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Old 01-22-2004, 10:47 AM   #1
Sivy
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Post things that can be learnt from the star wars movies

-Never trust men in dark helmets.
- Sometimes, you've just gotta do something that seems totally suicidal.
- Always check the background of people you want to get intimately involved with, they may be your relatives.
- You may have family members in surprisingly high positions.
- Before you kill someone make sure they aren't your father.
- Know the difference between power socket and a computer terminal.
- THIS one goes there, and THAT one goes there!
- No matter how tasty that hunk of meat looks on that pole on that forest moon, don't grab it; it's probably a trap. (Or: when you see a piece of dead meat impaled on a stake in the woods, LEAVE IT!!!!!!!!!)
- Cute, cuddly, widdle teddy bears usually will eat you alive unless you can prove you're a god.
- Take a good look around for bad guys before looking into your binoculars.
- Fire on a rebel base *before* they blow up your space station.
- Don't assume a senior citizen is weak and frail; they may zap you with lightning bolts.
- You will find many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view
- Your eyes deceive you, don't trust them.
- The Bad Guys can't hit the broad side of a barn.
- But, "Only Imperial Storm Troopers are so precise"
- It's never my fault.
- Never judge anything by its size.
- There are those who are less forgiving than Darth Vader.
- Always let a Wookie win.
- Never cast your lightsaber away, you just might need it
- It not a good idea to follow up on a vision while meditating
- Always pay off your debts in a hurry
- If your in it just for the money, you might blow your chances with the princess
- If some yells out "It's a trap!" then believe them
- Walk in single file to hide your numbers.
- When wearing stormtrooper armor, remember to make sure the door's completely open before going through it.
- You'll always have a bad feeling about something
- Don't park in asteroids
- Never say "watch this" when dealing with a hyperdrive
- Don't shoot out the controls to a bridge BEFORE you cross the bridge
- If you want to keep your friends warm, shove them inside a dead animal!!
- If you run a military academy, go over how to deal with small, furry opponents.
- Whining about power converters makes you look like an idiot.
- Dead animals usually smell worse on the INSIDE
- Never assume responsibility if it means you're likely to be choked to death.
- When your Tauntaun smells something, it's usually a good time to high-tail it outta there.
- When someone tells you to eject, it's probably a good idea.
- You really should fire on lifepods whether there are signs of life or not
- If you ever build a throne room, NEVER put a great big shaft leading to a big nuclear reactor right in the center of the room.
- Don't judge someone by their bad grammar
- An entire planet could have only one climate
-. Everything has a weakness, it's just a matter of exploiting it
* Emperor - overconfident
* Luke - friends
* Death Star - thermal exhaust port
* Stormtroopers - Ewoks
* Star Destroyers - bridge deflector shields
* Darth Vader - compassion for his kids
* Leia - smugglers
* Chewie - dead animals hanging from trees
- Beware those heart-to-heart talks with Dad. One of you might end up losing an appendage.
- never say "where are you taking this---THING---?" b/c the next thing you know, you're flying across the room.
- No matter how cool a guy's helmet looks, push him off a high place and he'll scream like a girl.
- Cool costume + Bare minimum of screen time = Eternal popularity
- Sticks and Stones WILL Break your bones.
- Nothing can happen without a Bothan spy dying
- Don't use targeting computers; rely on the voicesd in your head
- with good camouflage no one will see the big reflective gold droid you brought along.
- Take an R-2 unit with you...its better than any Swiss army knife.
353. A little one-on-one with Dad can cost you an arm or a leg - literally.
- Bounty Hunters turn into Alderaanian princesses when you kiss them.
- When all else fails....jump!
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Old 01-22-2004, 07:45 PM   #2
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Thats a hell of a long list - but funny.

I like that. (With the voice of that woman from one of the Simpsons episodes. )


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Old 01-22-2004, 07:52 PM   #3
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A real lesson: "Do or do not, there is no try"

Though the ' If you ever build a throne room, NEVER put a great big shaft leading to a big nuclear reactor right in the center of the room' is very wise too
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Old 01-22-2004, 08:21 PM   #4
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- Picking up power converters = wasting time with friends
- Having a bad transmitter is an exceptable excuse for a stormtrooper not being at their post
- Shooting precision is rated on a vastly lower scale in galaxies far, far away
- Do not underestimate your opponants chances, especially if they are rebels or are a part of any sort of alliance
- Clones are immensely superior to droids
- Garbage shoots never lead to better situations
- rooms made of ice and snow are supposed to be freezing
- The appropriate response to someone telling you they love you is to say, "I know"
- Wookies are not taken into consideration by starship designers
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Old 01-22-2004, 08:38 PM   #5
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- Never, I mean never open up a TaunTaun. And I mean never.
- Before watching Episode 6 again make sure that you have earplugs when Luke is around.
- Droids can still have love without privates.
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Old 01-22-2004, 09:40 PM   #6
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- Never put your shield reactors in the easiest accesible place around
- Never use mechanized bridges inside your own base
- Never hide in the garbage
- Always trust the oldest and wisest green little guy in the galaxy
- Don't let Tuskens steal your momma
- Riding on huge, fat pigs impresses girls a lot
- When you have a huge space station, never leave the one garbage shaft leading to the core unguarded
- Watch out for blue-skinned punkers
- Never build a giant hatch to a monster cage right below your throne
- Princesses in gold bikinis make great slaves




Pondering the mystery of rainbows, UFOs, and ****ing magnets.
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Old 01-23-2004, 10:17 AM   #7
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-Dont ever save a Gungans life, ur gonna regret it(just ask Qui-Gon)

edit: oh cr*p im a Gungan grunt!



I tried
so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

Last edited by Ragnos; 01-23-2004 at 10:33 AM.
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Old 01-23-2004, 10:29 AM   #8
STTCT
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they didn't learnt you to spell huh?


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Old 01-23-2004, 12:26 PM   #9
Glaive v.1
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Great Lists Guys.....and girls



Thanks for ImageShack for free Image Hosting
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Old 01-23-2004, 01:32 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by STTCT
they didn't learnt you to spell huh?
No, me fail 2 grade english.


Some of my favorites:
- No matter how cool a guy's helmet looks, push him off a high place and he'll scream like a girl.
- Garbage shoots never lead to better situations
- When wearing stormtrooper armor, remember to make sure the door's completely open before going through it.
- You'll always have a bad feeling about something
- Don't park in asteroids
- The Bad Guys can't hit the broad side of a barn.
- But, "Only Imperial Storm Troopers are so precise"
- It's never my fault.



Last.FM - Ow, give up the funk
Let the truth of love be lighted
Let the love of truth shine clear
Sensibility
Armed with sense and liberty
With the heart and mind united
In a single perfect sphere
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Old 01-23-2004, 06:52 PM   #11
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- Stormtroopers can't hit anything because they "can't see a thing" in their helmets.
- Ancient weapons and hokey religions are no match for a good blaster at your side.
- Never take a restraining bolt off a droid you just bought.
- Always look straight ahead when driving a speeder bike.
- A tribe of 3 foot primitive bears can defeat an entire legion of Imperial stormtroopers, making one realize how pathetic the rebels at Hoth were.
- Being slowly digested over 1000 years is not seen as a pleasant way to go.
- Holding a thermal detonator makes you seem fearless and inventive, but apparently not stupid.
- Rancor keepers love their Rancors.
- Slave dancers do not love Rancors.
- When a Jedi Knight says this is your last chance, it probably is.
- Councillor ships should always have ambassadors.
- The stun setting on your blaster is an excellent tool for capturing princesses.
- If the Sith Lord you are dueling can hold you off with only one hand on his saber, you are in big trouble.
- Nice Sith Lords will sit down to dinner with you before taking you prisoner.
- Swamp monsters do not like the taste of droids.
- There is always a bigger fish.
- Always trust your fate to boys you hardly know.
- When a Jedi Master says, "drop," you probably should.
- When A Jedi Master says, "stay in that cockpit," you probably shouldn't.
- Sith Lords are not concerned with asteroids.
- If a Sith Lord thinks you are as clumsy as you are stupid, don't, repeat don't answer the videophone.
- Being lower in rank than said Mr. Clumsystupid means your odds of promotion are quite good.
- if at first your superweapon fails, try, try again.
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