And within the larger narrative, your Revan still is Dark Side in KotOR. But when Revan moved to the larger part of the SW universe, including sequels, a set story had to be put in line. If every story had a vague narrative that was only vaguely mentioned elsewhere, you'd barely have an expanded universe going on. SW's EU's strength is how consistent it is, where events are firm, happened, and have effects on everything else. Like I said in my very big post earlier, I like how Revan and the Exile's firm stories tied into the larger narrative created for TOR, giving us that massive big bad in the Sith Emperor.
Lynk, when you said you reject the NJO, does that also include the things after? Given that the books since then have relied on character developments within the NJO, it seems like it'd be hard to reject only the NJO and nothing else after. I don't care for where Jacen Solo went in LotF, but I accept it all as part of the larger narrative.
But then, I accept all of SW as part of a larger story, whether I like the smaller bits or not. I just treat it like real life. There are some things I don't like, but I can't just pretend they don't exist. I just accept them as part of the universe and move on to other aspects of the universe. SW's had some pretty damn dorky stuff, like the Holiday Special, but there are ways of using retcons to make them less insane and dorky. I guess I'm just very accepting and laid back about canon and continuity and works that I may dislike. I don't know, I'm babbling, stopping my post now. :P
"Sir,we are beginning our search for these rumored 'underwater villages'.They will not stay hidden for long". -Battle Droid Commander OOM-9!