Ask A Stupid Question And Get A Stupid Answer

[Darth Avlectus]

Because of your programming, to you that is how we all appear. We're in the foundry now. Your master is next.

Who gives a $*** about bigfoot?

[Totenkopf]

His proctologist, maybe?

What if Red Foreman kicked you and monkeys flew out your butt?

[Darth Avlectus]

Well, butt monkeys fly out of butts. Must have done a sideways heel kick to make me **** my pants while I was drunk and passed out. Cheap shot.

What if Lloyd inadvertently wrecked his taxi limo into your car and left the scene?

[Totenkopf]

He'd be doing it on a stretcher (either for an ambulance or hearse....makes no difference. ).

What if Beavis and Butthead tried to sell combustible lemonaid?

[Darth Avlectus]

I wouldn't know that unless I was buying it in person.


What if Police Gorillas threw molotov cocktails at threads before I could call them?

[Alkonium]

Regardless of what type of thread you mean, that scenario makes no sense.

Would it be pretentious for me to declare myself the Master of Bad Advice?

[Darth Avlectus]

Not necessarily.


Dammit, why can't you people let me make love in a dumpster without having to disturb me over something trivial?

[Alkonium]

Because you can't do it quietly.

Is calling Snooki a Feral Oompa Loompa a fair assessment?

[Darth Avlectus]

HELL NO! Oompas disowned her long ago...that might as well be an insult to Oompa Loompas everywhere! BTW I wouldn't say things like that in the presence of dwarves and other little people, you never know if they're around a corner behind counters and cabinets.


...Where's this somewheresville people keep referring to in Sim City...?

[Totenkopf]

Somewhere, naturally.

What if the world jacks you back?

[Darth Avlectus]

The world jacks anyone and everyone. For any reason, every reason, no reason. At any time. Every time. The question is...


Who jacked the car jack?

[Alkonium]

Some guy named Jack.

Is this an oud?

[Darth Avlectus]

Depends whether you're parking a red corvette in the parking garage between 3:30 AM and 5:30 AM on either a tuesday or a thursday...or you just so happen to have a gray beard in the yellow zone. (Memory of some really absurd "The Far Side" comic...or lack thereof)

Who are all these pricks anyways? Lawyer pricks...rug wearing pricks...I'm surrounded by pricks!

[Totenkopf]

Well, you know the old saying......you're known by the company you keep.

If I ask your uncle, will he really tell me how stupid your mom is?

[Darth Avlectus]

Good luck getting any response, he died of a massive heart attack 11 years ago.
R.I.P.

Why couldn't Zombies Ate My Neighbors have gotten a better sequel?

[Totenkopf]

**** in, **** out. 'nough said.

Will Joe Biden ever NOT be an ass?

[Alkonium]

Of course not, he's a politician.

If there's a fire, who should I email about it?

[Totenkopf]

Just three people.......anybody, everybody and nobody, in no particular order.

Do girls really exist on the internetz?

[Darth Avlectus]

^^^Yes, but we choose not to believe they do...at least without evidence. Most of the time if there are REAL girls on the internet, they likely resemble Jabba the F***ing Hutt.


Did you wake up grumpy?

[Alkonium]

Not really, no.

How many potential murder weapons are present in a standard fast food restaurant?

[Darth Avlectus]

I think a better question to ask is how many potential murder weapons aren't there in a std. fastfood restaurant, to which the answer is few if any. Your question being opposite, answer is opposite.


Does anybody else here have a pair of red "Body Rage" sunglasses from Spencer's? These things kick ass, just make sure you superglue the bolts that hold on the nose cushions becausr the mini-screw has no bolt to hold it in.
Can't seem to find any images of them either.

[Alkonium]

No. I tend to avoid Spencer's.

How is putting dirt in a cup a scientific experiment?

[Darth Avlectus]

Depends if that's it or if there are other steps involved.


YOU JACKASS! What the F$%# did you do this time?!

[Alkonium]

I have no idea.

Does DA have anger management issues?

[Totenkopf]

Nah, he just thinks he's tourettes guy.

Is the Dali Lama a crypto nazi?

[Alkonium]

Probably not. Nazis are rarely that mellow.

Isn't the Dalai Lama also a painting of a Llama done in the style of Salvador Dali?

[Ferc Kast]

Wrong Lama; otherwise, it could have been.


Isn't that the correct answer?

[Totenkopf]

No, this is.

Is EA merely misunderstood?

[Alkonium]

Allow me to answer your question with a question:

Will we ever be able to understand idiots?

[Darth Avlectus]

We already do. Problem is that we just keep trying to comprehend them as being more than what they really are. That and if there wasn't stupid, there'd be no interesting stories to tell.

Is there a numerical difference between a rickroll and a barrel roll?

[Totenkopf]

Probably about as much as a nickleback and a nicklebag.

Can we look later?

[Darth Avlectus]

Only if we can divide by zero.

Does time matter to Emperor Vitiate?

[Totenkopf]

Only if you're wasting his.

Do you want to be a rock'n roll star?

[Ferc Kast]

No, I don't want to be that.


Why do some people think Windows 8 will be another Vista?

[Alkonium]

Because it fits the pattern.

Would giving iPhones a freely accessible file system like Android phones be such a bad idea?

[Darth Avlectus]

Only if it becomes as messy or inconsistent as some androids with certain apps. Otherwise it seems .......okay.

Why did Danny tell you to go to hell?

[Totenkopf]

B/c he thought I was you.

Where in the hell is hell anyway?

[purifier]

Hell if I know.



If someone told you he was a chronic liar, would you believe him?

[Darth Avlectus]

I'd be skeptical either way. Depends what I actually know of him.


If you're here, then who was on the phone?

[Ferc Kast]

My evil twin.


What happens when I divide the space-time continuum by 0?