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Old 01-10-2007, 03:44 PM   #1
JediMaster12
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[Poem] Asking for Forgiveness

This is a poem that I wrote at the spur of the moment for KFM. It involves Revan asking Carth to forgive her for being Darth Revan.

Asking for Forgiveness

I know you feel the pain inside
And in your heart your thoughts divide
You seek to know a darkened truth
Where lies an existent root

Of hurtful lies and painful words
That once flew away with graceful birds
I met you and you met me
It seemed that it was meant to be

We shared the burden with a hope
In order our enemies be smote
We fought and bled side by side
Growing strong as a rising tide

Still you harbored in your heart
Distrust that threatened not to part
To conquer we fought again
And start anew we began

Time went by and you showed me
A concern and fierce sense of loyalty
Just before our pain and torment
You told me how much to you I meant

Your words were simple yet distinct
And inside my heart turned pink
I carried that feeling through the cell
How long only Time could tell

Up until that fateful meet
We walked a determined beat
Then you found out who I am
And your face turned mad

I wish that I could stop the clock
But tis a memory you cannot block
Now I wait in painful silence alone
And hope you let your true feelings show

I ask that you give me a chance
To tread this difficult dance
I wish that it wasn’t true
But now it is up to you

I wait here in my chosen space
Waiting to again take my place
For I long to say from my heart the truth
That I have come to care deeply for you

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Old 01-10-2007, 03:50 PM   #2
Grey Master
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WOW. One of the best poems that I have read (and I have read many), you have a very good talent with poetry, I liked it very much!
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Old 01-10-2007, 03:54 PM   #3
JediMaster12
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Thank you. This was from a long time ago when I first started writing for KFM. I have been thinking of a response but my mind hasn't gotten any vibes yet from the waves of creativity.

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Old 01-10-2007, 03:55 PM   #4
Diego Varen
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And Grey Master, don't forget that JM12 is a very talented writer and I prefer the Shorties she writes. Anyway, this is a good poem and I liked the way the poem flowed, with its rhymes and all. If you have anymore poems for us JM12, I'd like to see them.
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Old 01-10-2007, 04:07 PM   #5
JediMaster12
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Well there is the thread I created called Blessings of the Written Word. It is in the Outer Rim forum. It was created to accomodate Cygnus' daily dosage of fawning at my feet. There are poems reflecting things that I have seen or have read. I have one that I wrote for when a friend of mine died but I hesitate to post it. It still makes me cry at times. I will try to write a response to this poem from Carth.

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Old 01-10-2007, 06:39 PM   #6
Jason Skywalker
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Ah, very good JediMaster, well done! Lovely and emotional. Nothing for you to improve.
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Old 01-11-2007, 01:48 PM   #7
JediMaster12
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That's the beauty of poetry Jason Skywalker. There is nothing to correct in terms of grammar because I believe it has to come from the heart.

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Old 01-14-2007, 05:56 AM   #8
Rabish Bini
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grey Master
WOW. One of the best poems that I have read (and I have read many), you have a very good talent with poetry, I liked it very much!


Great job! Keep it up! :clap:


Yes
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Old 01-14-2007, 06:17 AM   #9
The_Catto
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Great work indeed. I love poetry nearly as much as i love writing full-fledged stories. There's just some things in stories you can't express as better than what can be written in a poem.

You write extremely well. And (hopefully, im not being to rude in saying this, but).

In your thread 'Blessing of the Written Word', the one what i posted ('An Ending Serenade'), it was about my friend, and me, losing someone very close to us. She was dear to me, and i wrote that in memory of her.
And i found that, in posting it, and sharing it with other people, it helped considerably well, in helping me getting through that hard time. Because it made me acknowlege that i can still see her, and talk to her, even though i can't see her physical appearence, it still helps.
(Just some helpful advice. I dont know if that will help, but it did help me, and hopefully, it can work for you. ........ Again, i'm sorry if i was rude in saying that )

Great work once again, JM12. And i hope you post a reply from Carth

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