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02-18-2006, 11:27 PM
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#1
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Narcissistic and mean
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,543
Current Game: New Vegas
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Razputin's Life:Chapter 2 (pt.2)
Refresh your memery:Lili is at the circus. She finds Milla at the circus.
" Milla!!" It was her! Lili's heart did flips over and over.
"Milla, why are you here?" Lili asked.
"Your father called me to come with you, darling!" Milla explained.
"Okay, lets go," Lili said. So, the two walked across the parking lot to the big tent,that was just starting the show.
"Hey,Milla?" Lili asked,"Why does this circus suck?"
Milla answered,"Because, it just does, sweetie."
---
Just then, the young boy, Raz, walked into the big tent.
"Okay. I'm ready."
End of Chapter 2
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02-18-2006, 11:32 PM
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#2
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that didnt last because i
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: i use my laptop from my bed 99% of the time
Posts: 2,068
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Only one god damn topic for your story.
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02-18-2006, 11:35 PM
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#3
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Bizarro
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Rapid City, SD
Posts: 4,196
Current Game: Mega Man
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Please... or make a blog and post chapters there, just please, please, please, quit making more or my companions in the educational god pantheon (that's right, I'm a god and a superhero, like Thor.) will beat on you. Like Albegra, god of math, and Kemiko, god of science.
As well as my personal lackeys Crammar and Punch-uation.
I'm done putting links in my signature because every time I do it just links to some old crap I've long since stopped updating.
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02-18-2006, 11:37 PM
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#4
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Narcissistic and mean
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,543
Current Game: New Vegas
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SHUT THE HECK UP!!! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, STOP READING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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02-18-2006, 11:39 PM
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#5
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Narcissistic and mean
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,543
Current Game: New Vegas
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Again, STOP READING IT!!! GOD!!!
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02-18-2006, 11:50 PM
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#6
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Bizarro
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Rapid City, SD
Posts: 4,196
Current Game: Mega Man
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I don't read it, I never do.
It's probably a good story, just don't make a new goddamn thread each time.
Don't make another one!
I'm done putting links in my signature because every time I do it just links to some old crap I've long since stopped updating.
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02-18-2006, 11:57 PM
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#7
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A Little Nugget
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Columbus
Posts: 13,421
Current Game: OFF
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OMG, it's so weird.....It reminds me of Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory.
"A few times in my life I've had moments of absolute clarity. When for a few brief seconds, the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I've lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be."
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02-19-2006, 12:16 AM
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#8
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that didnt last because i
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: i use my laptop from my bed 99% of the time
Posts: 2,068
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Only say it once!
We like it, but we want you to get better. You know, critique.
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02-19-2006, 12:18 AM
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#9
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A Little Nugget
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Columbus
Posts: 13,421
Current Game: OFF
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Yeah, what the crazy guy above me said!
"A few times in my life I've had moments of absolute clarity. When for a few brief seconds, the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I've lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be."
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02-19-2006, 12:22 AM
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#10
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Bizarro
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Rapid City, SD
Posts: 4,196
Current Game: Mega Man
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by KingCheez
Only say it once!
We like it, but we want you to get better. You know, critique.
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Do you have that game? I need it... I'm currently bidding on eBay for it...
I'm done putting links in my signature because every time I do it just links to some old crap I've long since stopped updating.
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02-19-2006, 12:23 AM
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#11
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that didnt last because i
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: i use my laptop from my bed 99% of the time
Posts: 2,068
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Stop being a whiny asshat about me having a few fits of ADD!
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02-19-2006, 12:25 AM
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#12
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Bizarro
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Rapid City, SD
Posts: 4,196
Current Game: Mega Man
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by KingCheez
Stop being a whiny asshat about me having a few fits of ADD!
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Yeah! I too be crazy but noone be insulting me! or else...
I'm done putting links in my signature because every time I do it just links to some old crap I've long since stopped updating.
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02-19-2006, 12:30 AM
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#13
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A Little Nugget
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Columbus
Posts: 13,421
Current Game: OFF
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What did I say???? I call everyone crazy. Mom, my science teacher, my future boyfriend(for giving that dang Allie a box of freggin' chocolates on Valentine's Day), everyone.
"A few times in my life I've had moments of absolute clarity. When for a few brief seconds, the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I've lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be."
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02-19-2006, 12:32 AM
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#14
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Bizarro
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Rapid City, SD
Posts: 4,196
Current Game: Mega Man
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Darth_Ave
What did I say???? I call everyone crazy. Mom, my science teacher, my future boyfriend(for giving that dang Allie a box of freggin' chocolates on Valentine's Day), everyone.
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OBJECTION! That doesn't excuse you! You owe us pie now.
I'm done putting links in my signature because every time I do it just links to some old crap I've long since stopped updating.
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02-19-2006, 12:35 AM
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#15
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A Little Nugget
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Columbus
Posts: 13,421
Current Game: OFF
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I'm sorry, I still have to afford the surgury. I've got some identity-stealing to do. He'll never know which one is the real Allie, the one to give the chocolates to, MWAHAHA!!!!!........sorry, it hurts me.
"A few times in my life I've had moments of absolute clarity. When for a few brief seconds, the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I've lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be."
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02-19-2006, 12:49 AM
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#16
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that didnt last because i
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: i use my laptop from my bed 99% of the time
Posts: 2,068
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Darth_Ave just shut up you call us crazy.
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02-19-2006, 12:54 AM
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#17
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A Little Nugget
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Columbus
Posts: 13,421
Current Game: OFF
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I'm not crazy, you're calling me crazy, I'm not crazy. I just want somthing I can never have and am planning to steal it from the snobby bitch who'm everyone loves and adores! I swear!!!How would you feel Cheez if your girlfriend didn't like you, and she never would go out with you because you a little different than everyone else. And by that she meant you were ugly, fat, and everything about you will never become anything important and she wished you were dead!
"A few times in my life I've had moments of absolute clarity. When for a few brief seconds, the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I've lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be."
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02-19-2006, 01:43 AM
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#18
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that didnt last because i
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: i use my laptop from my bed 99% of the time
Posts: 2,068
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I'm ugly and fat, it's called personality.
Seriously. Be funny, be weird in public, don't be afraid to do things, and it's all good.
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02-19-2006, 02:10 PM
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#19
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The Pitfall
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Steamboat Willie...'s pants
Posts: 2,655
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by zelda 41
SHUT THE HECK UP!!! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, STOP READING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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We have every right to critizice it. If we don't like the people beating up other people does that mean we should ignore it?
Okay, extreme and quite silly but you get my point.
I don't hate you, I don't think you suck, I'm not trying to attack you, I just think you need to brush up on your writing. If you need help get a beta. I am a beta myself and would be glad to guide you through writing techniques and such. |
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02-19-2006, 07:58 PM
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#20
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Rookie
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Whispering Rock
Posts: 49
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by zelda 41
SHUT THE HECK UP!!! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, STOP READING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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If this was posted in your own personal blog, that would be a valid complaint. But since you posted it in a public forum, it's open for critique.
No, there is not a thin line between love and hate. There is, in fact, a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every twenty feet between love and hate. - House
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02-19-2006, 08:20 PM
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#21
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The Pitfall
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Steamboat Willie...'s pants
Posts: 2,655
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by kaecla
If this was posted in your own personal blog, that would be a valid complaint. But since you posted it in a public forum, it's open for critique.
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Even then no. If this was in their personal diary yes. But once something is on the internet all hell breaks loose. |
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02-19-2006, 08:42 PM
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#22
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Bizarro
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Rapid City, SD
Posts: 4,196
Current Game: Mega Man
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Klia
Even then no. If this was in their personal diary yes. But once something is on the internet all hell breaks loose.
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One day God created the internet, and everyone viewed this as a bad idea.
I'm done putting links in my signature because every time I do it just links to some old crap I've long since stopped updating.
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