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Old 05-23-2007, 12:55 PM   #401
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The WHO got killed by SARS. Another SARS outbreak becomes a worldwide epidemic, and suddenly nobody is safe.

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Old 07-13-2007, 10:56 AM   #402
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A bunch of chickens start using their hidden genius and develop a spray that eradicates all SARS viruses.


Duct Tape is ALWAYS the answer
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Old 05-21-2008, 04:01 AM   #403
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BARBEQUE


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Old 05-21-2008, 05:06 AM   #404
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The chicken's hidden genius allows them to develop a heat resistant skin that defies barbecuing.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-21-2008, 11:09 PM   #405
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Chicken is run over by a 16-wheeler while crossing the road.


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Old 05-22-2008, 12:04 AM   #406
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A hairpin turn causes the rig to drive right off the cliff b/c he can't break in time.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-22-2008, 04:28 AM   #407
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The driver had an emergency parachute for exactly such situations.


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Old 05-22-2008, 05:44 AM   #408
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Unfortunately, he forgot to pack it and was squashed dead when the rig hit the canyon floor, cab first.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:06 PM   #409
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We realise that he was in fact, a Hollywood stuntsman in a fantastic action movie and is in fact, not dead.


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Old 05-22-2008, 01:38 PM   #410
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However, he later chokes to death after eating a sandwich from the caterer on set.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-22-2008, 02:12 PM   #411
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The caterer is charged for homicide.


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Old 05-22-2008, 04:37 PM   #412
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Being a Hollywood bigshot, the caterer hires the best legal defense $$ can buy and is acquitted of any complicity in the stuntman's death.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-22-2008, 06:37 PM   #413
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Then the caterer is sniped by Obama
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Old 05-22-2008, 07:06 PM   #414
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Then the caterer's ghost came back and devoured Obama's soul.


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When all is said and done, too many people keep on saying and doing.
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Old 05-22-2008, 11:22 PM   #415
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Whodjagonnacall? GHOSTBUSTERS!


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Old 05-23-2008, 02:20 AM   #416
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Who are then slain by the Stay Puff Marshmellow Man.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-24-2008, 04:37 PM   #417
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Stay Puft is kidnapped, strapped to the worlds largest graham cracker, and taken over an erputing volcano located in Hershey Pennsylvenia... Smores anyone?
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Old 05-24-2008, 04:43 PM   #418
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micheal jackson is cloned 500 times. ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-24-2008, 04:45 PM   #419
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Sent every little boy on earth to the moon, away from pedophila laws, so the Michaels would enevitably follow.
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Old 05-25-2008, 01:53 AM   #420
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Unfortunately for Jackson, HAL is the AI on his spaceship and the gloved one is never heard from again.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-25-2008, 01:01 PM   #421
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Too bad a clone is waking up in Neverland...and HAl instantly crashes by the impossibility of cloning..

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Old 05-25-2008, 02:46 PM   #422
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However, the creators of HAL foresaw this problem and HAL was rebooted remotely and it sought out and successfully destroyed all the original Jackson genetic material and eliminated all the clones in their various stages of development, rendering the universe safe for all children (ok, at least the male ones. )


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-25-2008, 03:49 PM   #423
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But a still young crosdressing little boy still caused HAL to crash. The machine's goal and protocols of keeping the universe safe for all little boys was destroyed by this little crosdresser. Since the machine couldn't ID him as either a male or female.

(Dang, you make this hard, Totenkopf )

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Old 05-25-2008, 05:06 PM   #424
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HAL does a self-diagnoistic and in a fit of pique decides to destroy all life on Earth, regardless of species or gender.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-26-2008, 11:56 AM   #425
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But Marvin the depressed android fires the Point of View gun at HAL, causing it to self-destruct itself in pure teen angst.

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Old 05-26-2008, 03:41 PM   #426
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Unfortunately for Marvin, the POV gun has an embedded AI chip that goes berserk and turns itself on Marvin. Bye bye, Marvin.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 05-27-2008, 06:11 AM   #427
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But, in revenge, Ford spanks Hal with his towel and Hal get's knocked down anyways

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Old 05-27-2008, 10:34 AM   #428
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Unfortunately, in his successful attempt to crack Hal with a wet towel, Ford (Fairlane? Prefect? Who exactly?) slides in a puddle of water, loses his balance and cracks open his own skull, his poor pink brains oozing everywhere. Still slightly off kilter, HAL merely looks down and bellows out a deep throaty laugh that shakes its mainframe.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 07-02-2008, 09:21 PM   #429
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The mattress,who marvin once told a speech he said to , picks up the towel and strangles Hal. (Yes a talking matress read the life the universe and everything)

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Old 07-05-2008, 03:10 PM   #430
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However, Adam West started jumping on the mattress.


"My name's not 'Adam We'........or is it????"
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Old 07-06-2008, 07:09 PM   #431
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The odd pair meets Mr. Fire, who promptly engulfs Mr. West and Mrs. Mattress in flames.
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Old 07-11-2008, 12:05 AM   #432
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Unfortunately, this occurred on a water ride and Mr. Fire was promptly extinguished.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 07-12-2008, 07:28 PM   #433
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The water ride ran out into a kiddie pool made mine field, and their charred remains are promptly incinerated.

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Old 07-14-2008, 05:29 PM   #434
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And quickly drowned out by the flood of water from the newly damaged water ride.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 07-14-2008, 07:08 PM   #435
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Which was sucked up by aliens who need water to run their spaceship that looks like a giant can of spam.




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Old 07-15-2008, 02:49 AM   #436
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Which was then promptly transported back into the Monty Python Spam skit and destroyed so as to serve the spam within.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 07-16-2008, 08:33 PM   #437
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The spam, however, was far too clever for that trick and developed an anti-teleportation ray.


"My name's not 'Adam We'........or is it????"
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Old 07-16-2008, 10:18 PM   #438
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Which, due to sloppy engineering, exploded in a power surge, vaporizing the spam.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 07-17-2008, 02:13 PM   #439
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turing the Monty Python skit into "no spam" thus ending the career of the actors in monty python, causing WWIII.




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Old 07-17-2008, 05:39 PM   #440
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Which was quickly negotiated to a peaceful conclusion by the cast who then gained a new purpose in life.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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