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Old 11-04-2005, 03:15 AM   #1
JediKnight707
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[FIC]Return of the Exile

I'm not sure if anyone has heard, but I'm re-writing this story. This was the first fanfic I ever wrote--ever--and while I do like it, I was in 7th grade, and the grammar is a little amatuer. So now that I've got some expeirence under my belt, I decided to make this story more...complete. I just want to tie up some loose ends, make the story less choppy. I'm not sure when I'll complete this renovation, but I'm going to keep doing it. I hope you like it. More to come, for sure

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas knew he probably shouldn’t, but he felt it necessary to at least have one more glass of juma juice. He was in a cantina with Bao-Dur, Mira, Brianna, Visas, and Atton. T3 and HK had gone off to get oil baths, and the Ebon Hawk crew had decided to have some drinks in a local cantina.
Thomas had already had three drinks, and was starting to feel something of a buzz, but he needed to let loose, and so he asked the bartender for another refill. “Hey buddy,” the bartender whispered, “maybe you should stop after this one. No offense, but you don’t look like a heavy drinker.”
Thomas, who after taking another sip, had started to feel drunk, took major offense to this. “I—I don’t k-know what you’re talking about. I-I can d-drink like anyone else. I’ve w-won competitions for my drinking skills,” he said, slurring some words.
“He’s right, Thomas,” Brianna said. “You’re not one that is very drug-resistant.”
Thomas finished his juma juice. He had a glazed over look in his eyes. “You’re really pretty, Brianna.” He smiled. “You know, I’ve always wanted to take you on a date. I l-love”—he hiccupped—“y-y-yo—” Thomas passed out, and fell to the floor with a thud.
They all stared at Thomas for a few seconds, before looking at each other. Then they burst out laughing.
“The savior of the galaxy—passed out from some juma juice,” Atton said between chuckles.

“WAKE UP!” Mira roared at Thomas, and kicked him several times in his ribs.
Thomas groaned. He opened his eyes, and it took him a few moments to see where he was. He was lying on the floor of the Ebon Hawk, in the same clothes he wore last night, and he had a pounding headache.
He stood up, and almost stumbled back on the floor again. “Where are we?” Thomas asked Mira, groggily.
“Dantooine.”
“How long have I been out?”
Mira scratched her chin. “Hmmm…I’d say, roughly, fourteen hours. Maybe fifteen.”
“From one glass of juma juice?!”
Mira laughed. “Excuse me, but that one turned to three, which turned to be three and a half before you passed out. You’re not exactly a heavy drinker.”
“Ugh…well, thanks for waking me. Though you could have been more gentle, don’t ya think?”
“Well, you wouldn’t awake to: ‘Thomas, Thomas,’ and my gentle shakings. Nor would you awake to: ‘Get the hell up you lousy excuse for a Jedi,’ and my gen— well, they weren’t gentle shakings after that. So, I had to resort to drastic measures.”
Thomas shook his head, trying to clear the fuzziness. “Well, whatever. Go…do whatever.”
As she walked away, Thomas started to mutter, “Crazy bit—” before she yelled, “I can still hear you!!”
Thomas walked into his dormitory. There, he sat down on his bed, and held his head in his hands. What all had he said, he wondered. He remembered talking to Brianna, but couldn’t remember what he said. He just hoped that whatever he said hadn’t been too bad or revealing.
Sighing, Thomas stood up and walked over to one of the compartments. He opened it, and pulled out a pack of pills. Chazer Plus read the label. He popped one out, and swallowed it.
He cracked his knuckles, and walked into the cockpit.
Atton was in there, a hat rested over his eyes. “What do you want Thomas?” he asked.
“How ya doing Atton?” Thomas asked.
“Not to good.”
Thomas raised an eyebrow. “Why’s that?”
“We’re on Dantooine.”
“Point being?”
“I don’t like it here.”
“Why’s that?”
“Lectures. Training. Lectures. Training. All not fun.”
“Hey, you signed up to be a Jedi.”
“Obviously I didn’t read the fine print.”
“Whose fault is that?”
“Yours.”
Brianna walked in. “How ya guys doing?” she asked.
Atton and I said at the same time, “Crappy.”
Brianna laughed. “Great. Thomas can I talk to you in my dormitory after your guys’ lovely chat is done?”
“Sure I’ll be in there in a few.”
She winked at me, and walked away.
Atton looked at her as she walked away and when she was out of hearing range, he whispered, “I think she’s got a crush on you.”
Thomas looked at Atton and snorted. “Yeah, whatever. Back to you. I think you need to practice on your lightsaber skills some more. And, for that matter, why don’t you build your own lightsaber?”
“Hey, Mr. Hypocrite, how’s yours working?”
Thomas pulled out his, and pressed the ignition button. Sparks flew from it, and it made a whirling noise, but no blade came out.
Thomas put it back on his belt, and stretched. He yawned. “Who’d have thought that after fifteen hours, I’d still be tired?”
“Yeah, yeah. Leave me alone to nap—er, I mean practice my lightsaber skills.”
Thomas walked away, and looked back after a few steps. Atton had already put his hat back over his eyes and was trying to sleep again. “WAKE UP!” Thomas yelled.
“GO TALK TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND!” Atton yelled back as Thomas walked away.
Thomas walked into Brianna’s dormitory. She was lying on her bed, with her eyes closed.
“Why is everyone tired?” Thomas whispered to himself.
“’Cause we saved the galaxy two weeks ago,” Brianna said, her eyes still closed.
“That might be it.” Thomas sat down on the side of the bed. “You wanted to see me?”
Brianna sat up. She ran a hand down her face, and blinked hard a few times. “Yeah. Listen, I was wondering if you could show me around Dantooine? I’ve never been here before. Well, I’ve been here, but I was always in the Ebon Hawk—you always took Atton and Bao-Dur with you for your adventures. Or, with a Sith.”
“She wasn’t a Sith, I don’t think,” Thomas said quickly. He was surprised at his own defense for Kreia.
Brianna looked at Thomas, surprised, but continued as if she hadn’t been interrupted. “I’ve never had a grand tour of the place, and I was wondering if you could do the honors?”
Thomas smiled. “A date it is.”
“Its n—” Brianna began to protest, but stopped. It was a date.
Thomas got up and kissed her forehead. “Sleep. You look exhausted.” He sighed, and put on his best fake smile. “I’ve got to go get reinstated to the Order.”
She giggled. “Have fun.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.” After Thomas left, she laid down on the bed again. She closed her eyes and smiled as she drifted off to sleep.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------


Last edited by Jedi_Knight_707; 06-25-2007 at 12:21 AM.
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Old 11-05-2005, 02:14 AM   #2
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Ah, another chapter. The story is slowly, but surely, being completed (again). I hope you like this If not, then don't read it. Enjoy.

Chapter 2

Thomas walked out of the Ebon Hawk a few minutes later. He squinted as the light hit his face.
His headache had been reduced to a dull throbbing, and he walked towards the Khoonda’s administration office. He thought back on the time he had defended it, killing the bastards trying to over throw it.
And he thought of Vrook being the perpetual butt hole he always had been. “You defended it well, but if it hadn’t been for me, Khoonda would have fallen,” Vrook had said boldly. Prick.
He stepped into the building and the air conditioned room gave him a much needed sanctuary from the heat of the outsides.
They had decided to use this building for their impromptu Jedi Council, while the Enclave was still being repaired.
The Council had somehow expanded some of the rooms, and they were used as the Councils chambers.
Thomas walked over to one with a closed door. “Should he be reinstated?” asked a voice.
“No. He defied our orders and turned to the Dark side, purposefully defying our orders.”
“Valid point Vrook, but he never went over to the Dark side, and he saved the galaxy.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t talk so loud.”
“Why not?”
“Because Thomas is standing right outside our door.”
As soon as the sentence was finished, the door opened. Thomas stepped inside.
“Well, I’m sure you heard what we said,” Master Kavar said. They were all sitting in a circle: Kavar, Vrook, Vandar, Zez-Kai Ell, and Dorak.
“Uhh…yeah, I was just walking in—”
“And you felt the need to spy on us?” Vrook asked.
“Now, Vrook, there’s no need to get personal. Curiosity is human’s natural way to knowledge,” Vandar piped in.
“Okay, well, I would like to be reinstated.” Thomas had prepared a persuasive speech. “You see, I was the one—”
“Alright, you can be a Knight again,” Kavar said, cutting Thomas off.
Thomas and Vrook looked surprised. “Really?” asked Thomas eagerly.
“We did not agree on this,” Vrook seethed.
“Well, tough ****. If you don’t like it, you can stop being a Jedi yourself,” Dorak said, with a smile that betrayed his words.
Thomas chuckled. “Alright, I’ve got a lightsaber to build. I’m gonna go build it.” He teetered on his heels. “So…bye.”
He began to walk away, when Kavar stopped him. “And Thomas, one more thing.”
“Yes?” Thomas asked, turning around.
“Don’t screw up again.”
Thomas winked. “No worries.”

Thomas walked to the workbench. One of the new padawans—there were about fifteen that had been recruited since Kriea’s demise two weeks ago—was sitting there, tinkering with something.
Thomas told him that he, as a Knight, had superiority and kicked the padawan as he walked away.
He sat at the workbench, and began the long process.
After several hours, he was finished. He stood up, stretched, and ignited the blade. The blue meter of energy hummed.
Thomas smiled at it. He loved the satisfaction he got after he completed a lightsaber.
Thomas glanced outside through the windows. The sun, while still shining bright, was beginning to fall beneath the horizon.
He remembered his date with Brianna and began walking back to the Ebon Hawk.

He to Brianna’s dormitory. She had her door closed, and he knocked. “Brianna are you almost ready?”
“Yeah just give me five minutes.”
“Probably more like twenty,” Thomas muttered as he walked away.
He was walking to his dormitory when Mira stopped him.
“Hey Thomas, I’ve got something to say,” she said.
“Sure what’s up?”
“I’m thinking of leaving the Ebon Hawk. For good.”
Thomas looked at her curiously. “Why?”
“It’s just that I’m a Jedi now. And I think that I should be out there doing something more important for the galaxy. It’s not that I don’t like you guys; I love everyone on the crew.
“But, I want to do what Bao-Dur did. Leave and go do something meaningful. I find that I’m getting restless. I can feel people asking for my help.”
Thomas smiled. “Mira, I can only hope that you help as many people as you can.”
“I will. I think that I’ll find some ship that can take me somewhere. Anywhere, just someplace where I can help people. I’ve already talked to over with the Masters, and they’re fine with it.”
Thomas gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “If I ever need your help, I’ll call on you.”
“I’ll be waiting.” She walked down the ramp and waved good-bye.
Thomas walked into his dormitory and put on his best set of robes. He tossed his lightsaber on his bed, and looked at himself in the mirror. He had a five o’clock shadow, but he was too lazy to shave it.
He walked over to Brianna’s room, and knocked on the door. “Ready?” he asked.
“Yeah, hold on.” He heard some shuffling, and then the door opened. She was dressed in a set of white robes.
He looked at her surprised. “You look nice.”
“Thanks. You too. Though that beard, or lack there of, doesn’t really flatter you.”
“Too lazy to shave it.”
“Whatever. C’mon let’s go.”


Last edited by Jedi_Knight_707; 07-18-2007 at 11:26 PM.
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Old 11-05-2005, 07:41 AM   #3
John Skywalker
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interesting keep it up(check out adventure of john skywalker)
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Old 11-05-2005, 09:10 AM   #4
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Pretty cool so far. You may want to put in a bit more detail, though. Just a suggestion. I mean, when Briana and Tom kissed...uh...they're Jedi, so shouldn't they be at least a little reluctant? Ah, whatever. Other than that, its pretty good, so keep it up.


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Old 11-06-2005, 11:49 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ForceFightWMe12
Pretty cool so far. You may want to put in a bit more detail, though. Just a suggestion. I mean, when Briana and Tom kissed...uh...they're Jedi, so shouldn't they be at least a little reluctant? Ah, whatever. Other than that, its pretty good, so keep it up.
What can stand in the way of love? Yeah, I was gonna put the kiss in later, but I wanted to start off with a big bang! and plus I had just finished reading your chapters on Bastila and Revan kissing...(I'm serious thats where I got the idea ^^)

EDIT: And c'mon, I don't get any credit for throwing Atton in there seeing Darth Nihilus and Visas? That was brilliant cool on my part Thanks for the support though The next chapter should be up in the week sometime (probably monday/tuesday)


Last edited by Jedi_Knight_707; 11-07-2005 at 12:24 AM.
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Old 11-07-2005, 11:36 PM   #6
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I decided to take out the kissing part. Save for another part

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Old 11-08-2005, 03:24 AM   #7
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Here is something I threw together in a few minutes, but I hope you like it

Chapter 3

Visas said nothing.
“You were the most beautiful of them all,” said Atton softly.
“Don’t say that, we are Jedi; we can’t love,” Visas replied.
“But you’re too beautiful for me not to like.”
“Atton, I cannot like you. It’s against both of our beliefs.”
“But look at Brianna and Thomas.”
Visas could say nothing to this. She was heartbroken. She liked Atton very much, and was even wondering if she was starting to love him.
Atton couldn’t read Visas’ expression. He too was heartbroken because he wasn’t sure how much Visas liked him back. He had grown up in the bad part of the worst planet. He had taught himself never to trust, or get to close to, anybody but himself. But when he was around Visas, it made his heart jump, and it made him so happy. At first, he told himself it was just the prospect of having another woman on-board. But, he found that he was just kidding himself.

Thomas couldn’t help but like Brianna. She was pretty and smart. She also knew Atris, and they both could joke about her. It was like his first day at the Enclave with her: Exciting and unpredictable.
Brianna couldn’t help but like Thomas. He was so handsome, funny, happy-go-lucky, but had a serious side that came out only when he was really angry. She had seen it once, when he was fighting Kreia. If she ever saw that glint in his eyes again, she would be scared for herself, though she knew that Thomas would never hurt her. The only reason she was hesitant toward him is his death. Thomas was not one that could sit down and live a quiet life. He needed a life. He needed an adventure. But no matter where he went, she would be there if he wanted her to be.

6 monthes later

"Hey, Atton," said Thomas.
"Yes, master?" replied Atton.
"I have a surprise for you. Follow me."
As the walked into the cockpit, Atton noticed all the crew of the Ebon Hawk, and Jedi Master Kavar, Vandar, Zez-Kai Ell, and Vrook.
"Whats going on?" asked Atton curiously.
"I want you to have this. It served me well, and I know that it will serve you well," said Thomas as he handed Atton a caser that was about 10 inches long and 5 inches wide.
"Ok..."
Atton opened the case and said, "No........Thomas I can't take this...."
Inside of that case was Thomas' lightsaber that he had thrust into the Jedi Council statue.
"But, wait.........does that mean what I think it means?" asked Atton eagerly.
Beaming, Thomas said, "Yup!!!! You're a Jedi knight!!!!!!!!"


Last edited by Jedi_Knight_707; 11-11-2005 at 02:02 PM.
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Old 11-11-2005, 02:05 PM   #8
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Added a little part.

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Old 11-11-2005, 02:26 PM   #9
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Thats cool! and you say your not good?
*makes and appointment with the psychologist on your behalf*
5:30 PM tomorrow, dude.
though, the spelling id DANTOOINE, not datooine.


Duct Tape is ALWAYS the answer
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Old 11-11-2005, 04:20 PM   #10
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jedi knight your really good i like this story keep it coming up
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Old 11-11-2005, 05:22 PM   #11
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*blushes* I'm touched, I mean it

@RC Thanks for the appointment, I need one And, I didn't know how to spell it and it was like 3 in the morning, so I was lost.
@JS Thank you (I like your story too )

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Old 11-11-2005, 05:37 PM   #12
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You're good. I mean REALLY good.
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Old 11-11-2005, 10:25 PM   #13
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Heres a little bit more, I'll be adding soon:

After a few days, the celebrating died down. And finally, Atton knew it was time. He went to Visas’ room, and without even saying anything, she nodded and followed him into Thomas’ room.
“Thomas we need to talk,” said Atton.
“What about?” replied Thomas curiously.
“Atton and I are leaving,” said Visas.
“Why???”
“We know you have felt it, as we have as well,” said Atton
Thomas said nothing. He had noticed a dark side force sweeping over the Outer Rims. He had hoped that they wouldn’t notice it.
“We both think that it might be Darth Nihilus,” said Atton.
“But we destroyed him, how could it be him?” asked Thomas.
“I can feel him. He was my former master, I know his feeling the best,” replied Visas.
Thomas mulled this over for a few minutes then said, “I cannot do anything to stop, nor would I. It’s your decision and if you wish to leave, then do so. I let you leave with a heavy heart, but it’s your decision.”
“There is only one inconvenience, we have no ship,” said Atton.
Smiling in spite of himself, Thomas said, “That’s one thing that I can help you in. I was saving this ship incase of emergency, but it will suit you better. It’s hidden on the world of Tatoonie. We shall go there in two days.”
Thomas walked into Brianna’s room and told him all that had been said. Brianna said nothing the whole time, nor had she shown any emotion during it. After Thomas finished, however, he noticed that Brianna had tears in her eyes. Thomas gave her a hug, and kissed her forehead, “Don’t worry, they’ll be ok.”
That night, Thomas had a bad nightmare.
He was walking down a hallway. At the end, were two passageways, one to the east, and one to the west. Thomas knew that the west passage was the right one. He thought that it would never end. He started to run until he finally found the end. There was a door. Just a door. He entered the room. Inside, he saw a big screen. On that screen, he saw Visas and Atton fighting someone…something. They both had their blue blades flashing, but the mysterious thing was faster. Its red blade cut down Atton. Visas hadn’t noticed. He wanted to scream to Visas, tell her anything. “He’s too fast, you can’t win!!!” he cried. But she didn’t hear. She kept moving her blade. Thomas knew the fight would end soon, and that Visas would be killed. He ran towards the thing, and as he ignited his blade, he suddenly became the thing. He didn’t even know that he was moving his blade. Finally the thing, him, faked left, and flew his blade right. Visas was caught off guard, and gave a look of surprise, as the blade killed her.
Thomas awoke with a start. Looking around wildly, he noticed that he was still in his dormitory on the Ebon Hawk.
It was just a dream, he thought to himself.
Brianna, who had awoken from his sudden uprising, asked worriedly, “Thomas, is something wrong?”
“In the morning, now is not the time.”
That morning, Thomas told Brianna his dream. Brianna looked worried and said, “You should tell one of the Jedi Masters.”
Thomas agreed. A few minutes later, he started told to Zez-Kai Ell about his dream.
“I suppose it could be a premonition, or it could be from the sadness of Visas and Atton leaving.”
“Master, I’m scared for them. They are my best friends, and I wish no harm to come to them.”
“Remember, death is a part of life. Do not fear it, embrace it.”
Not feeling at peace like he had hoped, Thomas thanked Zez-Kai and left. As he walked back to the ship, Brianna caught up with him and asked how it went.
“All Zez-Kai did was tell me that I shouldn’t fear death.”
“So, it went expectantly.”
“Exactly.”
They entered the Ebon Hawk, and Brianna told Visas and Atton that they were going to leave in a few minutes.
After the ship entered hyperdrive, Thomas went into the room that Visas and Atton shared and said, “It’s going to be a few days until we get there. What planet are you guys going to go to first?”
“We’re actually going to be staying at Tatoonie for a week to see if that’s where whoever it is that were looking for is hiding.”
“I’d offer to stay, as Brianna and I have no place to go, but I know that this is something that you must do on your own.”
A few days later, they touched down.
“It’s in there,” said Thomas, pointing towards a garage. “Oh, yes, the ship has no name, and I leave it to you.”
“Thank you,” replied Atton.
Shaking Atton’s hand Thomas said, “You look after yourself. I’m not going to be there backing you up.”
Smiling Atton said, “Don’t worry. I’ve got Visas.”
Thomas gave Visas a hug and said, “Help Atton out. He needs it. If you ever need anything, we’ll probably be at the Enclave, so don’t hesitate to come.”

Visas and Atton walked towards the garage.
“What do you think that we should name it?” asked Visas.
“I want you to name it,” said Atton softly.
Even though it seemed like such a small gesture, Visas knew it was something bigger than that.
“Thank you…it shall be named….The Flagship."


Last edited by Jedi_Knight_707; 11-15-2005 at 03:44 AM.
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Old 11-11-2005, 10:29 PM   #14
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Nice work, excellente! Keep it up.
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Old 11-11-2005, 10:31 PM   #15
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Thank you

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Old 11-11-2005, 11:41 PM   #16
John Skywalker
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Jedi knight your story is SO COOL im stumped on whats going to happen to Visas and Atton but i dont want her to die. I cant wait untill your next update
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Old 11-11-2005, 11:45 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John Skywalker
Jedi knight your story is SO COOL im stumped on whats going to happen to Visas and Atton but i dont want her to die. I cant wait untill your next update
Visas/Atton left becuase they needed to investigate something, and Thomas had a dream Update should be in the next few hours

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Old 11-11-2005, 11:47 PM   #18
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cool i cant wait
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Old 11-12-2005, 03:43 AM   #19
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Added a small part. Hope you like it I can't think of a name for the ship, but I should have one in a few minutes.

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Old 11-12-2005, 07:33 AM   #20
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i like the way thomas speaks with zez-kai it reminds me when anakin speaks to yoda in revenge of the sith about his dream of padme dieing cant wait for your next chapter
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Old 11-12-2005, 01:06 PM   #21
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Thats where I got the idea

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Old 11-15-2005, 03:46 AM   #22
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Just put in the name of the ship. Kinda cheezy, but the best I could think of. Heres part of the next chapter, I should have some more soon:

Chapter 3

3 days since Visas/Atton arrived on Tattoonie

“Visas, call this a ‘hunch’, but whoever or whatever were looking for isn’t here.”
“Perhaps not, but the force brought us here for some reason, that I’m sure of.”
All of the sudden, Visas felt the force nudge her. She pushed Atton away just in time. From the top of a building they were walking past, a person had jumped off with a red lightsaber flashing.
“WHOA!!!!! That was close. Thank you,” said Atton, relieved that he hadn’t just been cut in half.
“Who are you, and why did you just try to cut down Atton?” asked Visas.
“I shall not tell you who I am,” said the thing.
Visas had her guesses, but she kept them to herself.
“If you want to kill Atton, you’re going to have to take me down as well,” said Visas, igniting her blue lightsaber.
“So be it.”
Atton jumped next to Visas, igniting his green lightsaber in mid-air.
“We will be no easy task to bring down,” said Atton, warningly.
“Nor will I.”
He started attacking. He was fast and skilled, but against two Jedi knights, it was going to be tough, he knew it. But he was so sure that he would succeed that he did not notice the glint in their eyes. The fire, the passion, inside them.
Visas and Atton lost themselves into the force. It guided them. It told them when to parry, and when to attack.
Soon, the thing noticed that he could not win the fight. If he kept it up, he would be defeated. Realizing this, he leapt to a platform that had been hovering above.
“This is not the end. I will learn more, and defeat both of you. Unless, of course,” he said, a smirk covering his face, “these guys don’t do it first.”
Activating the platform he flew away.
“What guys?” asked Atton, curiously.
As soon as he said that, 20 mercinaires surrounded them.
“You just had -,” started Visas before Atton cut her off.
“- to say it. Yea, yea, I know. Well, I don’t think that these guys are going to go peaceful, what do you think?”
“These are one of those times when I agree with you.”
Activating their lightsabers they started to block back the blaster fire that came their way seconds later.
Then, after a few minutes of fighting, the worse thing that Atton could have thought of happened. Visas got hit.
“NOOOOO!!!!!!” cried Atton.
He suddenly felt hot anger growing inside him. He yelled out a war-cry and force pushed the few remaining mercenaries into a wall.
He bent down to Visas and checked to make sure she was alive. He could feel a pulse, but she was unconscious. He put her on his back and ran the mile back to the ship to put her in the medbay.
Setting her down on the table, he began to work on the wound. Using the force, he healed the wound, but he couldn’t do anything about the pain. He knew that she probably wouldn’t wake up for a few days.
He checked on her everyday and stayed with her for a few hours. When he wasn’t with her, he was out looking for the person that he and Visas had dueled.
Four days after Visas had been hit, Atton decided to search the other planets, he couldn’t find any trace of that thing. He started preparing the engines, and didn’t notice the person standing in the cockpit door.
“Thanks…,” said the person.
“Visas?” said Atton, looking at the door. “Oh my gosh, you’re awake! Are you feeling okay?”
“I have been better.”
Atton pulled her into a hug. “I’ve been so worried. I did everything that I thought that I could. I didn’t want to lose you.”
Snuggling into his chest, she said, “Don’t worry…were together again.”

“I’m worried about them,” said Brianna.
“Yes, we all are,” replied Thomas kindly.
“I think that we should go after them, help them.”
“No!” a little sharper than he had intended. Softening, he said, “It is a journey that they must take alone. They understand the risk. If we really need to help them, the force will tell us.”
“I guess your right. You always are.”
“Not according to Atris,” said Thomas, smiling.
Pulling Brianna into a hug, Thomas said, “Don’t worry. Remember, they both are Jedi knights. They can look after themselves.”
“But, I do worry.”
“So, do I,” replied Thomas, softly.
“Well, there’s no point fussing about it. I’m bored. Wanna spar?” asked Brianna with a certain threat in her voice.
“I thought that you’d never ask.”
Walking into the Enclave courtyard, they both ignited their lightsabers.
“I’m a little rusty, so go easy on me,” said Brianna, jokingly.
Laughing, Thomas replied, “Sure. I always have to go easy on you. You’re too amateur for me.”
After a quick laugh, they jumped into the fight. Their blue blades were painting a brilliant picture in the dusk. After about twenty minutes, their fellow Jedi started to notice the fight. Not many of them had seen such brilliant sword fighting. They almost looked like they simply weren’t there. The blade would be there, then it would be another place, almost instantly.
“Have you seen such….brilliance?” asked a young padawan, awed.
“If I ever get half as good as Brianna and Thomas, I’ll be happy,” said another, just as awed.
After two hours of fighting, they stopped.
“Whew, you’re getting better, but you’ll never surpass me!” said Thomas, barely winded.
“I was holding back. If I had been on full power, you’d be chopped in half right now.”
“Excuses, excuses.”
The force gave a big push. A desperate push.
“Whoa, did you just feel that?” asked Thomas.
“Yea, I did. What was that?” asked Brianna.
“I don’t know. But it felt like it came from the Outer Rim.”
“You don’t think that it has to do with Visas and Atton do you?” asked Brianna, worriedly.
“Yes, I do. We should leave immediately.”
“Where to?”
“I told you, the force will guide us.”
Sighing, Brianna said, “Yes, you are right. I’m sorry if I sound persistent. I’m just very worried.
“There is no reason to apologize. I feel the same way, but we have to trust that our friends can take care of themselves. The force will tell us if anything seriously bad has happened. I have to get something from my room, get the Ebon Hawk ready.”
As he started to walk to his quarters, somebody yelled, “Thomas! THOMAS!!”
Turning, Thomas saw Vrook coming towards him. “Oh, jeez,” muttered Thomas, under his breath.
“The other Jedi masters may give you permission to leave, but I don’t!,” yelled Vrook.
“Well, that’s too bad, because you’re a padawan!” retorted Thomas. The other Jedi masters had de-ranked Vrook to padawan after they learned what a prick he had been to Thomas.
Fuming, Vrook stormed off.
After the Ebon Hawk had lifted off, Thomas and Brianna went into Thomas’ dormitory. Thomas said, “I want you to clear your mind. You’re going to find where Visas and Atton are.”
“Are you sure?” asked Brianna, nervously.
Chuckling, Thomas replied, “Don’t worry. You’ll do just fine.”
“OK…”
“Now clear your mind. Remember the moment when you felt Atton and Visas’ force nudge. Everything that you need to know, is in that moment. You just have to relive it. Feel it again. Live it again.”
Inhaling deeply, Brianna thought for a minute. “There! I know where they are!”
“Good, go set the hyperdrive for Tatoonie.”
Puzzled, Brianna asked, “How did you know that Tatoonie is where I saw?”
Laughing, Thomas said, “I’m always on top of things. I know all and see all.”
Laughing, Brianna walked into the cockpit and set it for Tatoonie.
“It’s going to be a two day trip,” she said, walking out of the cockpit.
“Might as well as get comfy. Let’s spar again!” he said eagerly.
“Just like old times, eh?”
“Exactly.”
They then sparred for an hour and a half until they both became tired.
“Whoo. I’m pooped. I’m gonna go to bed,” said Thomas, tiredly.
“Let me go check the cockpit, and then I’ll go to bed too,” replied Brianna.


Last edited by Jedi_Knight_707; 12-01-2005 at 01:46 AM.
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Old 11-15-2005, 07:59 AM   #23
Vladimir-Vlada
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Nice work! Excellente! Keep it up.
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Old 11-15-2005, 01:34 PM   #24
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good work jedi knight your really cool at writing
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Old 11-15-2005, 08:00 PM   #25
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Thank you I should have the update up in a few minutes/hours/days/monthes. Basically, soon

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Old 11-15-2005, 09:37 PM   #26
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Added a little part (sorry ForceFightWMe12 I kinda stole a leaf from your your book)

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Old 11-16-2005, 12:56 AM   #27
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Its good, but unfortunatly you have commited blashpemy to sci-fi: you used the Imperial System! (All sci-fi is metric)


Let's kill ourselves.
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Old 11-16-2005, 01:25 AM   #28
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NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! The horror!!!

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Old 11-16-2005, 07:35 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight_707
He suddenly felt hot anger
What?
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Old 11-16-2005, 02:09 PM   #30
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keep it up jedi knight! can you do the next chapter in 30 seconds
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Old 11-16-2005, 08:25 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by Vladimir-Vlada
What?
Well don't you think that if you saw your love of your life get shot by somebody, you'd feel just a tad bit pissed?

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Old 11-17-2005, 02:55 AM   #32
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Added a little. I gotta stop with all this romance. Anyway, update should be soon

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Old 11-17-2005, 07:07 AM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight_707
Well don't you think that if you saw your love of your life get shot by somebody, you'd feel just a tad bit pissed?
Well yes, but I wouldn't feel hot anger, I would be pissed off.
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Old 11-17-2005, 11:20 AM   #34
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oh suuuuure, great work ,BTW JK 707, cant wait for the new chapter. though, i think Atton's no sould be just a
NO!
instead of a cheesy, sith style
OH NOOOOOO!


Duct Tape is ALWAYS the answer

Last edited by RC 1162; 11-17-2005 at 11:45 AM.
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Old 11-17-2005, 10:22 PM   #35
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Just read the update, can't wait to see what is gonna happen


Let's kill ourselves.
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Old 11-18-2005, 12:49 AM   #36
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Originally Posted by RC 1162
oh suuuuure, great work ,BTW JK 707, cant wait for the new chapter. though, i think Atton's no sould be just a
NO!
instead of a cheesy, sith style
OH NOOOOOO!
Meh. I like it better with the cliche.

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Old 11-18-2005, 07:31 AM   #37
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have it your way, thats just my opinion


Duct Tape is ALWAYS the answer
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Old 11-20-2005, 08:36 PM   #38
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I'm not like trying to insult you, I just think that if I put 'NO!' it would be over in a few nano-seconds, but if I put 'NOOOOOOOO!!!!' then it kinda gives it the feeling

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Old 11-22-2005, 11:34 AM   #39
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yeah but when you read it, it looks like its supposed to be pronounced as MOOO! <= the cow's sound


Duct Tape is ALWAYS the answer
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Old 11-22-2005, 12:00 PM   #40
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Not funny. Sorry.

Last edited by Vladimir-Vlada; 11-22-2005 at 01:04 PM. Reason: Idiotic joke
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