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Old 12-12-2003, 08:02 PM   #41
Redwing
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Rwos: The North Pole...that can only mean one thing. Santa Claus really does exist!

*Gilian appears behind the group in a flash of blue light*

Gilian: Rwos! I have something important to tell you!

Rwos: Then there's only one thing to do...we must go to the North Pole and stop Reletha, Lokpihet and their evil minions before---

Gilian: Rwos, stop godmoding. I hadn't even said anything yet.

Rwos: Oh, sorry.

Gilian: Now to business - I have received reports that Reletha, Lokpihet, and some unidentified evil minions (probably all named "Irvine") have been sighted heading for the North Pole. We must stop them before they steal Christmas!

Rwos: To the Cantinamobile! Let's go!


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Old 12-12-2003, 08:26 PM   #42
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RH Irvine *To gillain and Rwos* "Ahem!? I'm standing right here!"
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Old 12-13-2003, 12:33 PM   #43
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Deac: We have a Cantina mobile?

*Syrnl pulls up in a flashy soprts car*

Syrnl: Hey Deac! See what the music industry can do!

*Everyone crams in*

Syrnl:Easy on the paintwork...I've only got ONE PAYMENT LEFT

Passing Cop: And I've only one day 'till retirement!

*Drops dead*

Deac: TO the Pole!

--------------------------------------------

North Pole

*Reletha walks in, dragging Dick Clark*

Reletha: See! Now let's see who the earth Hero comes to rescue first!

Minion: Uh.....Mr Goldfinger called. He's currently being foiled by Mr Bond so we'll have to find another hero to stop us.

Lokpihet: Is Buffy free? *Begins primping*

Minion: Sorry, also booked. It's a busy time of year.

Reletha: The A-Team?

Minion: Well, I think Mr T might be able to...

*The Darkstars shake their heads*

Lokpihet: It seems no one can stop us now!


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Old 12-13-2003, 06:55 PM   #44
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Fused Irvine "Cue the suspenceful music."

*on the other side of the room a large red certain opens revealing a 50 piece orchistra, which then plays a rich: "Dum Dum DUUUMM!!!", in instrumental ^^*

Fused Irvine "Wait a minute, you sound a little dissappointed."

*Dum dum DUUUUUMMM!*

Fused Irvine "Funny once, not twice."

*Dum dum DUUUMMM!!!*

Fused Irvine *thinking* 'Damnit, who's idea was it for those to get here? I'm just not going to say anything and wiat for them to answer.'

*Dum dum DUUMMM!!*

Fused Irvine "STOP IT!! I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!!"
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Old 12-14-2003, 07:56 PM   #45
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*Flax finally exchanges money for a room key and he and Sophae fairly fly up the stairs.*


Fly Fast,
Shoot Straight,
Live Long!
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Old 12-16-2003, 04:53 PM   #46
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*Syrnl puts on his tape player*

Syrnl: It's a long way...

Hey! Check this out!

Send your stormtrooper a card,
He's been with the Ewoks on Endor,
The Ewok's think they're hard!
I'm gonna be their death vendor!

*Syrnl plays GODLike once again. Using the darkside creates great metal music*

Lying at my feet
Is a pile of furry meat
Hacked up by my saber!
In the style of Vader!
DISMEMBERED EWOKS!!!

They smashed up the walkers!
Knocked 'em down!
Made them look like a clown!
Here comes some rage from my daughter!

*Reletha begins to shout from her keyboard*

My daddy's right!
Those ewoks'll pay!
I'll knack 'em in a fight!
And dismember them TODAY!

Lying at my feet
Is a pile of furry meat
Hacked up by my saber!
In the style of Vader!
DISMEMBERED EWOKS!!!

*Syrnl takes back over*

Thanks Reletha!

Now those little kids,
They think they're cute!
I think they're pointless
And evil as Viceroy Nute!

Lying at my feet
Is a pile of furry meat
Hacked up by my saber!
In the style of Vader!
DISMEMBERED EWOKS!!!
Yeah!

*The tape ends* [Yes, I went all the way back to find that!]

Syrnl: Great, huh? Live version

Deac: Are we there yet?!


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Old 12-16-2003, 05:05 PM   #47
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RH Irvine "I've heard better" *begins to hum Duel of the Fates*
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Old 12-16-2003, 05:08 PM   #48
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*Odin and the other Aesir wander around*

Odin: This is boring, we need more suspense. I know.

*snapping his fingers. A giant meteor suddenly appears in the sky*

Odin: Nothing like a world ending event to create more drama.

*Vidar appears*

Vidar: HOw about some superstorms over that useless country France.

*Snaps fingers, France is destroyed, the world begins to cheer*

Vidar: Not exactly what I wanted.
--------------------------
Asgard: Valhalla

*Heimdall wakes up and goes down stairs. He quickly finds out that his family left him behind.

He orders a pizza, grabs some mead, and sits down to watch some movies.*


"Dulce bellum inexpertis."

Official Forum Expert on Norse Mythology
As Odin says in the Hovamal:
"Praise no day 'til evening; no wife 'til on her pyre; no sword 'til tested;
no maid 'til bedded; no ice 'til crossed;
no ale 'til drunk."
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Old 12-16-2003, 08:29 PM   #49
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*Time skip 1 hour.*

Flax: We're late for the adventure!

Sophae: Come back to bed.

Flax: Where's my belt? Where's my blaster?

Sophae: Fine! I don't see why we can't sit this one out.

Flax: I need the money to pay off Kal's gambling depts.

Sophae: WHAT!!!???

Flax: After you died he went off the rails.

Sophae: Wait till I get a hold of him!

Flax: Calm down, its only a couple of millian credits.

Sophae: Get dressed. *Chucks his clothes at him.*


Fly Fast,
Shoot Straight,
Live Long!
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Old 12-17-2003, 03:04 PM   #50
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*Kaildor is still kicking hippys, untill....*
Kaildor: wow! A sleigh! And rendier!
*kicks shop window in and sits in sleigh*
Kaildor: away!
[timeskip that appiles to me alone as im late in posting putting me on sinc with everyone else]
Kaildor: Away damn it!! aw screw this!
*calls for taxi*
Kaildor: to north pole, and fast!

[ que batman music]



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Old 12-17-2003, 07:57 PM   #51
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*Many hours later. The car pulls up at the North Pole*

Syrnl: Oh...I only had three tracks to go! Oh well

Deac: To the Workshop!


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Old 12-18-2003, 07:38 PM   #52
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*Meanwhile Flax and Sophae are stuck on the M25.*

*The LP of Bat Out Of Hell is playing you the umptieth time.*

Flax: Hay, I didn't have enough money for two tapes

*Ejects the tape.*

Flax: See if you can get any good stations.

Sophae: Anything's better than your taste in music.

*SCAN finds Radio 1.*

Flax: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!


Fly Fast,
Shoot Straight,
Live Long!
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Old 12-18-2003, 09:52 PM   #53
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*RH Irvine walks out of the car, dazed and confused. Drool hanging form his lower lip, and looking quite zombified.* (())

*Outside stood a few ice statues, standing approx 3 stores tall, of the likeness of those behind the incident.*
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Old 12-19-2003, 05:34 PM   #54
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*Deac barges straight into the workshop and runs over to Santa*

Deac: You're real!

Father Christmas: Of course I am. I just have every parent tell their children I don't exist so I don't get found out. But Lokpihet's been planning this for a long time. He gloated, and told me that he formed Lokpicorp to dominate the toy market and put me out of business!

Syrnl: The fiend! I'm so proud!


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Old 12-20-2003, 06:40 AM   #55
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Rwos: Syrnl! Aren't you supposed to be good? Where is Lokpihet, anyway?

Gilian: Oh, look, it's Santa! *She walks over and slaps him* That was for all the presents you never gave me when I was growing up! Creep.


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Old 12-20-2003, 01:44 PM   #56
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Father Christmas: Look, I can only handle one planet. If I didn't get to you, blame your regional child gift giving personification. Now untie me!

*Deac does so*

Deac: So where are they?

*Reletha appears in a large robotic animal, whilst Lokpihet appears wearing a suit and sunglasses*

Lokpihet: Right. Deac, you will fight me whilst spoofing the Matrix, MR Starkiller...

Reletha: And Orthos, you will fight me in the style of popular Japanese animation! *Lines start coming off Reletha*

Syrnl: Spoofs...gotta love em!


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Old 12-20-2003, 03:26 PM   #57
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*In Fused Irvine*

Fused Irvine "Um, yeah, I guess the rest of you can fight me in...."

*Fused Irvine sees Deac and Lokpihet Kung Fu fighting, and Reletha and Orthos yelling ans screaming at eather other in attempt to get more powerful.*

((Sry thought it might be funny))

Fused Irvine "DAMNIT! Why are all the good stuff already taken? Oooh! I know!!!"

*The view of the rest of the characters swurls and ends up in an altered form of the current reality, the world seems like a huge block with pixelated backgrounds. The Characters are remodeled in a low polycounted sprites. All at the same time a sort of suspenceful music can be heard from all around, seemingly coming from no where.*

*The characters are lined up, with Fused Irvine facing them, none to move until their designated times.*

RH Irvine "What the hell!?"

^__^

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Old 12-21-2003, 06:41 PM   #58
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*Lokpihet eventually falls, and Reletha is topped by Orthos' Kumehumeha*

Deac: Now surrender Father Christmas! And Dick Clark!


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Old 12-21-2003, 08:41 PM   #59
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*Suddenly Flax swings from the rafters, by a bull whip no less, and topples Fused Ivrine "Raiders" plays in the background.*

Flax: Spoof something entertaining!

*Flax reaches for his gun, only to find it missing.*


Fly Fast,
Shoot Straight,
Live Long!
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Old 12-21-2003, 10:03 PM   #60
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Fused Irvine "Look, if I was a spikey blonde haired freak, I'd so Omislash you right now... But in complete fairness, if we were to spoof something."

*Fused Irvine takes out a ring, and wears it on his left hand. Then taking his right hand, and warping it around his left fist. Lowering his hands somewhere below his wiast, the ring immits a lightsaber beam roughly three and a half feet long.* ((XD))
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Old 12-22-2003, 02:12 PM   #61
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Syrnl: And if I had a large gun on my arm I'd feel inclined to use something called Big Shot on you. Don't know where that came from!

Father Christmas: I'm free!


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Old 12-22-2003, 02:54 PM   #62
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Flax: Fine!

*Pulls out his own ring and zaps Fused Ivrine in the unmentionables.*


Fly Fast,
Shoot Straight,
Live Long!
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Old 12-22-2003, 03:08 PM   #63
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*Fused irvine falls over*

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Old 12-23-2003, 12:44 AM   #64
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Gilian: Oh come on. Spoof something anime, so I can play the part of the rabid fangirl and slash everyone in the room.

Rwos: Santa's free! Uh, what now?

Gilian: Rwos, you can spoof a big prehistoric bird. After all, you've got a beak, claws, and no feathers...


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Old 12-23-2003, 04:14 AM   #65
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RH Irvine "Why don't you just go fall into a well..."

((Points at sig))
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Old 12-23-2003, 06:39 PM   #66
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Deac: No more time for spoofs!

*Frees Dick Clark.*

Deac: Right, our work here is done

*Lokpihet's cellphone rings again. When he tries to answer it it opens a portal, sucking our heroes back to the Cantina*

Syrnl: That was fun!

Orthos: Hey! A tree! With Presents...

Deac: Well, what have we learnt? That kidnapping celebrities ultimately fails? That 90% of phones are not properly used, often with disasterous results? That music does really pass the time?
Or that Christmas might be about more than presents and money.

*The Darkstars open their presents*

Orthos: "Dismembered Ewoks Greatest Hits" .Great

Deac: Cool! A new arm attachment for all my kitchen needs!

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE CANTINA.

The End...






Until Next YEAR.....


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