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Old 04-24-2014, 07:05 PM   #1
Artisa
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The last time someone called me innocent...

Was on my last day of my PLAB 1 course a couple months ago - being in the medical field means you pick up a couple of more interesting-than-usual anecdotes now and then

So our teacher was saying how whenever she was on duty in the accident and emergency, there was some woman that came by weekly asking for emergency contraception, and she'd make sure she'd come on a day when the doctor on duty was a woman.

Now the norm is that when someone comes asking for emergency contraception, you're also supposed to give them condoms too and send them on their way, but this woman kept coming back for more, so my teacher was wondering what exactly the woman was doing, hoarding all this rubber, so she asked her.

Turned out the lady had three kids and were saving them for her kids' birthdays.

While the rest of my class reacted immediately I sat staring blankly for a looooong while until one of my friends said "SHE DIDN'T GET IT! DON'T EXPLAIN IT TO HER!! OH it's so refreshing seeing someone still as innocent!!"

Someone eventually explained it to me and that was the last time I was called 'innocent'.

Story done.

Do tell me if you didn't get it and I shall explain it to you without an iota of judgement!


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Old 04-24-2014, 07:30 PM   #2
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I don't "get" it either, because I can of think of several reasons for her to do that, and I'm not sure which of these is the obvious one everyone reacted to. Okay, I'm fairly sure the incestous ones aren't.




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Old 04-24-2014, 07:38 PM   #3
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Well, okay, I guess the obvious one would be that she plans on gifting them time with a hooker. But in that case, wouldn't it be easier to just buy some damn condoms? Money wouldn't be an issue there, since, you know, time with a prostitute isn't cheap either.




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Old 04-24-2014, 07:44 PM   #4
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She was using them as balloons.

Yup, I didn't get it either.


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Old 04-24-2014, 07:51 PM   #5
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Ah.

I guess my mind was thrown into a completely wrong direction at the mentioning of you being "too innocent".




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Old 04-24-2014, 09:19 PM   #6
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Yeah, balloons wasn't my first thought either. Also I'd say of all the options, that's probably the most innocent


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Old 04-25-2014, 07:25 AM   #7
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THANK YOU! I knew it wasn't just me! LOL figures I'd find fellow like-minded people in the forums!


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Old 04-25-2014, 07:49 AM   #8
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Old 04-25-2014, 10:54 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by DrMcCoy View Post
Well, okay, I guess the obvious one would be that she plans on gifting them time with a hooker.
Call me old and cynical, but this is the one I would have gone for.

You've got to be pretty desperate to give your kids condoms as balloons....what next, a tube of lube so they can spice up a game of piggy in the middle with greasy hands?


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Old 04-25-2014, 11:06 AM   #10
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Post Triton V-10

I didn't get it because I use my condoms for garbage bags.

What?


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Old 04-25-2014, 11:48 AM   #11
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I didn't get it because I use my condoms for garbage bags.

What?


Before anyone gets any ideas, there's Zoom performing his chef duties.


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Old 04-25-2014, 01:25 PM   #12
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Post Easy

"My, Zoom...what a huge baguette!"
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Old 04-25-2014, 05:47 PM   #13
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Oh why did I start this thread.


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Old 04-25-2014, 06:14 PM   #14
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because you secretly wanted Zoom to reveal his 'cheesy baguette'?


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Old 04-26-2014, 06:53 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by RoyTordesLegend View Post
because you secretly wanted Zoom to reveal his 'cheesy baguette'?
Yes. Of course.


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Old 04-26-2014, 04:00 PM   #16
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it's a bit shrivelled these days mind you


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Old 04-26-2014, 04:02 PM   #17
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*feels vaguely jealous*




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Old 04-26-2014, 04:05 PM   #18
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feels what?


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Old 04-26-2014, 06:41 PM   #19
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Obamanation

Just get an over-sized pick-up truck, then drive around like a douchebag in it.

That's how the small compensate over here in america. Curious, isn't it?


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Old 04-26-2014, 07:07 PM   #20
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Just get an over-sized pick-up truck, then drive around like a douchebag in it.

That's how the small compensate over here in america. Curious, isn't it?
This is me cruising the local strip....



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Old 04-26-2014, 08:29 PM   #21
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This is me cruising the local strip....

View page
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Old 04-26-2014, 11:35 PM   #22
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Cool Guy Farm boy

So you're saying they allow shopping carts on the roads in Britain?

*(Removes London from his 'fantasy grand prix' race course.)*


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Old 04-28-2014, 07:30 AM   #23
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hey that's a legitimate car, unlike that muppets one lol.

In all seriousness, I've been driving the missus car a lot recently....it's just like this:-



I have to compensate for my massive........





















.....overdraft, somehow!


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Old 04-28-2014, 06:01 PM   #24
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LOL well I personally adore the cute little two-seater cars! Never seen them in either of the countries I lived in before, and some people actually put EYELASHES on them!! Too cute!

On a side note, first driving lesson day after tomorrow! I thought it'd be cool but my brother keeps giving me the evil laugh...


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Old 04-30-2014, 08:11 AM   #25
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LOL well I personally adore the cute little two-seater cars! Never seen them in either of the countries I lived in before, and some people actually put EYELASHES on them!! Too cute!

On a side note, first driving lesson day after tomorrow! I thought it'd be cool but my brother keeps giving me the evil laugh...
Anyone found to have decorated their car in cheap tat like eyelashes, headlamp covers, additional badging, silly stickers, go faster stripes, painted wheels/trims/hubcaps, black bonnets, gawdy seat covers, fluffy steering wheel covers, stuffed toys on the parcel shelf, or any other tacky nonsense, deserves for their car to be instantly crushed and them to be dragged naked onto the street and publicly pilloried.

Hope the lesson goes/has gone well.


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Old 04-30-2014, 01:35 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by RoyTordesLegend View Post
Anyone found to have decorated their car in cheap tat like eyelashes, headlamp covers, additional badging, silly stickers, go faster stripes, painted wheels/trims/hubcaps, black bonnets, gawdy seat covers, fluffy steering wheel covers, stuffed toys on the parcel shelf, or any other tacky nonsense, deserves for their car to be instantly crushed and them to be dragged naked onto the street and publicly pilloried.

Hope the lesson goes/has gone well.
What if I wanted to put a MONKEY ISLAND PAINT JOB on it?!

In other news, I've decided I don't like manual cars. And the damn signals!! Aargh! I'm used to them being where the windshield wipers are!!


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Old 04-30-2014, 01:43 PM   #27
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What if I wanted to put a MONKEY ISLAND PAINT JOB on it?!
Well that's different! BUT, airbrushing it would look rubbish. I think some sort of vinyl bodywork wrap in Monkey Island theme would look incredible (to me), just as long as you didn't dress it up with the tat discussed previously.


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Old 04-30-2014, 01:51 PM   #28
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Well that's different! BUT, airbrushing it would look rubbish. I think some sort of vinyl bodywork wrap in Monkey Island theme would look incredible (to me), just as long as you didn't dress it up with the tat discussed previously.
I always dreamed that one day I'd have a car paint jobbed with all my favourite characters from every fandom I've ever had - like a neat car tattoo!

Then I realize it'll probably cost a bundle.


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Old 04-30-2014, 01:55 PM   #29
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Something like this, but without all the logos and numbers, and Monkey Island, not Mario/Sonic.





Edit: Cost appears to be about £1000-£1500 of your Great British Pounds (for an average to large car), whereabouts are you Artisa?


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Old 04-30-2014, 02:10 PM   #30
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Quote:
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Something like this, but without all the logos and numbers, and Monkey Island, not Mario/Sonic.
Neato! I agree the logos totally ruin it.

Quote:
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Cost appears to be about £1000-£1500 of your Great British Pounds (for an average to large car), whereabouts are you Artisa?
Hmm, well I don't have a car. Or a job. Or a house for that matter (unless you count freeloading on your brother's place which I don't) so... yeaaaah.


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Old 04-30-2014, 07:37 PM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RoyTordesLegend View Post
Anyone found to have decorated their car in cheap tat like eyelashes, headlamp covers, additional badging, silly stickers, go faster stripes, painted wheels/trims/hubcaps, black bonnets, gawdy seat covers, fluffy steering wheel covers, stuffed toys on the parcel shelf, or any other tacky nonsense, deserves for their car to be instantly crushed and them to be dragged naked onto the street and publicly pilloried.

Hope the lesson goes/has gone well.
Does this count?




They are performance add-ons, since they make my truck go faster.


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Old 05-01-2014, 04:21 AM   #32
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Nah not really, by stickers, I meant more like this:-



or this



or this



or this



you get the picture....


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Old 05-01-2014, 08:37 AM   #33
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Nah not really, by stickers, I meant more like this:-

Wooooooowww. Overkill.


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Old 05-01-2014, 09:01 AM   #34
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You'd totally go for that if it were smilies instead of flowers.




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Old 05-01-2014, 09:31 AM   #35
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You'd totally go for that if it were smilies instead of flowers.
Pffffffft HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAA

You presume much! This is where I say you'd go for it if it were grumpy cats instead!


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Old 05-01-2014, 09:37 AM   #36
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I would.




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Old 05-01-2014, 09:38 AM   #37
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Old 05-01-2014, 09:53 AM   #38
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Fitting.


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Old 05-01-2014, 09:59 AM   #39
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...In piss yellow? Bah.




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Old 05-01-2014, 10:21 AM   #40
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So.... black instead? To match your void of a soul?


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