Thread: [Fic] Dream or Reality?
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Old 07-28-2008, 04:12 AM   #22
Rabish Bini
Sydney Roosters Genius
 
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NSW, Aus
Posts: 2,128
Current Game: KotOR III
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev7 View Post
Well, I think that you have rushed the end just a tad. I think that more information would have been a little bit more useful such as why Revan wanted Juhani to go with him. Juhani just arrived on to Dantooine, and she only got off a sentance before being called by Zez-Kai-Ell and Kavar.

I do like how Revan has been thinking about Bastila though. He is almost reminicing. The descriptions are very nice. I almost feel sorry for Revan's loss. This is really actually the first time that he would have had something affect him like the way Bastila's death has. Very interesting. I just hope thar Revan keeps his cool. Good chapter though. Keep up the good work. Oh, and do you mind maybe erm...keeping the size of the text normal. It is a little bit hard to read. Same thing with the font. Just makes it a little easier to read. As for the songs you are refering to, I have no idea what they are or what they might be. :/
Hmm, I did rush it a bit, but I just wanted to get this chapter done and out of the way. And yeah, I'll keep the font normal, I noticed it hurt the eyes a bit too. Glad you liked it.


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