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Old 08-06-2006, 04:23 PM   #4
Not Ichi the Killer
itchythesamurai's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Kashyyyk, Texas
Posts: 2,868
LFN Staff Member 
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

To begin with, the prepubescent son rips off his clothes to reveal a pimp suit. He blows a whistle and a small squadron of hookers line up in front of him. He is obviously disappointed with their performance for the day. He produces a stool, steps on it, and proceeds to shoot each one of them between the eyes with a nailgun. "Now you bitches have been nailed enough for today!" Not to be outdone, the daughter drops her skirt, and plunges both of her arms elbow-deep into her anus. She then spreads her arms to produce an astoundingly large opening and thrusts her gaping rump into the air. The son takes the opportunity to strike a pose, and then dives head first into her rectum. With his noggin firmly enclosed by his sister's intestines, he stands erect and wears her as a helmet, when her colon erupts in a fountain of feces, followed by a lesser, but still noteworth stream of scalding hot urine. The boy is drenched in his sister's waste, and the puddle of drippy excrement expands rapidly, at an almost inhuman rate. The parents strip off their clothes to reveal kinky leather S&M outfits, and begin lapping up the chunky liquid from the floor on all fours. They then proceed to engage their son sexually from both sides, utilizing a vast selection of whips and chains, all the while making out with their ass-helmet of a daughter. The dog takes a break from licking himself passionately and looks up anxiously. His genitals explode and an extreme surge of canine semen propels forth, covering the room. The sheer force of the animal's ejaculation propels the dog out of the seventeenth story window. The family and the very room drips with the eclectic assortment of bodily fluids.

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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