The Ruin a Wish Foundation

[Alkonium]

Granted, but it goes down in history as their worst concert ever.

I wish Rush would actually release Clockwork Angels.

[Hallucination]

Granted, but it turns out that, due to it being released on Roadrunner Records, it sounds exactly like a Nickleback album.

I wish Nickleback would stop doing things. I mean all the things they do, they should stop doing, not just music.

[Totenkopf]

Granted, but for that to happen so soon, the world had to blow up and now you're dead too.

I wish Hal had a dollar for everyone who actually believed he was the Baron of Sexy.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted, unfortunately they are dollars of funny money--thus worthless.

I wish all the components for my current projects were within easy reach.

[Totenkopf]

Granted, but they are all junk as well and thus useless to you.

I wish GL would stop trying to be revisionist w/regard to his magnum opus, the OT.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted he is. He also goes so far as to keep the copyright and tears down SW for the rest of us so that nobody can play with it.

I wish I had a toolshed I actually owned outright.

[LDR]

Granted, but it is a toolshed built during the Revolution.

I wish I could go to the Mass Effect 3 Midnight Release.

[Ferc Kast]

Granted, but you fall asleep during the release.

I wish I could wish for a wish of a wish.

[Hallucination]

Granted, but you used all your wishes on wishing you could wish, and all subsequent wishes go unfulfilled. Be direct next time, genies hate it when they have to deal with complex wishes.

I wish there were a mathematical symbol for spoiler alert.

Originally Posted by Totenkopf

Granted, but for that to happen so soon, the world had to blow up and now you're dead too.

Worth it.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted, unfortunately after it is accepted widely as a conventional symbol, it is seen as perverted looking and you get the blame.


I wish I owned a modern industrial cutting laser.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but the first time you use it, you fumble and end up decapitating yourself.

I wish I had a life-size replica of the Normandy.

[Totenkopf]

Granted, but its mass effect core explodes when you try to board it.

I wish I owned the intellectual property rights to every piece of media (written or other) produced by mankind and the means to punish, with impunity, any violation of said rights by anyone/thing.

[Alkonium]

Granted, you've certainly got your work cut out for you.

I wish I could thread a sewing needle.

[Hallucination]

Granted, but people blame you for Twilight, the PT, and a million other subpar works and they boycott all media. Now no one talks to you and art is dead, way to go.

Granted, but the rising cost of textiles (it's a real thing, I'm not making this up) means that you can no longer afford any material to sew.

I wish someone remade the Twilight movies with talking anthropomorphous (in the acting like humans sense, not the furry one) animals.

Originally Posted by Darth Avlectus

Granted, unfortunately after it is accepted widely as a conventional symbol, it is seen as perverted looking and you get the blame.

I don't think I'd have a problem with that, honestly.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted. Unfortunately the people who profit from it the most are people you loathe and resent.

I wish Google and Microsoft would just fall off the edge of relevance in the cyber economic world already.

[Hallucination]

Granted, but now you have to pay for web browsers so you can use directory-style search engines.

I wish the work and school day started at noon.

[purifier]

Granted, but now a lot of things start coming up out of the blue like having to research for several term papers with a short due date or overtime at work, so you end up studying and working until 6 A.M. everyday.





I wish it was 1990 again.

[Alkonium]

Granted. Have fun with Windows 3.0.

I wish my Campus Pub was open on St. Paddy's Day.

[Hallucination]

Granted, but after prompting from MADD they've replaced all alcohol with scented candles. Permanently.

I wish more places sold scented candles.

[Alkonium]

Granted, but you can't light them anywhere due to new fire regulations.

How am I supposed to get drunk off a scented candle?

I wish scented candles had an inebriating effect.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted, unfortunately it is also not much of a candle, but rather amyl nitrate (like this stuff I huffed at a rave once called "Rave"), and needless to say it is extremely flammable and any high you'd get from huffing it is now effectively nullified...unless you opt not to ignite it in which case, unfortunately the buzz doesn't last long at all, per dose. Ultimately you end up with a headache after too many doses too quickly.

Remember kids, huffing kills just as many brain cells in 1 minute as alcohol does all night.
And Jae is probably going to chew me out for promoting it because of the potential eye injuries it may cause from internal pressure.



I wish awesome characters of my imagination could be manifested into real beings.

[purifier]

Granted, unfortunately they all turn around and kick your ass.






I wish D.A. had not unleashed characters of his imagination into the world, because now they're kicking everybody's ass.

[Ferc Kast]

Granted, though now they're in your imagination instead.


I wish that I could have a dreamless sleep again, or at least that my nightmare will finally stop repeating itself.

[Hallucination]

Granted, but it turns out that nightmare was an outlet, and now your waking life has turned into a nightmare.

I wish the SQLite documentation wasn't so oblique.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted, it is now no longer skewed in such a manner...unfortunately the next day the hand of satan strikes and kills SQLite in every sense, and you are stuck with a $86,000 bill for legal hassles somehow.

I wish Richard Cohen of SPLC pissed off the wrong immigrants working for a syndicated business for the drug cartell, and they kidnapped him, took him to Mexico and impaled him with a cactus--and took humiliating video footage.

*Laughs at the poor coroner who has to clean that up*

[Totenkopf]

Granted, but you are part of the humiliating footage and everyone dicovers your secret life as a thai lady boy.

I wish DA was actually Tourettes guy IRL.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted, unfortunately now I never had the thai lady boy secret because a rift in the spacetime continuum happens and it now inflicts all your male offspring, worse off you're the coroner stuck with the mess.

I wish Totenkopf was cast as the awesome dude with the beard in thew movie Out-Cold and the actor on the receiving end of his snowboard boot was that seattle schmuck who crashed his car into my fence.

Show spoiler

BTW who's paying for that fence?!

[Alkonium]

Granted, but noone notices because it's been years since anyone's seen that movie.

I wish for Michael Benyaer and Paul Dobson to do voiceover work on season 3 of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted. Unfortunately natural disasters shake up the world and there is only one hard drive containing all the material of that...the hard drive is plunged into oblivion and destroyed. Worse: you have to buy a replacement hard drive for the producer and the actors won't stand to have a redo.

I wish Body Rage's sunglasses had a more reliable nose cushion design (securing bolt falls out).

[Totenkopf]

They do, but the solution involves grafting them to your face. Careful what you wish for.

I wish the Jaws of Doom would consume itself.

[Darth Avlectus]

Granted, unfortunately it's only a cartoon.

I wish Assy McGee would annihilate General Electric, cuz I want to see a huge mess on top of all the epic blood, gore and mayhem, and get to laugh when Jeffery Immelt, their tax evading CEO bitchboy, gets mowed down by essentially a naked ass.
And if he even thinks about teabaggings in my direction, I got a cactus that says otherwise.

OR

I just wish for Pete Stark to get a foot in his ass, so deep it has to be broken off for the ass kicker to be free.