comments were made by IMLADIL and SHOOTIST about how they prefered the Death Star and Master complained about the smell. As they reached her stomach they saw bits and pieces of what she ate. Lunches were lost by all. They flew into her heart and were pulsed into her brain by the blood stream.

(Gaping at the brain) "How are we supposed to hit that?!?! It's only two meters wide," complained Shootist. "It's not that bad I used to bullseye womprats back home in my T-16 and they'rew about that size," said Luke. ({b]Chillin, The Master, Imladil, Shootist[/b], and Rogue together) "SHUTUP!!!!!"

They set up for their attack run but pulled out at the appearance of Kasan's white blood cells!
Dum, Dum, Duuuuum!!!!!

"Tis easier to ask forgiveness than permission."

[This message has been edited by Chillin (edited June 18, 2000).]

Imladil 06-18-2000 06:48 AM

...Which gobble up all of the Rebel spacecraft except Imladil, because his swift little A-wing is faster than Kasan's immunoresponse system.

"This is for Chillin, and The Master, Shootist, Rogue and everyone else except Luke!" he shouts as he unleashes six heavy rockets directly into her pituitary region.

Six heavy rockets explode with a deafening *Whump!*, leaving an expanding cloud of debris and one tiny A-wing (riding just ahead of the shockwave) in space. In coming generations, the Kasan nebula will awe and inspire nighttime gazers...but for now the light of her explosion hasn't even reached our world yet.

<font size=5>The end</font> <font size=1>maybe.</font>

[This message has been edited by Imladil (edited June 18, 2000).]

Chillin 06-18-2000 04:55 PM

Well Imladil, since A-Wings have no heavy missles that wouldn't work out, otherwise thats great.

...But as the white blood cells apeared Chillin flew into a blood vessle to shake a cell, thinking quickly he landed on a red blood cell and powered down. He lost the white cell and made his way to her ear. Blasting away he tore through the wall of ear wax. As soon as he was out of her gravity well he made a short jump to light speed. He came out just in time to see her blow. To his surprise she exploded into thousands of Kasans that were the size of the original Kasan. Chillin jumped back into system and started vaping Kasans before any landed on a world and started eating everything.

HAHAHAHA, nice try Imladil but you can't kill me off!!!!!!!!!

Imladil 06-19-2000 08:50 AM

Infinite Kasans? Nooo-oo--!

Sure, Chillin you can load an A-wing with heavier missiles (in the PC starfighter sims, anyway)...they're just slower, and you can't carry as many. A heavy rocket is really intended for use against bigger ships (two can take out a Corellian corvette,) but that's pretty much what we have with Kasan anyway. So:

Imladil observes the proliferation of Kasan clones from his A-wing. 'Hmmm...' he thinks, 'it looks like we'll be needing help on this one.' He produces the magic dragonballs that Yoda (being himself an old Namek) gave him, and uses them to bring the rest of Rogue Squadron back to life. Then they all enter hyperspace on their way to seek help from...

The Master 06-19-2000 03:19 PM

Meanwhile: When Kason had exploded, everyone was not killed but sent to a differn't Kason- except Luke who happily didn't make it.

The Master was stuck in the lung of one of the Kasons. He was still in his V- Wing. So he shot a cluster missle which made a hole for him to escape. Then he flew through the blood stream and came to her head where he shoot some cluster missles, making a hole in the Kasons head that he was in.

He escaped and saw Imladil's craft and flew over to it. "Where is every one else." The Master asked.

"Probably dead" He answered. The Master sighed and they flew away to make plans on destroying the numorous Kason's.

Back with Chillin he notices two ships appear on radar. Two ships that match the configurations of Imladil's and The Master's ship. He desides to turn around to join them......

Chillin 06-20-2000 03:51 AM

They jumped to the position of the Alliance Fleet and boarded Home One. From there they sent a message to the Imperials asking for help. The Imperials complied and a temporary truce was signed. They got everyone, the Flying Monkey Squadron, the Kamakazie Warriors, everyone. They jumped back in on the Kasans and...

"Tis easier to ask forgiveness than permission."

Rogue 06-20-2000 01:57 PM

Meanwhile in on a planet named Kessel Shootist and Rogue were sent to the heart Rogue in his E-Wing and Shootist in his X-Wing (is that what you fly?) blow a hole throw the heart with one of Shootist's P.Torpedos and one of rogues linked C.Missiles then fly out to follow the others............

Doesn't a v-wing kinda look like a banana

The Master 06-20-2000 07:47 PM

They found the others shortly later leading all of the other squadrons to the Kasons.

"Hey guys!" Said Rogue to Imladil, The Master, and Chillin.

"We thought you were dead!" Replied the Master.

"Well... we had escaped" Said Shootist.

"How?" Asked Imladil.

"Well it might take awile..." Began Rogue.

Shootist 06-20-2000 11:44 PM

Suddenly, just as our Rogue Heroes are almost encased in their coccoon of deep meditation and sneaky stuff, Darth Vader appears and rasps..."LUKE I am your FATHER...but we gotta talk about these pink piggie underwear ya got me fer Father's Day...

Rogue 06-21-2000 12:34 AM

Well he died wait he doesn't die uhm aren't you dead wait thats the next episode

Doesn't a v-wing kinda look like a banana

Shootist 06-21-2000 02:01 AM

Nah...Luke's death was just a pigment of our amalgamation.

Rogue 06-21-2000 11:48 AM

Dan't he was more annoying than..........(thinking ah having to watch Barney Reruns for a YEAR

Doesn't a v-wing kinda look like a banana

Chillin 06-21-2000 02:42 PM

Question in the back. Do you guys actually hate Luke or do you just like to make fun of him for whatever twisted reason?

"Tis easier to ask forgiveness than permission."

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