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View Poll Results: Why are there no monkeys in North America?
Monkeys are communists who fear democracy. 0 0%
Native Americans ate them long ago. Mmmmm...that's good monkey! 0 0%
Christopher Columbus scared them away. 0 0%
Martha Stewart scared them away. 3 0.00%
Monkeys are holographically projected by a short range emitter on the other side of the world. 3 0.00%
Monkey pox. 4 0.00%
Monkeys have all been deported by the US Dept. of Homeland Insecurity. 50 0.00%
They tried to go to Britain to be with Feral (the world's greatest person), but got lost along the way. 999,998 50.00%
DJG 999,999 50.00%
Voters: 2000057. You may not vote on this poll


Thread: Why are there no monkeys in North America?
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Old 07-07-2003, 06:04 AM   #1
Zoom Rabbit
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Question Why are there no monkeys in North America?

This is a question that has always bothered me. I don't know why. Perhaps the answer was figured out by science decades ago and put to rest in dusty books, or perhaps we have no idea to this day. Just for the sake of resolving the matter amongst ourselves, I've posted this poll to put the matter to a vote.

Vote on natural science? Sure. Why not?


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Old 07-07-2003, 07:57 AM   #2
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Exclamation *Burp*

I ate them.


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Old 07-07-2003, 09:25 AM   #3
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Methinks that they are smart enough to live somewhere else,.. but since that's not an option on the poll, I'll have to go with Martha Stewart.


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Old 07-07-2003, 09:47 AM   #4
Ray Jones
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i would say there are no monkey coz everybody i a dj now named DJG.

but since this is not in the poll.. i think there only can be no monkeys in reason for holographic SREmitter issues.


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Old 07-07-2003, 02:11 PM   #5
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....there ARE monkeys, they just blend in really well with all the other large hairy backed gorillas in McDonalds!!1
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Old 07-07-2003, 06:47 PM   #6
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Considering none of the options are going to reach a suitable conclusion to the question, I can see no real point in this thread whatsoever.

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Old 07-09-2003, 02:45 PM   #7
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Opened, on the basis that it's no worse than most of the shiz here in the Harbour.


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Old 07-09-2003, 03:41 PM   #8
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Hey..


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Old 07-09-2003, 04:13 PM   #9
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I think this thread was closed cause its a thread that spams your computer.
If you spam your computer too much you'll come across the same problem this guy has:


But I guess good spam threads keep the forums alive.
*Sigh* It would be nice to have another one of those spamfest fun really really active days again....Maybe I should post a thread debating when this 1/2 yearly day should come? it could be a Harbour Holiday.

Feh, I'm voting for the Mcdonalds one.


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Old 07-09-2003, 04:19 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by The Feral Chicken
Opened, on the basis that it's no worse than most of the shiz here in the Harbour.
That's all we were saying...

Thank you.


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Old 07-09-2003, 05:17 PM   #11
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Wow, there are like three million people who think they went to visit Feral but got lost. Hmm. My vote for monkey pox is rather lost in that swarm.....


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Old 07-09-2003, 05:21 PM   #12
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The reason that there aren't any monkeys in northern america is that they're all dressed in suits and occupy that ****ed up government of the USA. That way nobody recognizes them.


010110110101101010
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Old 07-09-2003, 05:22 PM   #13
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Obfuscation Organization - 2

Holograms.


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Old 07-09-2003, 05:28 PM   #14
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www.davidicke.com ALWAYS has the answer....good old David!!!
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Old 07-09-2003, 05:53 PM   #15
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Exclamation Bright eyes

Roy is a lizard man! I've been saying it all along, haven't I?

Personally, it's my opinion that native americans probably ate them all centuries ago. Everyone knows that primates are good eating...

Thank you nice chicken man! We see here that the feedback process can yield positive results if followed properly.


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Old 07-09-2003, 06:08 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit
Roy is a lizard man! I've been saying it all along, haven't I?

Quote:

Thank you nice chicken man! We see here that the feedback process can yield positive results if followed properly.

*coughcough*


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Old 07-09-2003, 06:12 PM   #17
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Ray, where is BC, and why are you back there at the moment? (Das style mass confusion)
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Old 07-09-2003, 06:23 PM   #18
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berlin city ..

why hmmm. .. the only thing i know is something about:

a palmtree.
napalm harvest.
a bomb.
and SPAM..


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Old 07-09-2003, 06:34 PM   #19
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Berlin...hmmmm....you cant be German though Ray.....Ray Jones is about as German Sounding as....err......something not at all German sounding.....

....not that Roy Tordes sounds Welsh mind you......I'm changing my name to Rhys Leekpants imediately
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Old 07-09-2003, 06:48 PM   #20
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sounds like Ray Glownes ..


nah. what is not german on it?

just say it like: Righ Eeoness ..


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Old 07-09-2003, 08:09 PM   #21
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Cool Guy German wine

If he were French, he would be Righ Shone.

Zoom Rabbit sounds American. Americans are well known for their love of acceleration, and rabbits are just fine as far as we're concerned. The last thing I would be is French, though, because then my name would have to be Lapin rapid...and nobody wants that.



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Old 07-09-2003, 08:54 PM   #22
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If you where to translate Kj°len into Japanese, it would be Sukato.
That's why I'm going to be called Sukato Kj°len.
Oh, and translated into English from Japanese and Swedish that would be "Skirt Skirt". XD
But I originally meant for it to be Norwegian so if translated from Japanese and Norwegian to English it would be "Skirt Keel"


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Old 07-10-2003, 05:23 AM   #23
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You're named 'Skirt?' You old little person...

All this time I didn't appreciate how fully weird you are!
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Old 07-10-2003, 06:50 AM   #24
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I love the margin of error on these boards. Apparently, 100% of the people voting got lost looking for Feral, despite the fact that people voted for other things.

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Old 07-10-2003, 09:18 AM   #25
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Lol, there are 3.5 million votes for the feral option. Nice work, whoever did it



Congratulations, you just survived another sig!
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Old 07-10-2003, 12:06 PM   #26
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Well, since Feral is the world's greatest person, and all the monkeys know it (well, at least the ones that ended up in Britian!), they all went and got their owners to come vote here, out of love for Feral! Simple. ^_^

As a result, we know that there are exactly 999999 monkey owners in Great Britian!

I have no idea what to do with this bit of information...but I'm sure Zoomie can think of something.


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Old 07-10-2003, 04:48 PM   #27
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Lightbulb Quadroplegiac love

1. Helper monkeys for the British upper class (it would be a smashing good time, what?)

2. Issue them bayonets and decks of 'Iraq's most wanted' playing cards, then turn them loose in Baghdad.

3. Shoot them all on live teevee as performance art.

(Note--someone hacked the poll again, this time giving equal blame to the US Dept. of Homeland Insecurity. I love it!)
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Old 07-10-2003, 05:12 PM   #28
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Quote:
2. Issue them bayonets and decks of 'Iraq's most wanted' playing cards, then turn them loose in Baghdad.
we should spread them .. some towards kabul ..

and some for our tv-shows StarSearch, Popstars, Deutschland sucht den Superstar ( What??) .. and two h*rny gorillas for the Love Parade..! for the ectasyh*rny girls ..



*voice from nowherecough, Ray.. (offtopic)*

neil, there are actually people returny to this thread for ever and ever and ever .. you included.

*wears button: 'i break for chickens.'*


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Old 07-11-2003, 06:40 AM   #29
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Just a note, I didn't close this, someone else did. (I closed it the first time, but not after feral reopened it)

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