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Old 09-05-2003, 08:32 PM   #1
Das Mole
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Thumbs up the 1,000,001 uses

okay, since zoom brought up duct tape and the fact that it has 1,000,001 uses, i figure that i'm gonna try and go for it. or rather, we will go for it. in this thread, we're going to list the 1,000,001 uses for duct tape. try to only post 1 use per post as well as only post the use, and nothing else that would be called "extraneous". do them in order and number them, so don't go from #1 to #287,643 or something, no random order.

so i'll start w/use #1, here:

1. duct tape can be used to duct tape your windows and other miscellaneous items around the house in the case of a terrorist attack.
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Old 09-05-2003, 08:37 PM   #2
Ray Jones
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#2

you can seal your shoes with duct tape.


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Old 09-05-2003, 08:52 PM   #3
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oh geez, i hate threads like this.



#3 you can make a prom dress out of it
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Old 09-05-2003, 09:04 PM   #4
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#4. You can find out why Ike is in a thread like this with it... somehow......... you know........... i still don't know how to use it though but i'm sure there's a way..................... O.O

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Old 09-05-2003, 09:35 PM   #5
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Cool Guy Flipper

What were the rules, again...?

*(Duct tapes himself to a wild zebra and gives it angel dust.)*
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Old 09-05-2003, 09:53 PM   #6
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pssst. zoom.. you forgot the number..


#6

you can duct tape numbers everywhere you want..



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Old 09-05-2003, 10:05 PM   #7
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7 hanging folk you just plain dont like



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Old 09-05-2003, 10:14 PM   #8
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#8 you can duct tape someones face to their own ass.


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Old 09-06-2003, 12:37 AM   #9
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#9 Stick a thread :P

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Old 09-06-2003, 01:15 AM   #10
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10) One of the ingrediants to the SUper Adhesive.
(Super Glue, Duct Tape, and inustrial staples.)

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Old 09-06-2003, 01:49 AM   #11
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#11

Taping breasts together to at least hinder jiggly action...

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Old 09-06-2003, 02:23 AM   #12
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#12 can be used to tie people to ceiling fan and then turning on the fan for your amusement.
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Old 09-06-2003, 07:05 AM   #13
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Lightbulb Lucky #13

God uses duct tape on the quantum level to attract quarks to one another and bind them into cohesive reality.

Prove me wrong, eh?
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Old 09-06-2003, 10:18 AM   #14
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#14 Tape Zoomie's 'over-thoughted' mouth shut!

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Old 09-06-2003, 11:50 AM   #15
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#15. You can use it to fix your bra after your 34DDs break free and in the process ruin the clasp.


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Old 09-06-2003, 11:45 PM   #16
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#16 Duct tape can be used a a method of birth control. You figure it out.


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Old 09-07-2003, 01:49 AM   #17
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Duct tape failed to keep the last three girls from escaping my basement, so that's NOT a use.


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Old 09-07-2003, 02:42 AM   #18
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That's 'cuz you're supposed to use it on THEM,.. not yourself!


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Old 09-07-2003, 04:40 AM   #19
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Lightbulb Safety first

#17: Duct tape across large, freshly-cleaned windows is a visual cue to birds that there is a barrier there and they can't fly into your living room after all.

#18: Duct tape is a quick but painful method of removing body hair.

#19: Going back in time and telling Skookarkee's dad about #16 can prevent much grief in the present.

Okay, that last one didn't count...


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Old 09-07-2003, 06:37 AM   #20
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Maybe not for him but I'm surwe we can insert just about any ones name in there.


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Old 09-07-2003, 06:00 PM   #21
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#20 duct tape underwear...


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Old 09-07-2003, 06:07 PM   #22
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#21: fix loose electrical connections.

(You know, in case they go running around or something ^^;;; )


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Old 09-07-2003, 08:58 PM   #23
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"they called him WALLEY, WALLEY, the friendly dolphin .. "

#22
you can build a spidernet with it

#23
helpful for repairing a slightly broken bong..
(*looks* err.. a friend told me of his accident.. i told him "good.. you just found a new use for the duct tape.." )




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Old 09-07-2003, 09:51 PM   #24
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Well, A *friend* told me that his efforts to develop a way of removing pot seeds from smokeable stash using duct tape have to date gone nowhere...

He was bored.
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Old 09-07-2003, 11:21 PM   #25
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Your "friend" is right. EVERYTHING sticks to it.


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Old 09-07-2003, 11:42 PM   #26
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well, guys, this is kind of weird...but i was at borders yesterday and i was looking through the humor section. i found a book titled "the jumbo duct tape book", and it's all about duct tape and gives a whole crapload of its uses. so i'll go through here and little by little i'll rattle off the whole book as people respond to this thread. here's the first one:

#24. learn spanish! on your next trip to mexico, bring a case of duct tape with you. anyone will gladly give you at least a month's room and board and your own private spanish lessons for your kind gift of duct tape.
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Old 09-08-2003, 08:17 PM   #27
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Re: Science

Quote:
Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit
.. removing pot seeds from smokeable stash using duct tape ..
*cries*

why oh why are people doing this to the poor poor wead ..
i mean the best way to get rid of it is *coughcough*
the second best way is .. tell your mom about it..

#25

you can use duct tape to post a thread about its uses.


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Old 09-08-2003, 08:33 PM   #28
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#26. fastener fastener. when repairing anything, place the temporarily removed screws, bolts, nuts, and washers on a strip of duct tape so you don't lose them.
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Old 09-08-2003, 08:42 PM   #29
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27 - You can tape your car together (it worked for me!!)


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Old 09-08-2003, 08:48 PM   #30
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#28. don't lose your marbles (see number 26). this method can also be used to prevent yourself from losing your marbles as well.
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Old 09-09-2003, 01:36 AM   #31
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29 - Hold together sticks of dynamite placed within Lynk's computer for when he goes to hit the power on button (in order to give him a bang outta his computer)


Alright, alright. Let's just calm down and settle this over a nice cyanide pill eating contest, you go first.
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Old 09-09-2003, 06:02 AM   #32
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#30

duct tape a power button so that it cant be pressed..


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Old 09-09-2003, 08:36 AM   #33
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Cool Guy Fan story

#31: Use duct tape to seal closed an annoying range ventilator door with a busted catch (replacement part must be special ordered from Sweden) that springs open and runs a noisy fan in your land yacht that demonically resists more sophisticated efforts at repair.

Some of these I'm not making up. If it's broke...tape the bitch.
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Old 09-10-2003, 12:21 AM   #34
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#32. volcanic eruption protection. to protect yourself from the heat and any stray lava splashes, make sure you are covered with at least 10 layers of duct tape. a shield of sticky-side-out duct tape held in front of you will attract all that volcanic ash, allowing you to breathe freely as you flee town.
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Old 09-10-2003, 02:25 AM   #35
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Arrow Torch boy

I see one problem with that use of duct tape: isn't duct tape flammable?

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Old 09-10-2003, 05:05 AM   #36
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#33 - Use it to duct tape a warning sign to the idiot wearing duct tape as volcano safety.


Alright, alright. Let's just calm down and settle this over a nice cyanide pill eating contest, you go first.
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Old 09-10-2003, 07:07 AM   #37
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Lightbulb Spider strip

#34: If you're the Green Goblin, you can duct tape the outside walls of your lair. Climb that, Spidey!

#35: Martha Stewart's favorite sex toy.

#36: Fixing the O-rings on the solid rocket boosters of a multi-million dollar spaceshuttle.

#37: Fixing NASA.
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Old 09-10-2003, 07:51 AM   #38
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#38 removing unsightly hair
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Old 09-10-2003, 08:55 PM   #39
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#39. ladies: fix that problem once and for all. duct tape the toilet seat down!
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Old 09-14-2003, 01:25 AM   #40
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#40 Any limbs you lose may be repaired XD


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