Electric sheep joke

Once upon a time, there was a farmer who was showing his farm off to a visiting news reporter. Out in the animal pens, he was pointing out his prized livestock. 'That's my blue-ribbon geese,' he said proudly.

The reporter walked up to the geese and asked them, 'So, what is life like here on the farm?'

To the farmer's utter astonishment, the geese replied, 'Fine, fine. We get lots of feed, and the farmer keeps us safe from coyotes.'

'Uhm,' said the farmer, 'I didn't know geese could talk.'

'Why, of course they can!' laughed the reporter. 'So can this cow, too!'

'Yes, indeed,' spoke the cow. 'And I would just like to say that I get plenty of hay, but what I'd really like is some corn!'

By now the farmer was aghast. His animals were talking.

'Heck, they all talk,' the reporter went on. 'Let's go over there and talk to the sheep--!'

But before he could get there, all of the sheep emitted enormous bolts of electricity amongst themselves, crackling fiercely in the afternoon sun, then burst into flames.

'I forgot to tell you,' said the farmer, 'I have electric sheep.'



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'Oh, no--you did not shoot that green s**t at me!'

I don't get it

Oh.

Howzabout this one, then?

Q: 'How many electric sheep does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'

A: 'Zero--electric sheep provide their own illumination.'

Or even...

Q: What do you call an electric sheep with no legs?

A: Grounded.

[Rogue Nine]

I think Zoomie's been drinking again...

[milkshake]

Correction, Zoomie HAS been drinking again

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Self proclaimed Forum 90's Dude
milkshake@milkshake.co.uk

'Now, if I could just say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker.

[Admiral Zaarin]

Second Correction: Zoomie has immersed himself in a tank of pure alcohol again.<font size=-2>

[This message has been edited by Admiral Zaarin (edited February 20, 2001).]

[Psycho Tycho]

That reminds me of Pokémon. There's an electric sheep called Mareep.

<font size=1>

[This message has been edited by Psycho Tycho (edited February 20, 2001).]

Baa! Baa! *Fzap! Crackle!* Ba-aa!

[Admiral]

shots the sheep in the head. Problem solved.

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"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

*(Static backcharge electrocutes Admiral)*

When are you going to learn that the animals I bring onto the forum are A: dangerous, and B: infinite?

*(Cloned electric sheep arrive in large numbers. The power supply problem for California is solved.)*

Zen electric sheep riddle:

'What is the sound of one electric sheep arcing?'

[Rogue Nine]

Go away, Zoom.

[Darth Sceltor]

*Shakes head in amusement/wonderment*

[Andromeda]

a better sheep joke:

a blond woman gets sick of all of the blond jokes and everyone making fun of her so she dyes her hair brown. one day she is driving along a country road when she spies a sheep farm, with the shepherd out with the herd. she pulls over her car and walks to the fence.
she calls out to the shepherd, "if i can guess how many sheep you have, can i pick one and take it home with me?"
the shepherd agrees to this, thinking she won't guess the number.
the blond says, "you have 342 sheep."
the farmer is flabbergasted. "that's right!" he exclaims.
"can i pick my sheep now?" the blond asks.
"i suppose," says the farmer, and she picks out the cutest sheep from among the herd.
the farmer thinks for a minute and then says to the blond, "if i can guess your natural hair color, can i have my dog back?"

hahahaha

[Admiral]

ha ha

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"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

[Rogue Nine]

That's byoo-tee-ful, Andy.

[Admiral Zaarin]

That's the best blond joke I've heard in a long time.

[Commander 598]

Zoom=Very Bad Joke
Andy=Much better joke thatn Zoom


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"Oh, yes I did shoot that green s**t at you!"

I agree one hundred percent. I was going to say that the best joke yet was NOT by zoom!

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"Intensify forward firepower!!"

[Keyan Farlander]

This thread is...really weird.

yeah i could tell any number of sheep jokes but the ones i know would probably get not only my ip banned but milkshakes, coffees, etc... aswell so i wont

rather pointless post really

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"Life - dont talk to me about life"

...But I'm not finished yet!

Q: why did the electric sheep cross the road?

A: Negative sheep charge on the other side.

Outta here! *Zoom!*

[Gold leader]

I got a much better blond joke:

A blond woman goes to the barber's and says: "I'd like to get a haircut." And the barber says: "How do you want it?" The blonde: "Just a bit shorter please. And watch out that you don't cut through that small black wire."
The barber starts cutting. But after a while he suddenly gets distracted and cuts right through the wire. He thinks by himself: "I hope she didn't notice anything. I'll just carry on and pretend that nothing has happened."
Thus the barber continues to barber his client. But after a few minutes, the woman falls out of her chair and lies still on the floor. The barber tries to keep his head cool and checks her pulse. He comes to the awful conclusion that she's dead. But when he sees that the cut wire leads to a walkman that now lies next to the body, his fear changes into curiosity. He puts the tape in a stereo and hears: "Breathe in.........breathe out.......breathe in........breathe out......."



[This message has been edited by Gold leader (edited February 21, 2001).]

I'll bet Gold Leader's seen a few electric sheep in his day! *(Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.)*

Actually, the punch line to the very first sheep joke at the top is supposed to be: (instead of the sheep catching on fire.)

The farmer said, 'No, consarnit--everyone knows that sheep lie!'

Gee, I'm glad I'm not a) blonde or b) a sheep

I like blondes, but I'm ambivalent toward sheep.

Electric sheep, on the other hand, are loads of fun!

Mary had a little lamb;
its fleece was white as snow.
But when it rained, the power grid the lamb was bound to blow!

[Rogue Nine]

Oh Lordy...

Do I smell burning lanolin? *Sniff!*

[Cmdr. Cracken]

i'm scared.

I'm scared that Zoom is out there.... somewhere.... doing who know what...........

[Keyan Farlander]

I nearly electrocute myself on a weekly basis in my electric circuit lab for school. I suck

[Psycho Tycho]

<font color="yellow">Yeah.</font>

[Admiral]

I agree.

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"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

'If a sheep in the woods is struck by lightning, and there's no one around to hear it...what does this say about the conductivity of sheep?'

Also, I would like to mention that Thomas Edison was known to experiment with wool as a filament material for his most famous invention, the lightbulb.

*(Runs and hides)*

[Darth Sceltor]

*Thinks of the BABE movies for some reason*

BAAAAAAAH RAM EWE!

what happens when it rains on your sheep -- one who is named after a pod racer

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Leader of 3 Flight
Don't Click Here=&gt;
Behold the Smiley of Death, Cower in my Shadow, Unworthy ones.

[Admiral]

well I did, and I don't think it was annoying, All I did was hold down the enter key.......find a funnier one next time.

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"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb

heres a new one but its not much better, if you know of any others tell me, i'll post them in RS.net first

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Leader of 3 Flight
Don't Click Here=&gt;
Behold the Smiley of Death, Cower in my Shadow, Unworthy ones.

a sheep joke (sorry, not electric though my zoom bit)

warning: this joke has been posted by myself on this same forum many many moons ago

<font size=+3> Q. </font size=+3> <font color="red">what is the difference between a rolling stones song and a scottish shepherd?</font color="red">

<font size=+3> A. </font size=+3> <font color="white">the rolling stones song says "hey you, get offa my cloud!" and the scottish shepherd says "hey McLeod, get offa my ewe!"</font color="white">

ewwww

[Admiral]

bad image, very bad image. thanks a lot Ros, you gave me a very bad pic.

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"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
(Sweet is war to those who have never experinced it.) Roman Proverb