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Old 05-31-2012, 09:30 PM   #3681
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Chuck Norris tries and fails to do all the things the internet thinks he can do.

Shouldn't Gotye be over his ex by now?

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Old 06-02-2012, 01:26 AM   #3682
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Yes because animals that roll in the dirt need a friend.

Should I take advantage of the blowout sale going on at NCIX right now prior to E3, despite being close to the threshold of what I consider acceptable ratio of debt to carry on a card? (20%)


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Old 06-02-2012, 07:16 AM   #3683
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Yes, debt is your friend, b/c you can never owe too much money (just ask your Uncle Sam).

Is Lloyd Christmas Santa's bastard stepchild?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 06-03-2012, 12:26 AM   #3684
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Difficult to say. His name has no bearing on the situation.

Wouldn't that just mean that he was Mrs. Claus's bastard?

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Old 06-05-2012, 05:57 PM   #3685
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No, I think he's someone else's bastard child.


Why is pranking someone (chuckles the cheat style) a bad idea?


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 11-09-2012, 11:25 AM   #3686
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Presumably because someone's going to get hurt.

Are British-made fire extinguishers inherently more flammable?

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Old 11-09-2012, 09:48 PM   #3687
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That's a good question...I looked it up...Not from what I could tell. Neutral?
(seriously props--and if you have any more brain twisters I could use the distraction from all the after voting political douchenozzlery)


Is "safe" sailing a surefire way to get where you're going?


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 11-17-2012, 12:52 AM   #3688
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Only when on land.

If I ask a stupid question, will I really get a stupid answer?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 11-17-2012, 04:24 AM   #3689
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Most of the time. In this case, you'll get another stupid question.

Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
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Old 11-25-2012, 10:01 AM   #3690
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Call it symbolism.

What do Flammable and Inflammable mean the same thing?

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Old 11-29-2012, 06:48 PM   #3691
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No because... un-ignited.
(F*** YOU SYNONYMS! Damn dictionary. )


If a transistor is bipolar, does that mean it's edgy?


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 07-30-2013, 11:37 PM   #3692
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I guess so.

Is it fair to expect Beliebers to do unspeakable things to Justin Bieber's corpse following his death?

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Old 07-31-2013, 03:17 AM   #3693
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Depends on whether they're using Selena Gomez to do it.

If Miss RApier has rejected you, does that mean it was b/c you were a bipolar edgy transistor?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 08-05-2013, 05:20 AM   #3694
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Your point?
 
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Nah. Bipolars blow themselves out too easily. Layer Rapier prefers those with a cooler headed approach to life's problems.


According to the problem solving flowsheet, I have to ask: "Did you mess with it?"


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 08-10-2013, 10:06 PM   #3695
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According to the problem causing flowsheet, I have to answer: "No, but your momma did."


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 08-11-2013, 12:24 AM   #3696
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And You forgot to ask a stupid question so...


If we were talking about a wrestler modeled vaguely after a SW villain, what time would it be?


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 08-11-2013, 01:55 AM   #3697
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Time to get rid of your blowup doll and get a real girlfriend.

What will DA do if someone forgets to ask another question?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 08-11-2013, 09:35 AM   #3698
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Slap them, most likely.

Is it wrong to say I expect Justin Bieber to die young and stupid?

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Old 08-11-2013, 10:34 PM   #3699
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Is the Pope Jewish? The dalai lama a muslim? Can you fart the pledge of allegiance out in the key of G?

What the hell is a matter w/this thread?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 08-12-2013, 02:11 AM   #3700
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Nothing at all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Totenkopf View Post
Is the Pope Jewish? The dalai lama a muslim? Can you fart the pledge of allegiance out in the key of G?
I'm going to say maybe on that last one.

When quitting a job you hate, how much of the building should you vandalize?

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Old 08-13-2013, 09:48 PM   #3701
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Anything and everything you can get away with. And don't look back...and maybe add a "Li'l something" somewhere, seat, heater vent, in the garbage can *under* the trash bag.

Preempting quitting that same job: Would it be a fair idea to "contribute" to a health code violation for which a friend randomly visits that building at some unspecified time on seemingly legit business, and anonymously reports it to the local authorities?


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:46 AM   #3702
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It's a good idea, but I'd hardly call it fair.

Under what circumstances is it possible for a doctor to accidentally shoot a patient in the head during an operation?

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Old 11-04-2013, 04:24 AM   #3703
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Unusual ones. Though I think it begs the question "Shoot with what implements?" to correctly address.


Why do they sand the paper in sandpaper?


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 11-04-2013, 01:54 PM   #3704
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So artists can get a grant and create fake beaches along concrete boardwalks.

Why won't Alk share his internetz?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 11-04-2013, 07:32 PM   #3705
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Because he's grows from internets and must have more internets to grow bigger...and bigger...and bigger........




Do gun manuals have trouble shooting sections?


SITH HAPPENS
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Old 11-04-2013, 07:43 PM   #3706
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Yes, but you need a second gun for it.

Where can one find the countries of Svitz, Luftnarp, and Franchia on a map of Europe?

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Old 11-28-2013, 04:41 AM   #3707
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In Cecil's head.

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?


Motion with no sound
Ice inside the fire
The stillness in the storm
Silence hides the sniper

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Old 11-28-2013, 10:12 AM   #3708
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Purple, most likely.

Is dead a colour?

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Old 06-07-2014, 05:21 PM   #3709
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Depends on what kind of death we're talking about.

If I go by, then two go by, whose thigh is what?


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 06-07-2014, 11:55 PM   #3710
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Chickenbutt.

Why ask why when you can just go in a corner and die?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 06-10-2014, 03:00 AM   #3711
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I'll have to give you a raincheck on that cow launcher.


Who lives in a two story Doritos bag, has a glass tit with a screw-on nipple and has a wooden leg with a bird house in it?


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 06-11-2014, 01:06 AM   #3712
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Obama. Seems everything is possible w/him.....(sniff, sneeze, inhale, cough raggedly....)

If he cant see ****......how's he ever gonna find hell?


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 06-19-2014, 11:08 PM   #3713
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With great difficulty.

What's the best way to juice a crab for Crab Juice?

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