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Old 12-07-2003, 08:09 AM   #1
Hairboy
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New SP MOD- Starwars Unforgiven

Set directly after Jedi Academy, our lead character is one of the sith. The first level is a duel with jaden, you kill Jaden and become part of Lord Vardino's sith (SITH LORD).
The next few levels your knowledge of the force increases as you complete dark force missions. But after an imperial base is attacked by the Jedi force, you duel Luke Skywalker.
The battle proceeds until luke's life comes to a certain level then a cutscene begins. Luke will not fight you, he sees the good in you and you refuse to kill him.
But Lord Vardino applies a force grip on your saber and chops Luke's head off. Angry you chase after Lord Vardino, while he escapes down the lift.
You are an extremely powerful sith you can fly, and lightning a whole room. After the next few levels you proceed to the docking bay, ready to kill Lord Vardino but he has a trick up his sleeve.
(Cutscene)
A docking shuttle arrives and 6 sith (While not as powerful as you they are still rather powerful) file out. Each sith applies a force grip on you and then Lord Vardino brings out a supply case with a set of gauntlets in it. The gauntlet is placed on both your wrists.
One of the sith knocks you out.

Next level.
You wake up, and you have lost all your powers from the gauntlets. But you exit the jail you are in when a rebel escape begins. Despised by both Light and dark forces, You set out to kill Lord Vardino and with every level you gain your force powers back.
Along the way you fight each of the 6 sith until you have a duel with Lord Vardino.


I'm looking for coders, modellers, sound artists, etc.
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Old 12-07-2003, 10:52 AM   #2
razorace
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Wrong forum. This belongs in the Editting Requests forum.

Also, while playing the game from the Dark Side is cool, you can't really get away with killing major or even minor Star Wars characters.

In addition, I think you need to tone back the power level of your anti-hero. Having a fan created hero that kicks the ass of established characters is pretty high on the fanboy scale.


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Old 12-08-2003, 12:31 AM   #3
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Agreed. I don't want to see Jaden and/or Luke killed. Change your story to have lesser Jedi killed and it's a grade A mod in the making.


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Old 12-08-2003, 07:12 AM   #4
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I wouldn't mind that bad jaden would be killed, for that he would be very powerful anyways, but the fact that luke gets killed? That won't lose luke's head but your head


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Old 12-08-2003, 02:20 PM   #5
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If Luke is to die in the mod, I would have to say it would have to be a "what if?" scenario mod due to continuity reasons. Luke has to still be around, since he's still kickin' during the Imperial surrender in Vision of the Future. While giving people the opportunity to duel Luke is commendable, it might not be a good idea to kill him, as it might turn a lot of people off from downloading the mod.


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Old 12-19-2003, 03:36 PM   #6
Pahricida
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Plus:

How do you want to define Jaden's looks?

It's custom made so there is no "Real" jden look ... People who chose a Rodian will be upset if you give him the appearance of a female Human ...


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Old 12-19-2003, 09:07 PM   #7
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I've said it a million times: Why do fanboy Star Wars stories have to involve: a major SW character and/or the revival of the great Sith and/or a problem which AFFECTS THE FATE OF THE ENTIRE GALAXY!!!!111 ...again.

YAWN.

Also, yeah, let's just take the fictional universe continuity made by professional writers and throw it out the window! It doesn't matter, that Luke Skywalker faced Palpatine and Vader, probably the most powerful Sith lords ever, and essentially defeated them both! And then Darth Stupidname pops out of nowhere with his little fan club of wannabes, and is able to kill Luke Skywalker. Right.

"You are an extremely powerful sith you can fly" - sounds like The Matrix. Just like Darth Stupidname, from under what rock did this super-Force-user appear?

I would say, tone down the "super-uber-leet" scale of characters, take out the roles of Jaden and Luke... and instead of a great Sith lord, have the villain be a fallen Jedi student, or perhaps a renegade reborn. This would make it, so the story could be believable, and would fit in the continuity of the SW EU.

Many of your plot points are sound, even good... but the "super-ness" of your original characters, and your use of already established characters, ruins the continuity and believability of your story... which makes it much less enjoyable.


So, here are a few suggestions for revisions:

As far as the main characters, and the places of Jaden and Luke... why not make it, so the villain, had some personal connection to the main character and/or the supporting characters? Like they were friends at one time, and the villain fell to the Dark Side.

Let's say the main character has feelings for another Jedi student, who is under the same Master as the main character, and the three go off on a quest to stop the villain's evil plan, and/or to turn him back to the Light.

In the meantime, something happens and the main character becomes corrupted, and in the state of Dark side power, kills his Master, and joins the villain. (Basically, this would be in place of the fight with Jaden)

Then, after some time, the young Jedi who has some bond with the main character catches up with them, and duels the main character, but, having feelings for the main character and sensing the good in them, refuses to fight, and gets killed by the villian before the main character's eyes. (This would essentially replace the scene with Luke)


This would allow for the personal quest of vengeance with the main character versus the bad guy, which was a strong plot line in your story. Also, the new original characters allows for no problems regarding continuity, and believablilty.

Also, it would keep the good plotline of having the main character shunned by the Jedi Order (falling to the Dark side and being involved in the death of two other Jedi), and being enemies with the villain and his group, which puts the main character alone in a hostile setting.



If you still would like a fight with Luke, perhaps you can make it at the end, since the rage of vengeance would corrupt the main character again, Luke can appear to try to bring the main character back into the Order... but in any case, you can't have Luke killed. It destroys continuity, and also, who are you to think your story is good enough to kill off the MAIN CHARACTER in the whole Star Wars universe?


Anyway, you have some good plot points in your story, I would hope you would atleast consider revising your characters to make them fit better within the continuity.


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Old 12-27-2003, 02:11 AM   #8
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idontlikegeorge has summed up all the parts that should be changed in your mod, otherwise it looks like it has quite abit of promise.




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Old 01-24-2004, 11:43 AM   #9
The Count
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I'm sorry but this sounds like a terrible Mod; very unoriginal and predictable; I suggest to get more interest in it you make some fundamental changes to the story.
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