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Old 09-10-2008, 01:45 AM   #9
Rabish Bini
@Rabish Bini
Sydney Roosters Genius
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NSW, Aus
Posts: 2,128
Current Game: KotOR III
Nice chapter, improved grammar, nice story, the only criticism is once again how the speaker changes in the same paragraph, beside that, well done

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