Chapter 15: Diaries of the Jedi Part II
Some more journal entries that I had been able to recover. These were all in regard to my Ďimprisonment.í
It has been a month since Jacen had left and the war is going poorly for us. We have had as many as six battles but they have left our forces drained and in despair. We were lucky that there were no space battles yet. I canít imagine the fact of facing another bombardment like the one that rained down on us after conclave nor do I look forward to the prospect of fighting as I did during the Mandalorian Wars and the war against Malak.
The battles themselves perplex me to some degree, actually a great deal. Every time we have engaged the Rashikians, they attack, fighting fiercely as if with the intent to conquer but then they pull back but not without inflicting heavy casualties to our troops. Looking at these battles in hindsight, I think this is a deliberate attempt to weaken us for a final battle. I canít help but wonder if Jacen was right about what he said before he left, that it was coming for him, whatever it was. I asked Master Tulre what he meant by it but the master just shook his head and said that there are some things that never truly leave us. That they were always one step behind us and if we didnít confront them, they would come after us. This I cannot understand and yet I do. I there are some things that I remember doing when I was a Sith Lord that haunt me still but I canít imagine them physically hunting me. It is disturbingÖ
During our last battle, Darius was wounded but not too bad. Naomi has a remarkable skill at healing as well as those from the other tribes. Darius will have a slight scar on his shoulder but other than that he will be fine. Others were not so lucky. Not a day goes by when I walk past the tents that I heard the soft songs of death coming from the people. How they still manage to sing the soul to the netherworld in a time like this is beyond rational thought. I personally think that it is a great strength within. Then again, they have been fighting for years before I came and they know what to expect, death. I know this must be hard on Darius considering that he too had changed but since Malachor V. This war will change all of us. Even if we do defeat the great evil, it will still come. If one thing that I learned from Tulre it was that everything needs to be in balance. You canít have one without the other. Funny how the Jedi on Dantooine and Coruscant viewed things in a similar fashion.
Today was another drill for the soldiers and a day of meditating for the Jedi. It was annoying to do but the warriors place a great emphasis on being prepared and ready to fight. Huh, just like Canderous and my bloodthirsty droid. I wonder how they are faring considering that Darius had left them behind along with the Ebon Hawk. That ship has so many memories in it now. A cruel thought entered my head as to what would happen if Jacen should set foot in that ship but I chastised myself. That was not a kind thing but I thought it slightly amusing when he was angry or did something funny because he couldnít distinguish the difference. It made him less reserved and more open. Golly he was just as bad as Carth when I first tried to open up with him. Just the mere thought of our fights then can make me mad and laugh.
Michaela is doing fine. She has been working hard for the past month helping when she can and caring for the wounded. I get the feeling that she would rather be out there fighting alongside the men but she took it with such grace. I often had to scold her along with Nayana and Naomi about watching what she was doing and to take it easy. It makes me wonder if I was ever that bad with Carth. I donít know but I grow more worried not just for Michaela but for the others who couldnít fight. They were the most vulnerable and I wonder how we would be ever able to protect them.
I could sense the boy right before I even met him. He was like a beacon crying out through the Force and yet such a strange beacon. Hmm, I donít know if he is too clever or too dumb especially the way he got into that bar fight. I shouldnít be too hard on the boy. At least heís got a backbone when standing up to a challenge.
When I first met him, he looked like a brown covered lump huddled by the wall with his pet beside him. At first I thought the thing was going to bite me but all it did was just acknowledge my presence, much like the inattentive youth sitting on the ground. When I finally managed to get him to wake up he looked at me with a set of green eyes with flecks of gold dancing near the pupils. I admit that I was stunned by the look of them. He never removed his hood but I could see a faint scar on his left eyebrow that was noticeable when he cocked it at me. He was brown haired with two stray locks. I wanted to chuckle a bit as that reminded me of Carth. Bah, enough with the sentiments. I had enough when he told us that she had left.
I just talked to him trying to draw some sort of response from the boy but he remained silent. Personally I thought he would be a mouthy little thing like she was when I first met her. He just gazed at me with them eyes. He didnít even flinch when I mentioned that I knew he was a Jedi though he did have the nerve to chuckle at me. I could see that he knew something; it was in his eyes. For a minute I thought that I saw his thoughts or a vision, bah. What do I know? More likely it was something that I was hoping for. Anyway, I could tell he was not a Jedi in the traditional sense of the word and I made a mention note to mention it to Carth. At least I wonít go half senile about this.
When I saw that he was getting sleepy and yawning at me, I wrapped it up. I spent a good twenty minutes talking to him and he yawns at me! Funny thing was he didnít even move from his position. He had his knees drawn up and his arms wrapped around them and his head on his knees. That would have my old limbs cry out for a stretch. Young people. I sighed and left his apartment, making sure that the guards didnít remember me. I went directly to Carth and told him what I found out. I could tell that he would have barged in and done and interrogation but I was more cautious. I told the sonny to hold on and just watch him. Somehow I had a feeling that he was here for a reason and I wanted to be certain of it.
After speaking to Carth I went to the docks. I had a feeling that the lad would have wanted to leave as soon as he could. Who could blame him? I will say this though, when I saw him fight in the cantina, he was really something. I had never seen such a good fight, except for maybe Canderous. Hehe. Now I have a good memory of the brute even though I never saw eye to eye with him.