The Ruin a Wish Foundation

[Ztalker]

You are, and get stuck in the time stream because you forgot to read the Tardis manual.

I'd wish Ungoro crater wouldn't be packed with lv 70 Alliance idiots to corpse raid me.

[Alkonium]

Granted. All the servers have permanently gone down.

I wish for an Xbox 360.

[Ztalker]

Granted. Red ring of death on start-up.

I'd wish it was Christmas vacation already.

[Bokken]

Granted, but it's Christmas vacation after Christmas. Christmas has been skipped.

I wish that I could clean a squirrel without completely mutilating it.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but noone, not even you knows why you're cleaning squirrels.

I wish people followed my deliberately bad advice.

[Andurilblade]

Granted; your computer accepted it, but it was so bad that it crashed in on itself and turned into a mushroom cloud.

I wish I had Anduril.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but since you're not Aragorn, you can't safely wield it.

I wish I was Aragorn.

[Andurilblade]

Granted, but since Arwen would never fall for a guy wearing an eagle-headed hoodie, she doesn't revive you in TTT and you die on the bank of the Snowbourn.

I wish I could sing as well as Gollum.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but then you realise that he really doesn't sing well at all.

I wish for some chainsaw spear gun-chuks.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but these weapons have just become illegal and the FBI sent you to prison.

I wish I had a huge tank.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but you get run over by an even bigger tank.

I wish for a full size working AT-TE.

[Andurilblade]

Granted, but it steps on you.

I wish I could turn invisible.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but you can't pay the bill and the Government takes everything you have in payment of your debt.

I wish I had a crazy awesome machine gun.

[Andurilblade]

Granted, but because it is crazy, it must be sedated, disassembled, and thrown into the Marianes Trench. And you, BTW, go to jail for being a public menace.

I wish, I wish, I wish I were a fish.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but as a fish, sharks like how you look and eat you.

I wish I could fly.

[Andurilblade]

Granted, but your father happens to be a pharmaceutical genius and cooks up a "cure" for you.

I wish I could pronounce the inscription on the Ring of Power.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but your tongue gets twisted together and you can't speak ever again.

I wish I had Sauron's cool mace.

[Andurilblade]

Granted, but he wants it back.

I wish I had a coat of Mithril.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but it's too small for you and it chokes you to death with it's lack of room.

I wish I had a Nuclear Missile that was on Mars.

[M@RS]

Granted, but you mess up and fire it at your house...

I wish I was the best drummer...

[Rinku]

Granted but then you would have to retire...

I wish I could go to sleep

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but you have a bad sleep and wake up 5 minutes into it.

I wish I could rule my own little country.

[Rinku]

Granted but it would fall into a depression and revolution because it would not a viable nation.

I wish this dragon egg on my sig would hatch.

[Andurilblade]

Granted, but when you try to burp it, it incinerates you.

I wish I could live at Rivendell.

[Rinku]

Granted but then you get a crush on an female elf and since she is immortal you die while she lives on

I wish I could eat some scones.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but the cook of the scones didn't like you and poisened them.

I wish I had a Jetpack.

[Andurilblade]

Granted, but while you're a thousand feet in the air doing your Iron Man thing, a well-placed shot from your arch-enemy's sniper sidekick takes you down.

I wish I had Goblin Jr.'s gauntlets.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but you accidentally kill yourself with them.

I wish for a Greatsword of Westernesse named Aracrist (Sindarin for "Sword of Kings")

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but one day you drop it on your foot, and not only does it sever your foot, the Sindarin come back for vengeance upon you.

I wish I had Desert Eagle Pistol.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but you accidentally blow your own brains out with it.

I wish I had a 1964 Aston Martin DB5.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but one day you crash it when you want to see how it does on jumps.

I wish I had the Bat mobile.

[M@RS]

Granted, but you can't go to sleep because of the **** high-pitched squeaks...

I wish I was a cartoonist...

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but one day you're cartoons come to life want revenge on you because of the way you treated them as cartoons.

I wish I was Boba Fett.

[Alkonium]

Granted, and you get left for dead in a sarlacc.

I wish the song "Thunderball" was about me.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but everyone hates it and sends an angry mob to your house.

I wish I were invincible.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but it makes you complacent.

I wish I had a PhD.

[CommanderQ]

Granted, but the Phd is in horribleness.

I wish I were the smartest man in the world.

[Chevron 7 locke]

Granted. But no one likes you because your smarter then they are

[Alkonium]

I wish everyone spoke a proper language on the internet.

[Chevron 7 locke]

Granted but the laguage has an accent you hate.