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Old 07-27-2006, 03:44 PM   #401
JediMaster12
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Ooo. A blaster to the face, nice touch. I like the banter that Jae and Jolee have
Quote:
“Timan’s obviously the leader in this group,” Jolee noted to me. “Let’s go see what kind of fun we can have harassing his ship.”

“I can think of better ways to have fun.”

“Yeah, well, he’s a little too injured for ‘fun’ right now. At least give the poor boy time to heal.”

“Jolee!”

“You really have to stop leaving me openings like that. Ah, here we are. Let’s see how many turrets we can take out and then get out of here.”
That was definitely another Bindo moment. What can I say, that is Jolee. Crazy old coot. Another Jae-rrific chapter and you have fed my curiosity for now if briefly. Now I have to deal with hanging off the edge of my chair waiting to see what happens next.

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Old 07-27-2006, 03:50 PM   #402
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Another good Chapter Jae Onasi. About time too.
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Old 07-27-2006, 05:35 PM   #403
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Gimme a second here, I need to make a new adjective... It was a very Jae-tagious chapter, I can hardly wait for the next one. But I thought the Echani were a little more honour-bound than to join in on a mutiny.


Let's kill ourselves.
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Old 07-27-2006, 05:47 PM   #404
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Thanks, everyone.
@Hall--Most Echani are more honor-bound types. However, like in every culture, there are those occasional bad-boy/bad-girl types.


From MST3K's spoof of "Hercules Unchained"--heard as Roman medic soldiers carry off an unconscious Greek Hercules on a 1950's Army green canvas stretcher: "Hi, we're IX-I-I. Did somebody dial IX-I-I?"

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Old 07-29-2006, 02:06 AM   #405
Jae Onasi
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Well, I posted a revision to ch. 16. I had to laugh when I saw the comments from my beta-reader--she caught a continuity error that none of us had caught. Originally, I had Jolee telling Jae that Reeca was now a Jedi archivist on Coruscant, and a little while later when he's telling the story where she falls off the cliff, Jae asks 'did she die?' It's been changed now. I also rewrote the Reeca story a bit to reflect their Force user skills better.
I also cleaned up a couple other minor things, so hopefully it flows better.

And I have about a page done in chapter 37. Maybe by the end of the weekend I'll have it done.
Thanks for reading!


From MST3K's spoof of "Hercules Unchained"--heard as Roman medic soldiers carry off an unconscious Greek Hercules on a 1950's Army green canvas stretcher: "Hi, we're IX-I-I. Did somebody dial IX-I-I?"

Read The Adventures of Jolee Bindo and see the amazing Peep Surgery
Story WIP: The Dragonfighters
My blog: Confessions of a Geeky Mom--Latest post: Security Alerts!
Love Star Trek AND gaming? Check out Lotus Fleet.

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Old 07-30-2006, 07:18 PM   #406
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Chapter 37

Well, folks, I finished up the last chapter. Hope you enjoy it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 37: The Final Battles

“We are,” Talin said. I turned to look at him, surprised. He was standing next to Master Supat, both of them with lightsaber blades glowing. While he still showed Scourge damage, he was more healed than not. At least one squad of Republic soldiers stood behind them, weapons trained on Timan’s troopers.

Talin? You’re OK!

For the most part. Master Supat heals fast. Now let’s get this over with.


Jolee cocked an eyebrow at me. “I guess Talin wanted some fun, too.”

I smiled briefly towards both of them.

Timan stood up, blaster still pointed at Jolee and me. “You’re still outnumbered. And now you’re going to be very dead.” He pulled the trigger.

Jolee and I dove away, the Force helping us to dodge the blaster bolts. The heat of the blaster fire burned past my arm, but I escaped being hit. I rolled, jumped up, and willed my lightsaber to fly to my hand. The XO lost his grip on it, and it sailed into my hand. I ignited the blade, deflecting several blaster bolts from Timan’s troopers who had opened fire the moment he tried to shoot.

Supat and Talin calmly waded into the fray, lightsabers whirling to strike the troopers or deflect their shots. Blaster bolts flew everywhere as Dodonna’s soldiers traded fire with those allied with Timan.

The XO ran at me with a vibrosword. I stepped out of the line of attack and he nearly ran past. I whirled my blade around to strike him as he passed, but he whipped his blade up to parry my lightsaber before it could hit him in the chest. He did a half-spin and tried to push my blade away and slip his sword under my guard. I released the hold on his blade and stepped back out of the way as his sword shot past, then thrust straight through his chest. His eyes shut as he fell to the floor. I looked around to assess the battle.

Master Supat, Talin, and Dodonna’s fighters had forced many of the troopers and officers that survived to surrender. They were quickly secured for transport to the brig.

Jolee was still fighting the captain, the experience of both men showing in the rapid exchange of parries and attacks. I hurried to join the fight when I saw Timan feint high and then trip Jolee. Jolee fell, landing hard on the ground with a grunt. Timan held the point of his vibrosword just above Jolee’s heart, both men breathing heavily after the fierce battle.

Timan looked at Jolee on the ground. “Well, Jedi, it seems I have you at my mercy.”

“Drop the sword, Timan,” I said. “If you try to kill him, I’ll be forced to kill you. You can still come out of this alive.”

Timan kept his sword on Jolee but moved towards his captain’s chair. “Seems we’re at an impasse, then. If I kill him, I’m dead, and I refuse to surrender. There’s only one other option I have, then.” He reached for a small control on his chair and pressed a button before I could move to stop him. Alarms started sounding through the ship.

“You’re going to self-destruct,” Jolee stated.

“Even better. I’ve just engaged my tractor beam on The Crusader. When this ship self-destructs, it’ll take Dodonna’s ship and all of us along with it.” Timan gave us a self-satisfied smile.

Concentrating and using every ounce of Force power I could muster, I engaged a stasis field around Timan. His will was strong, and he started to break down the field. Then I felt Talin and Master Supat join me, and Timan’s movements were stilled. He stood locked in place, glowering at us. One of the soldiers cuffed him.

I walked over to Jolee and pulled him up. “Are you OK?”

Jolee brushed himself off. “Nothing but my pride got injured there. I knew it was a feint but I went for it anyway.” He looked over to Master Supat and all of the soldiers. “Everyone who can needs to evacuate, now.” Those that weren’t injured grabbed their comrades who were and moved quickly towards the escape pods. Master Supat left, leading whomever he could to safety.

I went to the controls and tapped the tractor-beam controls. “Tractor beam’s not shutting down, Jolee.”

Jolee called Dodonna. “Forn, we’ve secured Timan. We’ve re-entered the program so you can use the shut-down code, but I don’t know how long it’ll be before it fully loads. Timan locked the tractor beam on you and entered the self-destruct. We’re trying to shut it down, but you may have to fire on the bridge to keep the ship from exploding and destroying all of us.”

“Understood. We won’t fire unless we absolutely have to. I’ll see if we can find any bypasses.”

“How soon before the self-destruct initiates?” he asked.

I looked over at the monitor. “Looks like two minutes. That’s not enough time to get everyone off the ship.” My heart sank. It wasn’t enough time to search every circuit to find the right one to disable the self-destruct, either.

Dodonna said, “We’re going to keep transmitting the shutdown code. You have 100 seconds, but I’d really like you out of there instead.”

“Can’t do it, Forn. They’re evacuating, but we can’t get people out fast enough. We have to try to stop this instead or a lot of innocent people will die. Now quit trying to change my mind and let me get to work.”

Dodonna considered that for a moment, and then said, “I’ll respect your decision, Jolee. May the Force be with you.”

Talin felt the wave of my emotion. He walked over, kissed the top of my head, and put an arm around me. “Focus. I know you can get the self-destruct disabled.”

I turned and met his eyes. “You need to get off the ship, Talin. I may not be able to stop it.”

“I’m not leaving you. We’ll work on it together. Feel through the circuits. We’ll both do part of it.” He gave me a crooked grin. “Besides, I can hardly walk right now. There’s no way I can make it to any of the escape pods. You’re stuck with me.”

I took a deep breath to let go of the worry. “All right. Let’s go to work.” We both slipped into a meditation state.

I flew along the maze of wires, searching, and saw Talin in a distance doing the same.

I could hear Jolee talking with Dodonna somewhere far away. “Sixty seconds. No luck yet, but we’re getting closer.”

“Shutdown still hasn’t initialized.”

Where’s the circuit…. I can feel it now. Coming closer, closer. Talin’s found it now, too. Thirty seconds left…

“They’ve found it, Forn. They’re trying to disable it now.”

Oh, so complicated. Trying to pry open the switch, but it’s locked down….

“Fifteen seconds, Jolee.”

“Almost there,” Jolee said. “Shutdown codes are working! Tractor beam’s down, power’s on emergency backup. I’m using emergency thrusters to move us away.”

But the self-destruct is still active! I can’t budge the switch! Time’s up!

“Self-destruct is still online. We have to fire, Jolee.”

“We’re moving away from each other. Just give us ten more seconds,” Jolee urged.

Countdown commencing, ten, nine, eight…Focus, focus…Talin’s power flowing, joining mine, pushing with our combined strength to break open the circuit….

“…three, two….”

“Hold fire! Hold fire! They shut it down!” Jolee yelled out.

Both of us dropped out of our meditation. Talin leaned against one of the workstations and slowly slid to the ground, exhausted. I sat down next to him and pulled him into my arms, gently embracing him. “I’m glad you decided to stay.”

He looked up at me and managed a tired smile. “I never want to leave you.”

* * *

Master Supat looked over my hands and dipped them in a small tub of kolto. “Miraxton did a lot of damage. However, a few hours here and they should be much better.”

Jolee said, “Actually, she did pretty darn good. He was throwing everything he had at her.”

“And without her efforts, we wouldn’t be here,” Admiral Dodonna said, striding into the medbay with one of her aides. She gestured for everyone to remain as they were.

“I saw Hoth Crystal surrender,” Jolee said.

“They saw the light when you took Timan’s ship. The captain wisely decided she didn’t want to fight a boarding party lead by Jedi. All three captains and the other officers involved are in the brig, and we’re interrogating them to find out the extent of the plot. I expect more arrests down the line.”

“Have the Hutts been warned?” Talin asked. He was resting in one of the medbay beds, the effects of the Scourge dissipating as he continued to heal.

“We advised them of Miraxton’s plans and your part in thwarting them. They want to offer Jolee, Talin, and you a freighter and supplies as thanks.”

Jolee sniffed. “Probably stolen from the Republic in the first place.”

“It’s the thought that counts,” I said.

“You didn’t come all the way down here just to tell us this, Forn,” Jolee said.

“I came personally to give Jae and Talin the Medal of the Sacrificial Heart for injuries sustained in service to the Republic. I never want to see anyone get hurt in service to the Navy or the Republic, but it is a deep honor to present these to you both.” She attached the medals on each of us. “In several days I will be holding an awards formation, and I will be presenting all four of you with the Naval Medal of Valor.”

“Forn, I don’t need any more doo-dads on my robe. I don’t want the Navy’s highest honor for doing what a Jedi is supposed to do.”

“We would not be here without your work. You’ve saved the Navy, Nal Hutta, and quite possibly the Republic from a terrible plot.” She smiled, “Besides, I don’t recall asking if you wanted it, Jolee. I’m awarding it because it’s the right thing to do. I want to show my people what valor truly means.”

“You’re telling me to just say ‘thank you’ and shut up?” Jolee asked.

She nodded once. “In a word, yes.”

“We’ll be there in our fancy dress robes, then.”

“Good. You’ll be informed where and when. I see Master Supat wants to continue his work, and it looks like fatigue has gotten the better of Talin, so I’ll leave you for now.” Dodonna and her aide left.

I looked over towards Talin, who was resting in one of the beds. “He’s healing fast. I won’t be able to tell how badly he was injured by the Scourge in a few more hours.”

Master Supat followed my eyes. “He’s remarkably motivated. Captain Onasi requested I fly up to his ship while you were down on Telos so that I could help with any healing. When Talin learned I was on board and then heard you two chattering about boarding Timan’s ship, he was adamant about getting healed to the point where he could help.”

“He hates kolto,” I said.

Jolee chuckled and gave me a meaningful look. “It wasn’t the kolto that was motivating him, Jae.”

I tried not to blush and failed miserably. “I suppose not.”

“I know it’s not.”

“All right, Jolee, your turn. Even Masters need attention,” Master Supat gestured for him to sit down and have his injuries healed.

I carried the kolto tub with me to go sit next to Talin. He cracked his eyes open a bit.

“It’s just me,” I said.

“You’re not ‘just’ anything.” He pulled me towards him gently, and when I leaned over and laid my head down on him, he cradled it.

“Just your love, then?”

“Just the one I want to be with forever, if you’ll let me.” He thought a moment and shook his head a bit. “You know, that was not the way I envisioned proposing. We can go out in a few days and I’ll do it right.”

“Do I have to wait that long to say yes?”

He smiled, tightened his arms around my shoulders, and tilted his head to give me a kiss.

* * *

The wait to meet with the Council on Coruscant seemed interminable. Jolee sat in one of the chairs, confident and serene. I looked out the window and down at the Thousand Fountains again, trying to center myself. Talin stood next to me, hands clasped behind his back, looking up into the sky.

He looked over at me after a few moments. “Pulling on your collar won’t make it any better,” he said, taking my hand from up at my neck and holding onto it. I felt the love flow, and it gave me peace.

One of the Padawans called us into the Council chambers.

Jolee stood up and winked. “Don’t forget to play it up for Vrook. Groveling will be even better.”

He walked into the Chambers. Talin and I followed, and he didn’t let go of my hand. We all made slight bows to the Council. There were more Masters there than I had ever seen before at one time, testifying to the gravity of our situation. Vash, Dorak, Vandar, and Kavar sat in meeting, as did Zez Kai-El, Atris, Zhar, and Vrook.

Master Vandar opened the proceedings. “We have gathered today to discuss a most unusual development, one that is very rare in the Jedi Order. We are reviewing the relationship between Jedi Talin and Padawan Jae, and, if they choose to continue with that relationship, whether they should remain members of this Order.”

Vrook gave us a severe look when he saw us holding hands. “I see your defiance of the Order’s rules extends even to these Council Chambers.”

I swallowed hard and Talin gave my hand a slight squeeze of encouragement. His face remained a neutral mask. I willed the peace and calm to flow in order to concentrate on the words and thoughts of the Council.

Jolee looked at Vrook for a moment, and then in a frosty voice said, “Are you always this crabby, Vrook, or is this just one of your good days?”

“I do not appreciate comments that border on disrespect, Jolee,” Vrook retorted. “We shall concentrate on the issue of violating the Order’s stand on attachments and whether Talin and Jae should remain in the Order.”

“Yes, we shall, because it would be wrong to separate them. Even you can see that both of them are far more centered and in tune with the Force than the last time all of us were here. That can only be a good thing. Yes, they’re in love, and their situation is rather unique. If you’ve read any of the records of the past months, you know it’s the will of the Force for them to be together. They’re connected on a deeper level than even the Sunriders were. The only conclusion you can come to is that they should remain together as members in the Order.”

Kavar looked at both Talin and me, leaning forward to address us. I could feel the concern coming from him in warm waves. “Are you sure you want to pursue this? It could turn out to be a very difficult path for both of you. The path of a Jedi can be hard enough without adding extra challenges.”

Talin and I looked at each other briefly and then back at Kavar. We answered in unison, “Yes.”

“You are aware that pursuing an attachment can and has led to expulsion from the Order?” Atris said, her severe look nearly matching Vrook’s.

“Yes, Master, we are,” I answered.

“They’re Jedi, Atris, not idiots,” Jolee snorted. “They read the rule book a long time ago.”

“I would like to know why you allowed this to continue once you knew what was happening,” Atris accused Jolee.

“Because I think the rule on attachments is stupid, made up by some clueless Jedi who never understood love. Yes, passion can be dangerous, but answer me this—how many Jedi would have turned to the dark side in the Mandalorian Wars if they’d been grounded in the love of those back home? How many would have destroyed planets full of families if they’d had families of their own? Yes, we need a certain detachment to do our job properly, but we need more empathy and understanding, not less, and we have failed in that more often than we like. We should be teaching Jedi how to handle the responsibilities and challenges of their relationships, not avoiding them altogether because we think those challenges are inconvenient.”

Vrook said, “By asking us permission to allow this relationship to continue, you are asking us to change generations of tradition. These rules were not put in place without reason.”

“We don’t know what reason the Masters had when they created that rule. For all we know, it could have been a Jedi who was rejected by someone he loved and decided to make some idiotic regulation in response. Laws certainly have been created for less reason than that.”

“As Jedi historian, I researched the origin of this rule. It does not specify one way or another, Jolee. It’s impossible to speculate on the intent of the Masters who created that rule,” Dorak said.

Jolee conceded that point and went on. “Understand, Vrook, I am not asking the Council permission for the relationship to continue. They have already decided they will continue their relationship, and more power to them. I’m asking that they be allowed to remain in the Order. There's nothing you can do to their love.”

Vash said, “This is a difficult situation. Very few of our Order ever marry or have close relationships. We are not prepared to give appropriate guidance because of our inexperience. Our mistakes could have deadly consequences.”

“And what would you do if this request is refused?” Zhar asked, looking at all of us.

“Be mindful of your thoughts,” Zez Kai-El added. “There is a fine line between defending your decisions and outright rebellion.”

“While we are very committed to this Order and have no desire to leave, we would unfortunately have to resign,” Talin replied without hesitation. “However, we will continue our work because the need for help won’t go away. The galaxy doesn’t care if we’re members of the Order.”

Kavar said, “Your actions defeating Miraxton, saving two battleships from destruction, and uncovering the mutinous plot within the Navy were commendable. It required a great deal of skill to accomplish all this, and you’ve done what good Jedi are supposed to do. It would be detrimental to the Order to lose any one of you, much less all three.”

Vandar, who had been contemplating the proceedings, finally spoke to us. “Your case has created considerable controversy. We have done a great deal of research in the archives, and we reviewed your reports of the Miraxton affair. We have spent much time meditating and discussing this. We have concluded that the connection between Jae and Talin cannot be denied. It has strengthened as their relationship deepened, and it has saved them and quite possibly the Republic from disaster. Few Jedi have ever had, for lack of a better term, this love-bond. The histories have shown that when separated, the Force brings those with this type of bond back together, despite all efforts to the contrary. It would be foolish for us to try to violate the will of the Force in this matter.”

Kavar looked at Talin and me and added, “We agreed that asking you to separate would be wrong. However, the truth remains that we are not well-equipped to train you two on how to balance your relationship with the needs of the Jedi and the ways of the Force.”

“Despite my better judgment, I am forced to agree with the Council’s decision that Jolee is the only one who has the experience necessary to guide you in this area,” Vrook said.

Vandar continued, “Jae and Talin, the Council has decided you will remain in the Order under the guidance of Master Jolee. Jolee, we hope you will continue their training. It is your responsibility to develop the great potential that we see in all of you.”

“I’ll be glad to have them stay with me. Are you seriously worried about me giving it anything but my best?”

Vrook growled, “We’re not worried about you not giving your best. We’re worried about what strange ideas you’ll be planting in fertile young minds.”

“I understand. I’ll try not to corrupt them too much. By the way, even you are invited to the wedding.”

Vrook lifted an eyebrow but held his peace.

“The Council is adjourned,” Master Vandar said. “May the Force be with us all.”

I managed to contain my excitement until the Council doors shut, and then I wrapped my arms around Talin, joy radiating out to all of us. He picked me up in a bear hug, set me down again, and planted a solid kiss firmly on my lips. It deepened, and we didn’t let go until we had to breathe again.

He looked in my eyes, brushing a lock of hair of hair to the side, then kissed my forehead and murmured, “I love you.”

I hugged him tight. “I love you, too.”

Jolee had wandered over to the window to look out at the Fountains, but finally cleared his throat to get our attention. “This is probably not the best place to get all kissy-face,” Jolee pointed out. “You already made them nervous enough just holding hands. Let’s go see Mik’oth and give him the news. If we’re lucky, he might not even charge us for dinner.”

The reception from Mik’oth was no less effusive than any other time, and he was as colorfully dressed as usual.

“Hey, Tail-headed Tornado, didn’t anyone tell you that orange and purple plaid is a little over the top?” Jolee called out.

“Ah, it’s the Wonder! You know how I love to try the latest styles. And here is my favorite Padawan!! And my dear friend Jedi Talin!” Mik’oth came straight over to us, hugging Jolee and Talin and then kissing me loudly on both cheeks. “You both look no worse for the wear. What’s this?” he spied the ring on my hand.

I gave him a shy smile. “A betrothal ring,”

“Ha! I knew it the moment you two came in.” He peered closer at the ring. “Alderaan Blaze Sapphire, eh? A rare stone for a rare beauty. It matches the color of your eyes, you know. He chose something worthy of you. I approve. And I’m very happy for you.” Mik’oth smiled at me, then turned and poked Talin in the ribs. “You devil you, you’ve taken one of my greatest dancing possibilities off the market. When’s the big day? I have to clear my calendar for the reception! Let’s go sit down and celebrate.” He found a table for all of us, and then dashed off for meals and drinks.

“We don’t have a choice on where the reception is, do we?” Talin asked Jolee.

“Not unless you really want to upset Mik’oth,” Jolee answered.

“If he’s like this when he’s happy, I hate to see what he’s like when he’s mad,” I said.

“It’s very scary, trust me. I know.”

Mik’oth returned, poured us all champagne, and then sat down. “It’s Telosian, very rare. The vineyards in the Restoration zones are still small, but the Ithorians have cultivated an amazing wine grape that creates this exquisite delight for us. Cheers.” We raised our glasses and then sipped the champagne, savoring the subtle flavors.

“So, have you decided on a date yet?” Mik’oth asked.

“Six weeks. The Council has a mission for us in two months, and we want to have time for a honeymoon,” Talin told him.

“My, you took me at my word when I said I hoped it wouldn’t take you too long to figure it out.” Mik’oth pulled out a datapad and tapped on it a couple times. “Perfect! I’m free that day! Someone can marry you at that stuffy Jedi Temple, and then you can come straight here and have some real fun.”

“We’d like you to join us in the ceremony, too, as one of Jolee’s best friends,” I said.

Mik’oth was overwhelmed. “What a wonderful honor! Of course, anything! Oh, dear, now I have to find something to wear!”

“You look like you’re going to cry, Mik’oth. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you quite so emotional,” Jolee said.

“If they name their children after me, I will cry.” He smiled broadly and looked at Jolee. “You know, we’re going to have to take bets on how soon the first little one comes along.”

“Come on, Mik’oth, you’ll embarrass them,” Jolee replied. Then he grinned. “Put me down for two years.”

Mik’oth studied us for a few moments. “I say nine months after the wedding.”

“Six months,” I chimed in, smiling broadly.

All three of them were stunned motionless, mouths agape in silence, staring at me.

I couldn’t contain my laughter any longer at their looks of utter surprise. “I’m joking!”

Talin shook his head, smiled and then drew me in close. “I think I’m going to be selfish and keep you all to myself for awhile.”

“Jae, it’s against the Jolee Jedi code to give your master a heart attack like that! You could kill me with that kind of joke.”

I grinned back at him. “Jolee, you’re way too ornery to die. Besides, I have a feeling the Force is going to keep the three of us busy for quite some time to come.”


From MST3K's spoof of "Hercules Unchained"--heard as Roman medic soldiers carry off an unconscious Greek Hercules on a 1950's Army green canvas stretcher: "Hi, we're IX-I-I. Did somebody dial IX-I-I?"

Read The Adventures of Jolee Bindo and see the amazing Peep Surgery
Story WIP: The Dragonfighters
My blog: Confessions of a Geeky Mom--Latest post: Security Alerts!
Love Star Trek AND gaming? Check out Lotus Fleet.

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Old 07-30-2006, 07:21 PM   #407
Jason Skywalker
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Oh, the irony! I only started to read your fic when it was at the end! This is really good, you captured Jolee's personality really well, good luck to other fics! If you write them that is.
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Old 07-30-2006, 07:42 PM   #408
Snafu7
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Great job with the last chapter Jae, you did a great job ending it(of course you did a great job on all of the other chapters as well ).
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Old 07-30-2006, 09:44 PM   #409
JediMaster12
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Happy endings!
I especially how Jolee insults Vrook. The comment on the grovelling was something good too. I had a feeling Mik'oth would want to make it the biggest party ever.
This was a good story Jae.

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Old 07-31-2006, 01:54 AM   #410
Jae Onasi
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Thank you, folks!

@Jason--that's OK, you can always catch up. It's not going anywhere, and I'm going to Archive it as well.

I'll likely write another story at some point just because I've discovered it's a lot of fun to do, but this one took me over 5 months to complete and I still have the revisions to do on it for KFM, so I'm going to take a little break.


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Old 07-31-2006, 03:30 AM   #411
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i loved the last chapter, and every other chapter as well. great story, Jae .

BTW: any spoilers for the next story?


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Old 07-31-2006, 07:22 AM   #412
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Great Finale Jae. I'm looking foward to your next Fic (If you write one that is).
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Old 07-31-2006, 10:45 AM   #413
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Thanks, guys.

I wish I could give you a spoiler, RC, but I have absolutely no idea what to do at this point. I've thought about continuing with Jolee, Jae, and Talin, and I've thought about going back a little in time and do a story about Jolee when he's a Padawan during the Ukatis blockade, and work out how he meets Mik'oth and his wife. Probably the former, because I'm comfortable writing for those characters now.


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Old 07-31-2006, 10:57 PM   #414
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A spectacular finale Jae. I really enjoyed reading the whole story. I hope I can do as well with mine. I'm actually attempting to write the ending now and it's kind of throwing me for a loop. Can't decide how I want to end things.


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Old 08-01-2006, 09:33 AM   #415
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Top notch superb job Jae. In fact this has my vote for best Fic I have read so far in these forums. Only problem is that it is over now I so enjoyed this story, and I hope your next Fic is a continuation of this one. Can't wait for you to get started.

"I hear you on the break thing. I got so burned out with Crystal of life, but I really need to get back and finish it now. Although I doubt anyone cares anymore. "


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Old 08-02-2006, 12:21 AM   #416
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Thank you!
@JediAthos--some of the chapters evolved as I wrote them, others I had a definite endpoint in mind. When I was writing the Sith Lord battle, for instance, I thought I knew where I wanted to go, and in some respects it was governed by the vision, but right in the middle of it, it took a right turn down the dark side path, and I just followed it along. Sometimes an idea will hit you as you write, so I say just start writing whatever. If you don't like it, you can always hit the delete key. I've dumped 2 or 3 entire chapters in this story, a number of paragraphs, and countless lines just because they didn't work well or fit the story right or were just plain stupid.

"
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I hear you on the break thing. I got so burned out with Crystal of life, but I really need to get back and finish it now. Although I doubt anyone cares anymore. "
*Jae whaps RP over the head with a pillow for saying that*
Of _course_ we care about it!!! Now get back to work!!
Seriously, do what you gotta do, but I guarantee you everyone who's been reading it wants to see you finish it.
And I'll mull over some of the ideas that have been floating around in my head today and perhaps put something together, but it'll be awhile yet. I want to get as much of the revision done as I can before tackling another entire story.

Thanks again, everyone!!


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Old 08-02-2006, 04:16 AM   #417
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Quote:
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"I hear you on the break thing. I got so burned out with Crystal of life, but I really need to get back and finish it now. Although I doubt anyone cares anymore. "
I do. I'm still waiting for it to be completed.

Congrats Jae on having over 6,000 views.

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Old 08-02-2006, 02:34 PM   #418
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I haven't looked at this for too long now, but I'm glad that the quality is, if not improving, at least remaining on a very high level. Keep up the great work.

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Old 08-02-2006, 06:21 PM   #419
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Just one question Jae, will you post this in the Jedi Archives? It would be one of the best Fics to read there, without having to scroll down all the comments, etc. I could use a good read over this Summer Holiday (Which I'm in at the moment).

Edit: I think that you should do a Sequel to this with Jolee, Jae and Talin. Jolee could mention about how he met Mik'oth in a Chapter. Also, I hope your next Fic is written in this style. I think first-person suits you. If Jae and Talin have any kids, if it is a boy, they could name it after Jolee. Jolee Onasi. It has a nice ring to it.

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Old 08-03-2006, 12:19 AM   #420
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Thanks, guys.

I started working on the FIN version, but it'll take me a day or 2 to finish because it's so long. It'd probably go faster if I didn't look through the chapters as I posted them and tinker with things. The joys of being a perfectionist.

Yes, 6000 is a _big_ number, and I certainly do appreciate people looking it over.

I'll probably do a sequel, but I don't know if I'll do it in 1st person or not. It'd be nice to have the continuity, but there's some things I'd like to be able to do that I can only do in 3rd.
A baby girl could be named Jolie. They have to get married first, though. I'm a traditionalist. Babies need two parents around.

Chapter 6 has the story where Mik'oth and Jolee meet, btw. It's brief but it's there.

Thanks!


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Old 08-03-2006, 02:21 AM   #421
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Quote:
Originally Posted by post #406
“Because I think the rule on attachments is stupid, made up by some clueless Jedi who never understood love. Yes, passion can be dangerous, but answer me this—how many Jedi would have turned to the dark side in the Mandalorian Wars if they’d been grounded in the love of those back home? How many would have destroyed planets full of families if they’d had families of their own? Yes, we need a certain detachment to do our job properly, but we need more empathy and understanding, not less, and we have failed in that more often than we like. We should be teaching Jedi how to handle the responsibilities and challenges of their relationships, not avoiding them altogether because we think those challenges are inconvenient.”
I think this is a key statement that illustrates one of the main reasons why I like this story so much. Jolee's views on how the Jedi should operate seem so much better to me. The concept of embracing and learning to deal with natural human emotions like love instead of pushing them away seems much more pragmatic and beneficial. IMHO, the Jedi Order should follow Jolee's philosophy, not one that nobody can remember the reasons for why it was put in place to begin with.


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Old 08-03-2006, 09:51 AM   #422
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Thanks. I think the fear was that a loved one would be kidnapped or killed, the Jedi would get mad, turn to the darkside, and voila, a bad Jedi. Or they're in the middle of some dangerous mission and get a call that their child is badly injured in an accident, and the Jedi gets distracted from the mission. However, those are situations the Jedi could have taught their Padawans to handle or make arrangements to work around the problems.


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Old 08-04-2006, 03:54 AM   #423
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Excellent last two chapters Jae. I love the Khanesque shields part of the plot.


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Old 08-04-2006, 03:19 PM   #424
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I forgot that they had done that in Wrath of Khan. You'd think I'd remember that since I love that movie.
However, I figured, rightly or wrongly, that someone very high up in the Navy would have a key to the ship, so to speak, along with the captain, but that information would be highly guarded to prevent enemies from taking control inappropriately.


From MST3K's spoof of "Hercules Unchained"--heard as Roman medic soldiers carry off an unconscious Greek Hercules on a 1950's Army green canvas stretcher: "Hi, we're IX-I-I. Did somebody dial IX-I-I?"

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Old 08-16-2006, 04:02 PM   #425
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Jae Love the story, i have read it 3-4 times and it getts better every time

just a side note to point out tho... during the fight with miraxton Jolee throws a Green saber when his is purple (from the training sequinces in chapter 1 or 2) and i think the word shutta is more like the female dog veriant when poo doo is more along the lines of crap... for IE Bantha poo doo insted of bantha shutta....

but thats just me =)

love the story, eagrly looking forward to the next one
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Old 08-16-2006, 11:07 PM   #426
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Needless to say. This is the best fic I have ever read. I can't wait for your next work Jae. And BTW you now have the 2nd most viewed Fic in Lucas Forums history. Not far behind the Plight of darkness.


Some other really awesome Fanfics: Hidden shades of grey By JasraLantill, The Adventures of Jolee Bindo By Jae Onasi[/size]
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Old 08-17-2006, 10:21 PM   #427
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Thanks Rain--once is great, 3 or 4 times is quite a compliment. Thanks for letting me know about the lightsaber color--I'll get that fixed.

@RP--Thank you! Heh, I have, what, only 5000 to go to catch up with FFWM?

I'm thinking of doing a sequel where the trio have to go investigate a Force disease, but I want to get the rest of the revisions on this one done before I send them out on another adventure. Unless the Muse grabs me by the ear and tells me I just have to start writing it.


From MST3K's spoof of "Hercules Unchained"--heard as Roman medic soldiers carry off an unconscious Greek Hercules on a 1950's Army green canvas stretcher: "Hi, we're IX-I-I. Did somebody dial IX-I-I?"

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Old 08-18-2006, 02:42 AM   #428
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Renegade does a little indian dance in the attempt of summoning the muse.

Renegade: [Persuade] You will write the first chapter of your new story soon Jae.

Jae: [Resist] Quit bothering me and looking at me with those crazy eyes Renegade, or else I will have to sic Jimbo on you.


Some other really awesome Fanfics: Hidden shades of grey By JasraLantill, The Adventures of Jolee Bindo By Jae Onasi[/size]
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Old 08-22-2006, 01:37 AM   #429
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It took a few hours, but I just read your fan fic, Jae. A most excellent job on it! You make me regret more than ever how Jolee died. And a superb portrayal of his and Mik'oth's personalities! The dialogue with them made me laugh out loud a few times. You also had the lowest count of inaccuracies I've seen yet. I am definitely looking forward to future fics you will write!

Last edited by Emperor Devon; 08-22-2006 at 03:10 AM. Reason: Blasted typos!
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Old 08-22-2006, 07:40 AM   #430
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Quote:
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...how Jolee died...

What when!?!
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Old 08-22-2006, 07:57 AM   #431
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Quote:
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What when!?!
If Revan falls to the Dark Side and he has to kill both Jolee and Juhani.
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Old 08-22-2006, 09:55 AM   #432
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What a great fic!

I read all of it today...quite a lot!
One of the best fics I've ever read. Infact, there is only one that can compete with this!

Hope you're already busy with a new fic!
Are you?
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Old 08-22-2006, 03:42 PM   #433
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If Revan falls to the Dark Side and he has to kill both Jolee and Juhani.

Thats "if" and according to her story Reven didnt...
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Old 08-22-2006, 03:51 PM   #434
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Quote:
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Thats "if" and according to her story Reven didnt...
You misunderstand me, you asked when Revan dies (Because ED regreted making Jolee die) and I told you that the only time Jolee dies is when Revan joins the Dark Side near the end of KOTOR and he has to kill both him and Juhani.
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Old 08-22-2006, 04:41 PM   #435
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain128
What when!?!
Regardless of Revan's actions, Jolee dies eventually. Whether it's from natural causes or a lightsaber through the chest is a different matter.
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Old 08-22-2006, 05:30 PM   #436
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Thanks, everyone!

I have no doubt that even after dying, Jolee would be just as ornery.

I have my little ideas for another story with the trio, but I have to sit down and outline a bit and figure out where I want to go with it, now that I'm beginning to have a vague clue about writing something as long as this. I still have the revisions of the chapters to do for KFM (I'm at ch. 16 there and working on 17), and my beta-reader is very good and makes me work hard to make them better--that involves almost as much time as writing the initial chapters, sometimes more. I hate leaving projects unfinished, even if it takes awhile to get them done, and I'm learning a ton revising those chapters, so I want to make sure to finish that. A couple of them would never forgive me if I left them hanging in the middle of the story.

Mik'oth of course would have to make a return appearance. He's too fun not to have around. I don't know that I could stand to have His Smarminess join the trio and become a main character--he's better as an occasional contact. Otherwise, it'd be sort of like having mounds of icing on the cake instead of nice thin layer that doesn't overpower.


From MST3K's spoof of "Hercules Unchained"--heard as Roman medic soldiers carry off an unconscious Greek Hercules on a 1950's Army green canvas stretcher: "Hi, we're IX-I-I. Did somebody dial IX-I-I?"

Read The Adventures of Jolee Bindo and see the amazing Peep Surgery
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Old 08-22-2006, 05:56 PM   #437
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I don't mean to be annoying or anything, but I have an idea for a Sequel. It could be set with Jae and Talin having a baby and it is being targeted by a new Sith Lord. Jolee would be there, along with Mik'oth, like you said. Also, no offense, but I think the title needs to be better too. The Adventures of Jolee Bindo didn't really suit the story. I would also like the story set in 1st Person again. It's up to you though. Hope the Sequel goes well (If it is written that is).
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Old 08-22-2006, 06:15 PM   #438
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Pottsie, how could you possibly be annoying offering help?

They could have a baby down the line, the Force signature would certainly attract something bad. I can even imagine a Bindo branch of the Order.

I was thinking of sending them off to find out about a Force disease--perhaps a few Jedi succumbed, and they have to figure out what's doing it and why.

I know the title doesn't fit the story anymore. When I started it, I meant to make it more Jolee focused, with him telling little stories as they went through similar experiences, and Jae and Talin would have almost a side role. Then I decided 'hmm, I should have them go on a quest.' Then the story took a big turn from my initial concept into something completely different, and I went along for the ride. I just didn't feel like changing the title.
The next one will have a title that fits better, theoretically, since I'll have an outline of it beginning to end rather than doing an outline in the middle of the story after I've realized that the story has gone way farther than I ever imagined.

And yes, Revan was LSM in my story.


From MST3K's spoof of "Hercules Unchained"--heard as Roman medic soldiers carry off an unconscious Greek Hercules on a 1950's Army green canvas stretcher: "Hi, we're IX-I-I. Did somebody dial IX-I-I?"

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Old 08-22-2006, 06:21 PM   #439
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No problem and I'd like to thank you in a way. You've been a great help to me and I think you've been a big help to other Writers around here too. I hope your next Fic goes well for you.
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Old 08-22-2006, 06:23 PM   #440
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jae Onasi
Mik'oth of course would have to make a return appearance. He's too fun not to have around.
I definitely agree. His lines about Jae becoming a dancer were amusing, but when his mentioning of having a good outft for her was coupled with how I sometimes pictured your avatar to look like Jae, it produced some truly disturbing images in my head.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jae Onasi
And yes, Revan was LSM in my story.
It would be interesting were you to include him in your next one. Your story sounds like it took place before TSL, and I was wondering what he was off doing while a Sith Lord was attempting to kill off the Hutts.
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