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Old 08-01-2011, 08:57 PM   #2121
Alkonium
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Granted, but it's so much in the vein of Portal that looking at the boxart drives you insane.

I wish for Dragon Age III to allow players to play as more than just humans.

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Old 08-03-2011, 07:07 PM   #2122
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Granted, however, they still replace Jennifer Hale with an obnoxious voice acrtess, and in turn you are blamed. When upset customers get together they decide to bury EA in S***, literally. You just so happen to be in the building at the same time this goes on. The building and the business both implode.

I wish to see a polar bear violently dismembered and its parts (along with a video recording of the incident) shipped and delivered to a peta convention.


We'll murder them all, amid laughter and merriment...except for the few we take home to experiment!

"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 08-03-2011, 07:31 PM   #2123
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Granted, however, PETA's true colours show and they love it.

@GTA: Good thing BioWare's head office isn't even in the same country as EA's then!

I wish for PETA to rename themselves PUTA (basically swap ethical for unethical).

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Old 08-03-2011, 11:27 PM   #2124
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Granted, unfortunately the similarity to the mexican word for "bitch" gives them an unexpected massive boost to popularity and EA's offices worldwide are $***-bombed.

I wish I could meet Tourettes Guy.


We'll murder them all, amid laughter and merriment...except for the few we take home to experiment!

"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 08-04-2011, 05:01 PM   #2125
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Granted. You do everytime you look at yourself in the mirror.

I wish Red would boot Beavis and Buttheads in the @ss, sending them to Jupiter or Pluto.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 08-04-2011, 06:18 PM   #2126
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Granted, but the wormhole necessary for something like that to happen won't close again.

I wish for the perfect opportunity to say "Where is your god now?".

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Old 08-04-2011, 10:43 PM   #2127
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Granted, The whole world got nuked, but you died before you could utter the words

I wish I had a Portal gun.




Quote:
Originally Posted by HockeyGoalie35 View Post
I wish I had some Combustable Lemons.

Quote:
Originally Posted by =purifier View Post
Granted, but you accidently get blown up with that lemony smell and the
Pine-Sol woman appears out of nowhere and says: "That's the power of Pine-Sol, baby. "
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Old 08-05-2011, 10:41 AM   #2128
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Granted, however you accident pop a portal on yourself, and it rips you apart.

I wish I had a pair of chainsaw spear gunchucks.

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Old 08-05-2011, 12:38 PM   #2129
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Granted, but in an unfortunate case of "butterfingers", you die in a bloody mess while demonstrating, ironically, how not to use them.

I wish that youth lasted longer.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 08-05-2011, 01:28 PM   #2130
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Granted. You can no longer give consent, have a beer, watch decent movies on the internet, drive a car, or vote. You can still be drafted into the military, though...

I wish I had at least eleven more wishes.



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Old 08-05-2011, 06:59 PM   #2131
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Granted, but now you have Twenty Two bad things befall you as interest for granting all your extra wishes in advance instead of one at a time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Totenkopf View Post
Granted. You do everytime you look at yourself in the mirror.
Allright then. You asked for it.
Show spoiler


Since I'm now Tourettes guy, I wish the garbage disposer sounded like Chewbacca taking a $***.


We'll murder them all, amid laughter and merriment...except for the few we take home to experiment!

"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 08-06-2011, 04:10 AM   #2132
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Granted, but now your garbage disposal smells like it too and when you turn it on... wookie caca all over the kitchen. Enjoy.

I wish I'd let someone else answer this post.

Quote:
Allright then. You asked for it.
So.....is that guy behind Bush the Tourettes guy?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 08-06-2011, 09:59 AM   #2133
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Granted. This is hockeygoalie35's friend.


He wishes that he had a blender.




Quote:
Originally Posted by HockeyGoalie35 View Post
I wish I had some Combustable Lemons.

Quote:
Originally Posted by =purifier View Post
Granted, but you accidently get blown up with that lemony smell and the
Pine-Sol woman appears out of nowhere and says: "That's the power of Pine-Sol, baby. "
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Old 08-11-2011, 02:15 PM   #2134
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Granted, he does, but he breaks the glass part and uses that and the spinning blade thing to maim unfortunate bastards all over your bedroom. I hope you like blood red for a paint job...along with bits and chunks of scalp and organs shred to ribbons.

I wish I made a lathe for metal out of a vacuum cleaner motor and several junk parts laying around and an audience with some beautiful women to watch my first demonstration of such an awesome makeshift device.


We'll murder them all, amid laughter and merriment...except for the few we take home to experiment!

"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 08-13-2011, 02:56 PM   #2135
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Granted, but it explodes, embeding itself into your ribcage.


I wish I had this on video.




Quote:
Originally Posted by HockeyGoalie35 View Post
I wish I had some Combustable Lemons.

Quote:
Originally Posted by =purifier View Post
Granted, but you accidently get blown up with that lemony smell and the
Pine-Sol woman appears out of nowhere and says: "That's the power of Pine-Sol, baby. "
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Old 08-13-2011, 04:39 PM   #2136
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^^^You get it on video, but are convicted later for negligence failure to assist in an emergency. While you avoid prison, you spend the next 50 years on probation and my family and friends come after you for the video.

I wish I had Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunn as neighbors.


We'll murder them all, amid laughter and merriment...except for the few we take home to experiment!

"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 08-13-2011, 09:31 PM   #2137
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Granted, and you live happily ever after.

I wish I never asked for the video




Quote:
Originally Posted by HockeyGoalie35 View Post
I wish I had some Combustable Lemons.

Quote:
Originally Posted by =purifier View Post
Granted, but you accidently get blown up with that lemony smell and the
Pine-Sol woman appears out of nowhere and says: "That's the power of Pine-Sol, baby. "
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Old 08-13-2011, 11:11 PM   #2138
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Granted, unfortunately this time around when the thing comes apart the piece meant for me merely knocks me over and breaks several ribs, and from that it is redirected and shatters both of your kneecaps. Now you have to deal with your legs and choose between being paraplegic or being in debt for titanium replacement knees after waiting 10 years anyways--from which you'll be in debt probably the rest of your life. Lots of luck!


I wish someone would drive a dumptruck into my friend's apartment since he hates that place.


We'll murder them all, amid laughter and merriment...except for the few we take home to experiment!

"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 08-14-2011, 12:25 AM   #2139
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Granted, but unfortunately now that his apartment has been destroyed, he has to live in the dump truck because he has nowhere else to go.





I wish there was a wishing well to wish upon.


SITH HAPPENS
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Old 08-14-2011, 01:50 AM   #2140
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Granted, but you realise that inside the well is just a text-to-speech synthesizer linked to this thread.

I wish I could teleport instantly to the location of my favourite author at any given moment of time.


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Old 08-14-2011, 02:46 PM   #2141
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Granted, but you can only teleport to them when they are on the toilet, and you teleport directly below them.

I wish i had some combustible lemons.




Quote:
Originally Posted by HockeyGoalie35 View Post
I wish I had some Combustable Lemons.

Quote:
Originally Posted by =purifier View Post
Granted, but you accidently get blown up with that lemony smell and the
Pine-Sol woman appears out of nowhere and says: "That's the power of Pine-Sol, baby. "
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Old 08-14-2011, 03:33 PM   #2142
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Granted, but you accidently get blown up with that lemony smell and the
Pine-Sol woman appears out of nowhere and says: "That's the power of Pine-Sol, baby."







I wish HG35 had chosen less combustible fruit instead.


SITH HAPPENS
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Old 08-17-2011, 12:16 AM   #2143
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Granted, unfortunately, it's 85 metric tons of rotten fruit all dumped on your house.

Quote:
Originally Posted by purifier View Post
Granted, but unfortunately now that his apartment has been destroyed, he has to live in the dump truck because he has nowhere else to go.
You have no idea of the hell just unleashed.


I wish Alan Grayson and Ed Schultz would team up and fight Bill Goldberg, so I can bet all my favorite dead horasiez on the guys.


We'll murder them all, amid laughter and merriment...except for the few we take home to experiment!

"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 08-17-2011, 10:33 AM   #2144
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Granted, but you accidentally place your bets in favor of schultz/grayson b/c of a distraction courtesy of your neighbors Lloyd and Harry. When Goldberg finds out, he destroys you like he did the other two pansies. Fortunately for you, you die a happy man knowing he got them first.

I wish I bought a bunch of gold back in the 90s when it was still around $300/oz.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 08-17-2011, 11:18 AM   #2145
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Granted, but you sold it at its lowest point.


I wish I remembered what I wanted to wish for...




Quote:
Originally Posted by HockeyGoalie35 View Post
I wish I had some Combustable Lemons.

Quote:
Originally Posted by =purifier View Post
Granted, but you accidently get blown up with that lemony smell and the
Pine-Sol woman appears out of nowhere and says: "That's the power of Pine-Sol, baby. "
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Old 08-18-2011, 01:11 AM   #2146
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Granted, you remember what it was and wish for it and get it unfortunately you also remember why you wanted to forget it and forget to wish for it in the first place.

I wish the whole Vice City thing were real.


We'll murder them all, amid laughter and merriment...except for the few we take home to experiment!

"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 08-18-2011, 04:14 AM   #2147
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Granted, but you're one of Tommy Vercetti's first victims. He even takes you out by crossing genres and hiring Red Foreman to put a boot up your @ss before putting it through your head. Say g'night, Gracie.

I wish LF would close down and get itself fixed properly instead of having all those continuous "minor" issues.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 08-18-2011, 09:15 AM   #2148
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Granted, but it takes 5 years to completely be fixed.

I wish I had a bread slicer.




Quote:
Originally Posted by HockeyGoalie35 View Post
I wish I had some Combustable Lemons.

Quote:
Originally Posted by =purifier View Post
Granted, but you accidently get blown up with that lemony smell and the
Pine-Sol woman appears out of nowhere and says: "That's the power of Pine-Sol, baby. "
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Old 08-18-2011, 09:16 AM   #2149
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Granted, but you have no bread to slice with it.

I wish humans had a viable form of FTL travel.

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Old 08-27-2011, 05:28 PM   #2150
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Granted: They do but it has a 75% likelihood the travelers will die.

I wish Mayor Bloomberg would puke all over himself and go die in someone's locker.


We'll murder them all, amid laughter and merriment...except for the few we take home to experiment!

"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 09-25-2011, 08:35 PM   #2151
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Granted: That locker is your own.

I wish that I had the power. (He man reference)


Savior, conqueror, hero, villain. You are all things Revan... and yet you are nothing. In the end you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone."
―Darth Malak
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Old 09-25-2011, 10:16 PM   #2152
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Granted, you have the power to die simply by thinking about dying.

I wish it was 11-11-11 already.

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Old 09-29-2011, 05:55 PM   #2153
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Granted. Time skips for you. Unfortunately you miss out on some hot orgy at your place on Halloween.

I wish I was one of the 10 people who will get this lightsaber:
View page
YouTube Video


We'll murder them all, amid laughter and merriment...except for the few we take home to experiment!

"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 09-30-2011, 12:06 AM   #2154
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Granted, but you are later relieved of it and brought up on charges of possessing stolen property. Well, what did you expect when you got it from Lloyd and Harry....

I wish movies looked more like movies and not tv when watching them on a hi-def 1080p tv.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 10-02-2011, 11:27 PM   #2155
Darth Avlectus
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Granted but production costs are driven up so much nobody can afford them. Your 1080i hi def TV that you paid through the nose for is now almost completely useless in the ensuing crash.

I wish it started raining dead animals, literally, all over north America.


We'll murder them all, amid laughter and merriment...except for the few we take home to experiment!

"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 10-03-2011, 02:41 AM   #2156
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Granted, it does and you are promptly blamed and burned at the stake for modern day witchcraft. Would you like some fries with that.....

I wish Torettes Guy would get a new gimmick.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 10-03-2011, 03:08 AM   #2157
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Granted: Tourettes guy gets a new gimmick but it isn't all that different from what he did before. Unfortunately this also is at your expense.

I wish Tourettes Guy would come to your town next to cause trouble.


We'll murder them all, amid laughter and merriment...except for the few we take home to experiment!

"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 12-04-2011, 03:03 PM   #2158
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Granted, but everyone just ignores him.

I wish Jersey Shore was cancelled.

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Old 12-04-2011, 04:11 PM   #2159
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Granted, but it's replaced by some abomination called The Snooky Situation and you are put to death for inflicting this on everyone.

I wish my own indestructible Death Star that no one else could control (nor could they control me, either).


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 12-04-2011, 10:16 PM   #2160
Hallucination
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Granted, but the only controls to fire it are local, and the shields that make it indestructible? They cause major heat issues. Don't worry though, the Death Star can handle the heat. The occupants are another story. . .

I wish I didn't know Totenkopf misspelled "Snooki".


Let's kill ourselves.
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