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Old 11-04-2009, 02:38 PM   #1
SkywalkerRules
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You tell Me...

Why?

Why is my life feeling so down?
Why is it that every time I look up at the people I pass by,
tears fill up my eyes?

You tell Me.

I love my family and friends.
But... why do I feel the need to go away from them?
Is it because I feel distant or unwanted?

You tell Me.

My heart and soul feels heavy. I know what's comin'.
My head is filled with anger and sadness
that I can not stand.


You tell Me...

That we should live out our lives and live
to the fullest.

That Man need not to be in despair,
but have Hope and Faith for the Future.

Tell Me that our Generation should look to the sky
and lift up our voices with joy.
That we, as family, friends, and allies,
should wipe our tears and join in Unity together.

You tell Yourself that...

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Old 11-05-2009, 02:23 PM   #2
SkywalkerRules
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Aww, why isn't anyone responding? Was it something I said?
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Old 12-07-2009, 10:23 PM   #3
Rabish Bini
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Don't worry I find that not many people comment on poetry.

As for me, I actually really liked it, it wasn't a typical make everything rhyme and sound forced poem, and had emotion behind it.
You don't really need to work on much, but don't capitalize words like "hope", "me" and "generation". There's no need to and really shouldn't be.
In all though, very nice work, well done


Yes
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Old 12-08-2009, 05:56 PM   #4
Ping
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I can't believe I'm saying that I actually like the poetry. Ironically, I'm an extreme pessimist, and yet, I like this.


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Old 12-09-2009, 12:28 AM   #5
SkywalkerRules
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Thanks Rabish and Ping! Glad you loved it.

And I'll also keep that in mind, Rabish, about the capitalizing. Thanks so much!
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Old 03-23-2010, 01:47 PM   #6
JediMaster12
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Old 03-25-2010, 10:35 PM   #7
LordOfTheFish
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That was very good! It almost felt like a song.

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Old 03-26-2010, 01:39 PM   #8
SkywalkerRules
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LordOfTheFish View Post
That was very good! It almost felt like a song.
Thank you! I would say that my little sister is the real poet though, seeing that I love to do artwork. But this is actually from me. I guess it runs in our family.

Again, thanks. ^^
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