It's high time for some REAL stories to be told in this simulation...
There's just one problem: whenever you hear stories about the civil war it's usually just another piece of rebel propaganda crap (Even if it features imperial soldiers, it's usually about a traitor who changes sides because he discovers some nefarious imperial plot ... Right ... I suppose it's a wonder that there's still someone fighting on our side) Guess the public finds tales about criminals and rebels daring and exciting. And every fool who dislikes his local tax collector probably rejoices whenever he hears about rebels making another imperial bank robbery or something like that. Guess what? Not only rebels, smugglers, headhunters and the rest of civilization's filth have exciting adventures!
And it's not just about Vader's cronies, VIP's and the big news that hits the galaxy's news channels either - you'd be surprised if you'd know what we regular grunts and pilots have experienced during our career. Some of those tales would bleach your hair white and haunt your nights for the rest of your lives...
You know, the things we loyal imperial forces kept from harming all those millions of innocent and naive citizens ... but nobody talks about that, right? Far more exciting to listen to yet another stupid rebel shrewdly blowing up a hapless imperial outpost ... Pah! If you want REALLY heroic tales, I could fill your ears with shiploads full of exciting yarn - err ... I mean reports.
Boys, after five years patroulling the Outer Rim, I could tell stories for two weeks straight, without stopping, save for one sip of ale or another ... and you'd laugh in the face of everyone telling you tales of rebel heroes after this.
Because it's fellows like us who are experiencing the truly exciting adventures and it's about time someone made a story like that!
You say: rebels dare to fly rugged ships with second-hand spare parts, kept together just by chewing gum and spit?
That's because they know nothing about engineering, but out there in the Rim supplies are scarce for everyone and I can tell you that there were times when me and the rest of the crew from the Bloodhawk, our trusty old corvette, had to make do with far less than what the rebels had and still managed to keep a straight ship. The truth is: Rebels like dirt, probably because they feek kinship with it ... Well anyway, I could tell you about the time when we single-handedly stopped the Rebel's secret genetical experiments on Kashyyk to create a new Super-Wookiee, or the time when we had to face -without any backup- a calamari cruiser ... and took him out before he could destroy that medical frigate full of wounded. Or how we blew up that secret battleship prototype on a closely guarded military base. Plenty of exciting stuff that never became public, either because we had no proof -cause we did it all alone - or because it's top secret.
It even features attractive ladies - such as our clever captain Scamiri. You know, one of the reasons rebel stories are so popular is probably because they always throw in a damsel in distress or beautiful rebel amazon single-handedly defeating legions of stormtroopers or something like that ... Women are always good for stories, I guess, but it's simply not true that only rebels get charming company. Well, we don't have many female soldiers or even officers in the Imperial forces, that's correct - but there are a few, mainly officers or special agents. So you see: we DO have all the necessary stuff for exciting adventures and it's about time somebody told them!
The citizens out there in the galaxy get a totally skewed picture of our glorious imperial forces otherwise! Therefore I plead to include such exciting stories in this or the next simulation program!
My dear fellow imperials, please sign and support this righteous campaign!
And if there really should be any troubles -just ask good old Talme and he'll be ready to supply you with thrilling pilot tales. ;)
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