Hmm. Well, looking into the problems, it looked like my card suffers from some undetermined compatibilities issues. Some forums claim motherboard issues. I tried two different versions of nVidia drivers to no avail. Cleaning out drivers and making clean installs. Switching PCI-E slots. Checking BIOS settings. Nothing is working. It looks like it's actually defective.
Locked up in Just Cause 2 constantly. Crashed in BFBC2 a few times. Worked fine with Portal 2. Eventually suffered from underwhelming performance in Shogun 2. Worked pretty damn well with Crysis 2... until it gave some really weird
. If anything is a sign, it's that I played Crysis 2 for about 90 minutes any had zero problems. Then more recently these crazy artifacts started showing up... I imagine if I had the patience to put it back in it'd eventually go up in a poof of smoke. As a final nail in the coffin for this card, my GTX460 is running just fine with the same drivers running.
The first two times it crashed it would just not run anything that was hardware supported. Chrome, Firefox, any game... they'd all crash as soon as the started up.
Oh, and it also ran so hot that my CPU got warmer just by proximity. Seriously, it stayed quiet and all... but it was running at 69°C at some points... It rose my CPU's temp by a good 5°C. The top of the card felt like a toaster.
So, yeah. RMA time. This will only cost me $12 in shipping and about two weeks of time... Great... :<