Physical punishment of children

[Emperor Devon]

Originally Posted by Devon's Nemesis

Believe me, it was an odd event, storming out of the store carrying a 3 year old sideways across my hip like a sack of potatoes as she's kicking and shredding my eardrums shrieking at a pitch that Mariah Carey would have trouble reaching. I'm sure I was the entertainment of the day for security.

Good gawd, I'm surprised security didn't stop you. I'd have thought there was some form of child abuse going on. How long was the walk from the store to your car?

[Det. Bart Lasiter]

Originally Posted by Emperor Devon

Good gawd, I'm surprised security didn't stop you. I'd have thought there was some form of child abuse going on. How long was the walk from the store to your car?

To paraphrase Louis C.K (just because I can't remember the quote), most people look at a kid crying and think "what did that ****ty parent do to that poor kid?" Whereas parents see a crying kid and think "what did that ****ty kid do to that poor woman?"

[The Source]

I have been on the recieving end of some harsh punishments. Truthfully, I can understand punishing a kid, but I think there needs to be some restraint on the physical side. During my parent's divorce, my father was brought up on physical abuse charges. He didn't know when to stop, and alcohol didn't help matters. He really needed theropy, but he never received any help. Too bad. I haven't talked to my dad for over eleven years now, so you can imagine the type of chaos physical punishment could conflict on everyone involved. It sucks to live through it, and it sucks to see what it can do to a family.

[Det. Bart Lasiter]

Originally Posted by MacLeodGR

I have been on the recieving end of some harsh punishments. Truthfully, I can understand punishing a kid, but I think there needs to be some restraint on the physical side. During my parent's divorce, my father was brought up on physical abuse charges. He didn't know when to stop, and alcohol didn't help matters. He really needed theropy, but he never received any help. Too bad. I haven't talked to my dad for over eleven years now, so you can imagine the type of chaos physical punishment could conflict on everyone involved. It sucks to live through it, and it sucks to see what it can do to a family.

I'd say everyone in this thread is against that sort of thing though. To me, that clearly crosses the line between punishment and abuse.

[The Source]

Originally Posted by jmac7142

I'd say everyone in this thread is against that sort of thing though. To me, that clearly crosses the line between punishment and abuse.

One year before I graduated from high school, my family went through a massive divorce. (Other personal reasons). I will allways remember what I have been through, and it will help me approach the future. I am blessed to have other family members and friends to help out. Now, I am 30 years old, and everything in my life has changed. For several years after my families divorce, I would wake up with nightmares. Even though I had a sence of resolve, I still felt shaken up about what I went through.

For those who think physical punishment is necessary:

One night I came home late from seeing a movie. I was about an hour late, and I didn't call to let anyone know. As I got into the door, my father grounded me for two months. After he handed out his sentence, he knocked me on the floor, stood over me, looked down, and delivered closed fists across my head. He repeated this until I stopped moving. I tried to get up so many times, but his body weight was overwhelming. Keep in mind I came from a middle-class family at the time, so this could happen to anyone in any class level.

His version of justice was that there isn't enough pain. Either I would have to bruse, or I would have to yell in pain. Even though I did yell, he still kept going at times.

Wow. That was a long ago. Thank God I had help. 18 years of that garbage was bad enough. That piece of shnite.

[Det. Bart Lasiter]

Originally Posted by MacLeodGR

One year before I graduated from high school, my family went through a massive divorce. (Other personal reasons). I will allways remember what I have been through, and it will help me approach the future. I am blessed to have other family members and friends to help out. Now, I am 30 years old, and everything in my life has changed. For several years after my families divorce, I would wake up with nightmares. Even though I had a sence of resolve, I still felt shaken up about what I went through.

For those who think physical punishment is necessary:

One night I came home late from seeing a movie. I was about an hour late, and I didn't call to let anyone know. As I got into the door, my father grounded me for two months. After he handed out his sentence, he knocked me on the floor, stood over me, looked down, and delivered closed fists across my head. He repeated this until I stopped moving. I tried to get up so many times, but his body weight was overwhelming. Keep in mind I came from a middle-class family at the time, so this could happen to anyone in any class level.

His version of justice was that there isn't enough pain. Either I would have to bruse, or I would have to yell in pain. Even though I did yell, he still kept going at times.

Wow. That was a long ago. Thank God I had help. 18 years of that garbage was bad enough. That piece of shnite.

Once again, that clearly falls in the category of abuse and not punishment.

[The Source]

Originally Posted by jmac7142

Once again, that clearly falls in the category of abuse and not punishment.

From where I stand, there is a very fine line between physical punishment and abuse.

[Nancy Allen``]

A thirty year old, 210 pound man striking a seven year old 40 pound girl is not discipline. It's assault, you can ask any police officer and they'll tell you that.

[The Source]

Originally Posted by Nancy Allen``

A thirty year old, 210 pound man striking a seven year old 40 pound girl is not discipline. It's assault, you can ask any police officer and they'll tell you that.

Yep. I agree. I have been in her shoes. I hope justice will be swift, and that piece of shnite pays daily. I hope the girl comes out of this without serious mental scarring.

[Emperor Devon]

Good God, Mac, my life seems so sheltered in comparison to your story. You have my sympathies for what you've been through.

Although I am (obviously) against spanking, I think that there is a large difference between it and abuse. Both are a very poor form of parenting, but they are quite different.

[The Source]

I don't normally talk about this garbage. As you have read, I would have liked to have forgotten about it. When conversations about physical punishment come up, I am very sensitive to the overall subject matter.

Punishment - means to deliver pain.
Discipline - means to teach.

There is a difference between the two. I will discipline my children, but I will not punish my children. People should read up on the definitions. Discipline requires no physical punishment. Discipline techniques will teach children to behave, and it will protect them from physical harm. There are other ways to deal with children, and they will ensure their sefety.

[Jae Onasi]

Originally Posted by Emperor Devon

Good gawd, I'm surprised security didn't stop you. I'd have thought there was some form of child abuse going on.

Parental abuse with the extremely high pitch of her scream, maybe, but no child abuse.

I was just holding on to her. No squeezing, no hitting, no screaming, just walking right back out the doors I came in not 5 minutes earlier. The security guy standing by the doors may have seen the whole thing anyway, since I was right be the doors the entire time. He'd have known she was having just one spectacular tantrum.
Remember, she was doing the spaghetti-leg thing (you know, when you pick a toddler up to get them to stand, and it's like the bones have completely left their legs and they sink down to the ground) and refused to walk. When I picked her up, she kicked the bejeezers out of me, then tried to throw herself back out of my arms and then throw herself forward and headbutt my shoulder. I couldn't hold her against me to stop the throwing herself around thing and control her legs at the same time because of her height. The only way to carry her safely without losing my virginity at that point was to carry her sideways. Didn't hurt her one bit, though it looked really weird.

Originally Posted by Emperor Devon

How long was the walk from the store to your car?

Too long, whatever it was. Three millimeters would have been too long.

@Mac--if I saw a kid going through what you went through, I would have called the cops to go arrest the jerk. Then I would have called Child Protective Services and his butt would have been in jail so fast he wouldn't know what happened. I don't always recognize abuse quickly enough, but when I do, I don't mess around making the necessary phone calls. Sorry you had to go through something so horrible.

[Emperor Devon]

Originally Posted by Jae Onasi

Parental abuse with the extremely high pitch of her scream, maybe, but no child abuse.

That's just the first impression a lot of people get when they hear children screaming so loudly.

Originally Posted by Jae Onasi

Didn't hurt her one bit, though it looked really weird.

Especially so if you if you picture a young woman dressed in black with a concealed face, cape, and lightwhip doing it.

Originally Posted by Jae Onasi

his butt would have been in jail so fast he wouldn't know what happened.

Unfortunately, our judicial system is too soft on those things. Some cases of murdering small children have been punished with less than 20 years, for crying out loud.

[The Source]

Originally Posted by Jae Onasi

@Mac--if I saw a kid going through what you went through, I would have called the cops to go arrest the jerk. Then I would have called Child Protective Services and his butt would have been in jail so fast he wouldn't know what happened. I don't always recognize abuse quickly enough, but when I do, I don't mess around making the necessary phone calls. Sorry you had to go through something so horrible.

It was a family secret. My mother didn't do anything at the time. She knew what was going on, but she didn't do anything to stop it. After everything was said and done, her eyes were finally openned to what had happened. It was like she lived with blinders, and then someone made her understand what was wrong.

It was about 11 years ago, so it is long, long, long gone. Ocassionally, I see threads or news reports and they bring back some memories. Like this one. I have grown over the years, so it doesn't affect me as much. I thank everyone for their sympathy, but I consider everything burried into the past.

When people deal with their children, please consider discipline over punishment. Look up the words and understand them. Kids will remember everything as they grow up, and they will react to you according to how you approach them.

[Maxstate]

The "ignoring thing" or your parents saying "we're not mad, just dissapointed" for me is far worse than any physical punishment.

Oh sorry:
Im against punishment.

[Prime]

What I have found surprising is what you are actually able to do physically in terms of the law. Parents actually have a lot more "means" at their disposal than I think most realize.

I'm starting to figure this stuff out because I daughter is getting to the age where she will need to be disciplined. Right now she always stops when we say no.