lfnetwork.com mark read register faq members calendar

Thread: Nebraska state senator sues God
Thread Tools Display Modes
Post a new thread. Add a reply to this thread. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Old 09-18-2007, 01:14 AM   #1
Achilles
Dapper Chimp
 
Achilles's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 8,204
Helpful! Veteran Modder Forum Veteran 
Nebraska state senator sues God

Link
Quote:
LINCOLN, Neb. - The defendant in a state senator's lawsuit is accused of causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more still. He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He's everywhere.
If he doesn't show up for his court appearance, can the judge issue a warrant for his arrest? I also wonder how he would be sworn in for testimony. Hmmm....
Achilles is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-18-2007, 01:41 AM   #2
Tyrion
nothing is real
 
Tyrion's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: no one I think is in my tree, I mean it must be high or low
Posts: 6,917
LF Jester Forum Veteran 
If we convict him for a death sentence, does that mean Friedrich Nietzsche will roll in his grave faster than Sonic on a Red Bull binge?



Tyrion is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-18-2007, 11:39 AM   #3
Dagobahn Eagle
First Strike Tester
 
Dagobahn Eagle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Bergen, Norway
Posts: 3,513
Current Game: First Strike
Reminds me of the petition to God to stop him from hurting people in wars and disasters. That didn't work either.

Dagobahn Eagle is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-18-2007, 12:48 PM   #4
Sabretooth
鬼龍院皐月
 
Sabretooth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Mumbai
Posts: 9,365
Sounds more like a parody of lawsuits to me. Still, it doesn't make sense that you are trying to take legal action against someone who isn't human. If you are, then you are including God as a functional member of the human society, which elicits a mighty WTF from the Almighty.


Sabretooth is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-18-2007, 01:11 PM   #5
Jae Onasi
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem
 
Jae Onasi's Avatar
 
Status: Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,916
Current Game: Guild Wars 2, VtMB, TOR
Alderaan News Holopics contributor Helpful! LucasCast staff Veteran Fan Fic Author 
Our tax dollars at work yet again.

I can just see the Nebraska state legislature next passing a law saying it's illegal to sue a deity after this.


From MST3K's spoof of "Hercules Unchained"--heard as Roman medic soldiers carry off an unconscious Greek Hercules on a 1950's Army green canvas stretcher: "Hi, we're IX-I-I. Did somebody dial IX-I-I?"

Read The Adventures of Jolee Bindo and see the amazing Peep Surgery
Story WIP: The Dragonfighters
My blog: Confessions of a Geeky Mom--Latest post: Security Alerts!
Love Star Trek AND gaming? Check out Lotus Fleet.

Jae Onasi is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-18-2007, 02:43 PM   #6
tk102
Well past expiration date
 
tk102's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 5,766
Current Game: Dragon Age: Origins
Forum Veteran Helpful! Notable contributor 
Hello, Lucifer?
Is this God? Hey what's going on?
I'm getting sued.
Holy ****!
Precisely.
That sucks. How can I help?
Well I need a lawyer...


*ba dum pa*
tk102 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-18-2007, 04:33 PM   #7
Thor the Bassis
Rookie
 
Thor the Bassis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: England
Posts: 157
This is a bit crazy. I'm curious how this helps anyone in either this life or the next.

St Peter: "So you sued God. How do you think that helps your chances of getting through these gates?"


Sometimes in life you're the pigeon. Other times you're the statue.
Thor the Bassis is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-19-2007, 05:07 AM   #8
Rogue Warrior
Banned
 
Status: Banned
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Geelong Australia
Posts: 207
Only in America.
Rogue Warrior is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-20-2007, 06:36 AM   #9
Mace MacLeod
Food-based rocker
 
Mace MacLeod's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Somewhere else. Probably.
Posts: 1,096
Current Game: World of Warcraft
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
^^^Where this guy was elected. Yes, people apparently voted this nutball into office. Beggars the imagination...


Be considerate to others or I will bite your torso and give you a disease!
Mace MacLeod is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-20-2007, 09:51 AM   #10
Jae Onasi
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem
 
Jae Onasi's Avatar
 
Status: Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,916
Current Game: Guild Wars 2, VtMB, TOR
Alderaan News Holopics contributor Helpful! LucasCast staff Veteran Fan Fic Author 
What's the likelihood he'll be re-elected next term? I'm betting the probability approaches zero....


From MST3K's spoof of "Hercules Unchained"--heard as Roman medic soldiers carry off an unconscious Greek Hercules on a 1950's Army green canvas stretcher: "Hi, we're IX-I-I. Did somebody dial IX-I-I?"

Read The Adventures of Jolee Bindo and see the amazing Peep Surgery
Story WIP: The Dragonfighters
My blog: Confessions of a Geeky Mom--Latest post: Security Alerts!
Love Star Trek AND gaming? Check out Lotus Fleet.

Jae Onasi is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-20-2007, 04:53 PM   #11
Achilles
Dapper Chimp
 
Achilles's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 8,204
Helpful! Veteran Modder Forum Veteran 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jae Onasi
What's the likelihood he'll be re-elected next term? I'm betting the probability approaches zero....
90% christian, so I'd say you're probably right, assuming that this issue is the sole consideration in the campaign.
Achilles is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-20-2007, 09:29 PM   #12
TK-8252
Get Cloned.
 
TK-8252's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 5,850
I think he's right to sue. God needs to pay up...
TK-8252 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-21-2007, 07:02 AM   #13
Mace MacLeod
Food-based rocker
 
Mace MacLeod's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Somewhere else. Probably.
Posts: 1,096
Current Game: World of Warcraft
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
That's the thing, how would he collect...?


Be considerate to others or I will bite your torso and give you a disease!
Mace MacLeod is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-21-2007, 01:55 PM   #14
Dagobahn Eagle
First Strike Tester
 
Dagobahn Eagle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Bergen, Norway
Posts: 3,513
Current Game: First Strike
The 'lawsuit' was meant as a practical example of how frivolous lawsuits in the States have gotten totally out of hand. This is a more than valid point, but it was apparently missed by most people, including the media and, big surprise, the fundamentalist clergy, who recently fabricated a 'reply' from God.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silly fundamentalist
"This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here poof!" Friend said.
How utterly pathetic. Not only does he fail to look up the motive of the Senator, he feels compelled to fill in for his almighty god who's apparently unable to defend himself.

Watch me scribble a magical note from Odin and say it was delivered by two black ravens.

Quote:
[God's] response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction.
So God and Jesus could be pedophiles, rapists, homosexuals and flamboyant terrorists and it'd be totally OK to everyone. Right. I love Christian fundamentalists.

Edit: Waitaminute, just 'some' Earthly laws. OK, so they've caught our pedophile argument and now He's only allowed to call giant floods killing all but a handful of humans and crush cities with brimstone. I don't know where they pulled the 'some' part from, but I feel safer already.

Quote:
It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point. "I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend.
Yeah, I'm so lucky God included the will to rape and murder and beat other people up in the Free Will package, because without the Will to Rape, a fundamental human right, we'd be mindless zombies without a will of our own. Sure.

Quote:
There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said.
Pathetic.

Quote:
A second response from "God" disputing Chambers' allegations lists a phone number for a Corpus Christi law office. A message left for that office was not immediately returned Thursday.
I take it He does not take prayers anymore, then. Where should we send requests for help now, to the Salvation Army? Like, 'God C/O Salvation Army, Houston Chapter, this and that address'? Will be quite a change for the church-goers, sending e-mails instead of getting down on their knees.

Quote:
90% christian, so I'd say you're probably right, assuming that this issue is the sole consideration in the campaign.
It all too often is.


Last edited by Dagobahn Eagle; 09-21-2007 at 02:09 PM.
Dagobahn Eagle is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-22-2007, 12:07 AM   #15
Jae Onasi
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem
 
Jae Onasi's Avatar
 
Status: Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,916
Current Game: Guild Wars 2, VtMB, TOR
Alderaan News Holopics contributor Helpful! LucasCast staff Veteran Fan Fic Author 
Uh, DE, I think the 'reply' was supposed to be a joke. I read somewhere that they thought it might have been one of the lawyers who did it.


From MST3K's spoof of "Hercules Unchained"--heard as Roman medic soldiers carry off an unconscious Greek Hercules on a 1950's Army green canvas stretcher: "Hi, we're IX-I-I. Did somebody dial IX-I-I?"

Read The Adventures of Jolee Bindo and see the amazing Peep Surgery
Story WIP: The Dragonfighters
My blog: Confessions of a Geeky Mom--Latest post: Security Alerts!
Love Star Trek AND gaming? Check out Lotus Fleet.

Jae Onasi is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-25-2007, 08:53 PM   #16
Lathain Valtiel
Ex-Angel
 
Lathain Valtiel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 929
LFN Staff Member 
Remember though, CHRISTIANS ARE HUMORLESS ROBOTS HAHAHA.


Kurgan's Meatgrinder (JA Server: 72.5.248.212:29070)

Player tested, Valtiel approved.

Valtiel approved downloads for Meatgrinder: http://strategy.jediknight.net/jka/downloads.shtml
Lathain Valtiel is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-26-2007, 11:55 AM   #17
Jae Onasi
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem
 
Jae Onasi's Avatar
 
Status: Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,916
Current Game: Guild Wars 2, VtMB, TOR
Alderaan News Holopics contributor Helpful! LucasCast staff Veteran Fan Fic Author 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lathain Valtiel
Remember though, CHRISTIANS ARE HUMORLESS ROBOTS HAHAHA.
Oh, yeah, I forgot that part of the contract that I signed in blood that said I had to give up humor for Lent.


From MST3K's spoof of "Hercules Unchained"--heard as Roman medic soldiers carry off an unconscious Greek Hercules on a 1950's Army green canvas stretcher: "Hi, we're IX-I-I. Did somebody dial IX-I-I?"

Read The Adventures of Jolee Bindo and see the amazing Peep Surgery
Story WIP: The Dragonfighters
My blog: Confessions of a Geeky Mom--Latest post: Security Alerts!
Love Star Trek AND gaming? Check out Lotus Fleet.

Jae Onasi is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 10-16-2008, 01:08 AM   #18
Achilles
Dapper Chimp
 
Achilles's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 8,204
Helpful! Veteran Modder Forum Veteran 
Update

Quote:
"Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice," Polk wrote.

Chambers, who graduated from law school but never took the bar exam, thinks he's found a hole in the judge's ruling.

"The court itself acknowledges the existence of God," Chambers said Wednesday. "A consequence of that acknowledgment is a recognition of God's omniscience."

Therefore, Chambers said, "Since God knows everything, God has notice of this lawsuit."
Checkmate!
Achilles is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 10-18-2008, 07:37 PM   #19
Nedak
Beelzebozo
 
Nedak's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Seattle
Posts: 1,836
LucasCast Jingle Composer Forum Veteran Hot Topic Starter 
We should have god run for office as well.

HAH
Nedak is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 10-18-2008, 11:55 PM   #20
Achilles
Dapper Chimp
 
Achilles's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 8,204
Helpful! Veteran Modder Forum Veteran 
Who would swear him in and what would he put his hand on?
Achilles is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 10-20-2008, 06:05 AM   #21
Det. Bart Lasiter
obama.png
 
Det. Bart Lasiter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: `(.)~
Posts: 7,997
Current Game: all
Forum Veteran LF Jester 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Achilles View Post
Who would swear him in and what would he put his hand on?
Holy Ghost, science textbook.



"No, Mama. You can bet your sweet ass and half a titty whoever put that hit on you already got the cops in their back pocket." ~Black Dynamite
Det. Bart Lasiter is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 10-20-2008, 10:38 AM   #22
Achilles
Dapper Chimp
 
Achilles's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 8,204
Helpful! Veteran Modder Forum Veteran 
Makes sense to me.
Achilles is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Post a new thread. Add a reply to this thread. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Go Back   LucasForums > Network > JediKnight Series > Community > Senate Chambers > Nebraska state senator sues God

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:58 PM.

LFNetwork, LLC ©2002-2011 - All rights reserved.
Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.