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Old 03-31-2007, 12:10 AM   #1
Jae Onasi
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Tech Humor

Couldn't resist sharing this here as well as the Tech forum.

Jae + Dave Barry columns = Danger.
Well, dangerous only if you consider getting assaulted by semi-bad humor dangerous.

This tech 'adventure' (to put it nicely) was just too funny not to pass on.
Note from Technical Support Hell

Our (meaning Jimbo and me) tech adventures:

1. Trying to install Windows xp service pack 2 on my laptop.

I carefully downloaded the update and installed it. My computer decided that service pack 2 was Evil and Of the Devil, and would not start at all after that.
I called tech support. I spoke with a very nice man from a country across the ocean. We exchanged pleasantries about how awful it was for him to be working at 3am to help me out of whatever stupid thing I'd done to my computer. After much thought along with numerous questions and instructions without a resolution of the problem, he decided he couldn't understand my English accent, apparently, and referred me to someone who spoke True American.

We were absolutely assured by this new, really-from-Microsoft tech support guy that this 'should be working just fine' and would I please allow him to get on my computer to help me through the problem. Well, since the computer refused to play nice with xp sp2, that helpful (and nosy) thought died a terrible death. After a couple hours of me doing whatever he told me to do short of dancing in a loincloth down Michigan Avenue in Chicago, he finally said 'You know, let me give you the instructions on how to uninstall this.' That solved the problem.

2. Jimbo replacing a DVD drive.

Just remember this, spouses do not let spouses buy computer parts drunk. Or in Jimbo's case, because he was entirely sober, without consulting his Goddess Wife Jae Who Researches Things Prior to Buying Them So We Don't Drive All Over Creation Returning the Wrong Thing.

This adventure started when the DVD drive died while we were playing NWN2. Since Jimbo was close to the end of the game and ready to battle the King of Shadows and General Uber-Badness, this problem went from 'Merely Bad' to 'A Disaster of Epic Proportions'. Thus, we needed a new DVD drive, like, yesterday.

Rather than order the thing on the internet and pay overnight shipping which was still cheaper than Best Buy, he elected to go to Best Buy. After returning about 3 hours later from what is only about a 20 minute drive (one way) with a new DVD drive, a bottle of Diet Pepsi, a large bag of peanut M&Ms and 3 CDs of blues music, he attempted to install the part. And promptly discovered he had gotten the wrong type of DVD drive. So, this time (at his Goddess Wife Jae's suggestion), he actually took the broken one with him so that he would know exactly what to get. This proved to be more successful, and feeling the Call of the King of Shadows, he actually made it back home in 48 minutes.

Our trials were not nearly over. He attempted to replace the DVD drive, only to discover that the new one was taller than the old one by about .065 mm. However, this miniscule amount was sufficient to ensure that the DVD would not sit in that slot. After much thought (and more Diet Pepsi because caffeine always helps when you're working on delicate wiring), he determined that reversing the order of the CD and DVD players would solve the problem. He hooked them up...nothing happened.

At this point I decided to consult the trusty Help Desk called the SWK chatbox. Fortunately, the chat was fairly full of computer savvy people, including stingerhs and Kitty Kitty, who was not inebriated at that point, I am happy to announce. Or unhappy to announce. Kitty and I should go out drinking sometime--but the combination of two supremely happy, howling laughing, soused Kotor forumites would probably be too much for the universe to handle. But I digress. Kitty was more than happy to explain to us the concept of master and slave, and in a complete fit of unrelated nostalgia, since Kitty, Jimbo, and I are all age 29 (multiple times), we all promptly broke into our rendition of the Depeche Mode song "Master and Servant" and so the chat devolved into some singing and a discussion of 80's one-hit wonders for awhile.

After Jimbo reorganized the drives' social structure and made the DVD the master over the CD slave, we thought our troubles were over. Jimbo powered up the computer, only to be met with the message that the computer was not recognizing the hard drive, as if it were North Korea and we had not yet normalized diplomatic relations. I explained the problem to the delightful people in the chat box (you really all do rock!), and Kitty and others talked us through possible solutions, including making sure all connections are tight, the power supply is plugged in, bios settings, power, maybe the HD also died, etc.

Now you should learn a very important and brilliant adage from the medical field: "Common things are common." It is far more likely, nay, even common, that someone did something stupid and earned the consequences, and that it really is something insanely easy to fix, like, for instance, an unplugged wire. You should also learn to listen to your Goddess Wife when she says "Make sure all the connections are tight!!" Then you should remember that wires don't just hang in mid-air in a computer box without some kind of reason.

After this problem frustrated all of us on the chat for another 1/2 hour or more, Jimbo was once more poring over all the switches, the bios, the system drain, and so forth when he suddenly says "Hey, I wonder what this wire is for--it's just kind of hanging here! Wait--it looks like it fits into a slot on the HD!" So approximately an hour after Kitty first suggested he check to make sure all the wires were plugged in tight, it finally was fixed. And the King of Shadows met his untimely death shortly thereafter.

I'd love to hear what other adventures people have had....


From MST3K's spoof of "Hercules Unchained"--heard as Roman medic soldiers carry off an unconscious Greek Hercules on a 1950's Army green canvas stretcher: "Hi, we're IX-I-I. Did somebody dial IX-I-I?"

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Old 03-31-2007, 12:28 AM   #2
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So did Jimbo ever put on anything other than his socks?




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Old 03-31-2007, 12:32 AM   #3
Jae Onasi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rogue Nine
So did Jimbo ever put on anything other than his socks?
I never kiss and tell.


From MST3K's spoof of "Hercules Unchained"--heard as Roman medic soldiers carry off an unconscious Greek Hercules on a 1950's Army green canvas stretcher: "Hi, we're IX-I-I. Did somebody dial IX-I-I?"

Read The Adventures of Jolee Bindo and see the amazing Peep Surgery
Story WIP: The Dragonfighters
My blog: Confessions of a Geeky Mom--Latest post: Security Alerts!
Love Star Trek AND gaming? Check out Lotus Fleet.

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Old 03-31-2007, 06:05 AM   #4
Darth InSidious
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The one thing I hate is the advice when it comes to the dreaded 'R' word.

It's always basically "at this point, make sure you have that backup of everything you ever did on this computer EVER on hand that you did the minute before your computer crashed"...

The advice I always get handed when everything screws up is generally 'reformat [and then eat] your hard drive is the least effort for me, now go away'...



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Old 04-02-2007, 02:30 PM   #5
JediMaster12
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Very funny Jae. I know that problem all too well when my first laptop died on me for no good reason. When I got back from winter break, I had to call the service tech guys and ask how to fix it. I had to reinstall the entire Windows XP system when repairing the suggested files didn't work. It worked out all right in the end because now I got it up and running and it lasted until this past year when it kerplunked on my little bro in the middle of his homework assignment. Lucky me that I had a new one with wireless built in...oooo...and I bailed him out.

In general, the techno savvy people in my house are my brother and me. My dad, after three years or so, finally bought an iPod shuffle and left me with teh task of putting his music on it. Well, I had more experience with the iPod nano since I own one
Without reading the directions, I figured out that the slide in the back was the thing to turn it on and all he had to do was press play. I showed him which were the volume buttons and the like. What does he do? He tries to turn it on without flipping the switch in the back and complained becaue he didn't hear anything. Like other things, I gave up trying to explain but I did hand him the directions for him to read...yeah right. He brings it where someone who had a shuffle (my weekend job) and they explained what I told him earlier. Getting the picture here.
In the end he got it working and was listening to it. All he has to do now is to recharge it when the light goes red. Before he he bought the iPod I tried explaining the benefits of not having to buy batteries when it is charged on the computer. He still debated with me over an MP3 and an iPod. Welcome to my world.

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