Dear Tim Schafer, The Info Cow, and the collective Double Fine.
As you may or may not know, recently, Razputin's Domain has died like a kitten taking an all-too-unfortunate catnap on a train track. This is bad, and we blame you in entirety. As you may or may not know, Metal Gear Solid was an awesome game - so Metal Gear Solid 2 just made sense, and no matter how blatantly irritating Raiden was, fans still loved it. Why? Because of their commitment to the series. And you have enough fans with enough commitment to Psychonauts that no matter what you released, they would love you. Love you forever, send hastily-written love mail with their hands quaking from sheer joy.
This is why, in the interest of the people, I have sent exactly 30 genetically modified cows ready to leave quite possibly THE nastiest excrement as soon as a human comes in any form of contact with them. It smells like burnt hair, if that's of any hint to it's awfulness magnitude.
Thus, you should find these cows and disarm them - or perhaps be better off not finding them at all, with an explicitly signed note from Tim Schafer stating there WILL be a Psychonauts 2. Or something, I don't know. The fact is, it'd just be better for the world, and the people of RD, and Double Fine, for there to be a Psychonauts 2. Also I've been feeling really down lately and Psychonauts 2 would make me run down the street naked, screaming that there was a god, with "TIM SCHAFER IS THE SECOND COMING OF JESUS" painted on my chest. Yes. I'd do that. And film it, and put it on YouTube.
Also, unless I get some word on the next game you're making, I will never tell you how to disarm the cows' flatulence and defecation.
It's my belief that Friday is "weed through the mail day" and with a title like ATTN: IMPORTANT, THIS IS NOW A HOSTAGE SITUATION INVOLVING COWS, I think he'd notice.
If you want to help my attempt to win Tim's heart, and a sequel that can only end in awesome, WRITE TO INFO@DOUBLEFINE.COM
AND ASK FOR IT DAMNIT! And do it like I did, because Tim Schafer does it like that.