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Old 08-29-2008, 01:23 AM   #41
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When he talks about his sword? ...

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Old 08-29-2008, 05:55 AM   #42
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I think that maybe he does say it as well, not sure though, and I'm getting better from the glandular fever, I've had it for a while now, new chap out soon though


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Old 08-29-2008, 06:21 AM   #43
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^^^ Good to hear.

Off topic: 14 DAYS!!!!!!!! [[You know what I'm talkin' bout! ]]

DEATH .... MAG ... NETiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiCaaaaaaaa!!!!

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Old 09-09-2008, 12:58 AM   #44
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Well, I finally could be bothered writing another chap, and here it is, prepare for a few shocks
------------------------
Chapter 7 - Visions

Hallucinations, visions, wrong decisions...

Revan stood outside of the enclave, staring at the moon, like him and Bastila used to.
He couldn’t get any sleep, thinking about the next day, Bastila’s funeral. He picked up a pebble and skipped it across the lake, an old past time. He turned around to go back to the enclave, but was stopped by a familiar face.

“Bastila? Is it really you?” There she was, standing in front of Revan. His eyes went watery, as he went to hug her, only for her to disappear. “Where’d you go?” He turned again to see the Dark Jedi he killed, staring him in the eye. Revan reached for his saber, but when he looked up, he was gone. He looked around, no sign of Bastila or the Dark Jedi. “I need some sleep, I’m having these stupid hallucinations again.” Revan thought, and he went back to the enclave, with a big day ahead of him...

***

The funeral started without a hitch. The funeral was held outside, among the mountains to the west of the enclave, Bastila and Revan’s old hang out spot. It was a beautiful day, the sun shining, and just a slight breeze, ideal conditions. Everyone was in a formal suit, a first for Revan, who always wore his robes.
Everyone who was invited turned up, except for Zez-Kai Ell. Revan leaned over to Master Kavar.

“Kavar, where’s Zez-Kai Ell?” Revan asked. But Kavar just gave him a blank stare.

“Revan, Zez-Kai Ell is dead, he died at the hands of Kreia, remember?” Revan was taken aback, “Zez-Kai Ell, dead?” Revan thought to himself. Something fishy was going on. Revan ran through all the memories of him and Zez-Kai Ell talking. He couldn’t be dead, he turned to Kavar again, but he already left. Revan was left to ponder his words by himself. There were so many people there, yet Revan never felt so alone...

The funeral continued on as planned, it got to the part where Revan would read his eulogy. He stood up and walked to the front. A cool Dantooine breeze was in the air, and Revan shuddered.

“I decided to write my eulogy in the form of a poem, as some of you may know, I do like to write poetry in my spare time.” Revan coughed slightly, before continuing.

“When Winter comes
Warm turns to cold
This is where fragile things
Like to unfold

Sculptures are made
Out of ice
People all snug, and warm
In their homes so nice

But when Summer comes
It all must end
Because the ice
It can't defend

You left us in body
But in spirit you remain
And because of your love
Strength, I will gain”

A tear trickled down Revan’s face as he stuttered.

“You brought me happiness
Laughter and love
You were strong yet sensitive
Like an angelic dove

Darkness came
But you remained
You stayed with me
Through torture and greed

If there’s one thing
That should’ve been
Instead of you
It should’ve been me”

Everyone clapped at the poem, and Revan nodded, and managed out a thank you, among his tears.

“A wise man once told me, You never realise how much you really love someone, until they’re gone. And he was spot on. I loved Bastila with all my heart, and now that she’s gone, that’s only been strengthened. I ask none of you to forget her, and to always remember her lovely smile, and the warmth and happiness, she brought to us all. Thank you.” Revan trudged off the stage in tears, his ears filled with sound of applause, the day went off perfectly, and it was all thanks to Revan.

The day ended with a soft, musical number, performed by Bith that Revan had hired. As people were leaving, the padawans at the enclave cleaned up the funeral, removing the chairs and the altar, and anything else they used for it, while Revan sat by the lake. He looked into the water to see Bastila’s face staring back at him, before her face dissipated into the Dark Jedi, and then into nothing.

“Could Zez-Kai Ell really be dead? Was I just imagining him the whole time, when it was really someone else I was talking to?” Revan sat there for a few moments, thinking about what Kavar had told him, before he shifted his mind to Bastila.

“Through black days, through black nights, I know you’ll be with me. When the world has turned its back, when the days have turned pitch black, I know you’ll be with me.” His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of blaster fire from the enclave. Revan picked himself up and sprinted to check out what was going on. There were Sith overrunning the enclave. Padawans fell as the more experienced Sith gunned them down. A little 7 year old was shaking in the corner, as a Sith lifted a blaster to his head.

“ENOUGH!!” Revan yelled, picking up the Sith and flinging him into a wall with the Force. The other Sith realised he was there, and focused their gunfire on him. Revan masterfully dodged and weaved his way through the blaster fire, using the full power of the Force one every Sith he came across, until there were none left. Revan ended up at the front door, on one knee, with his head down and him filling his lungs with air. A soft clapping was heard and Revan looked up, and was immediately in shock of what he saw. The Dark Jedi.

“I, I,” Revan stuttered, lost for words, “I killed you.” The Dark Jedi smirked.

Another wave of Sith came into the enclave, and captured Kavar and any remaining Jedi, and took them hostage.

“You wish you killed me, but it was really a pathetic Sith soldier I stuck there, I knew you’d come for me, and I’d rather he died.” He took a step forward, then another, then another, as Revan kept walking backwards, until he was in the corner.

“Bow down Revan, sell your soul to me!” He ignited his lightsaber and swung, but Revan rolled out of the way.

“I really wish I didn’t leave my saber in my room.” Revan thought to himself. Besides the Force and his razor sharp wits, he was defenceless. He needed to get to his room. He sprinted into the corridor, with the Dark Jedi in pursuit.

“You can’t hide from me Revan, I’ll hunt you down without mercy, I’ll hunt you down all nightmare long.” Once again there were Sith in Revan’s way, but he still destroyed them without breaking a sweat. “Surrender unto me Revan.” His voice echoed down the hall as Revan kept running, he took a left before bumping into some scared padawans.

“You there, you weren’t found?” The padawans shook their heads. “Well run, find a better hiding spot, somewhere in the mountains, they’re coming. GO!!” The padawans did as Revan told them and quickly ran outside. Revan took another left until he found his room.

“Great, the door’s sealed.” Revan focused all his energy and blew the door down. “No time to knock.” He looked around for his saber, but he only saw Bastila, sitting on the bed. She winked at him, and once again vanished, leaving Revan dumbfounded. He took another look around, and found his saber behind the door, he quickly picked it up, ready for action. “It’s show time.”
He cautiously moved out of his room, when a loud whooshing sound filled the halls.

“You’re too late Revan.” The Dark Jedi said, “You’re friends have already been taken off this planet, it’s just you and me, and some of my backup left. You’re outnumbered.”

“So long as Bastila’s spirit is with me, I can’t lose.” Revan lunged in, screaming. “THIS IS FOR BASTILA!!” When the whole room suddenly went black...
-------------------------
HOpe you enjoyed it, remember to reply


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Old 09-10-2008, 10:02 PM   #45
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WHAT THE FECK HAPPENED!!!!???
The room went back? Did he get hit? Did he pass out? Did he trip over a banana peel? Argh!!!
Lol.
Nice work, Bini. I was wondering when a new installment was going to be posted.
I take it you're all well and good now yeah? Damn glandular fever!
Anyways...

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Old 09-11-2008, 03:11 AM   #46
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WHAT THE FECK HAPPENED!!!!???
The room went back? Did he get hit? Did he pass out? Did he trip over a banana peel? Argh!!!
Lol.
Nice work, Bini. I was wondering when a new installment was going to be posted.
I take it you're all well and good now yeah? Damn glandular fever!
Anyways...
I knew that would put people in suspense

Yeah, I'm feeling all better now, it was a nightmare having glandular fever but I'm all good and ready for action
Next installment probably out soon


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Old 09-11-2008, 05:21 AM   #47
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Good stuff. Good stuff.

Oh and .... MONDAY!!!!!
(I am going to SMASH the windows in my house with just how much decibels I'm going to make my stereo pump out. If the neighbours complain ... hell .. they can move ... METALLICA!!!!!!!!)

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Old 09-11-2008, 05:24 AM   #48
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One day to go, one long and harrowing day, It was changed from Sept 15 to Sept 12, it said so on Metallica.com, unless they're lying, meaning that's tomorrow


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Old 09-11-2008, 05:49 AM   #49
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Except for me The ... Stupid *insert various demeaning, insulting and the worst type of expletives here* people who can't get the order out on time makes me Coffin Box not being able to get to me before the 22nd .... NOT HAPPY!!!!

The day was going ... oh so well before I read that e-mail ....

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Old 09-12-2008, 02:36 AM   #50
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Ouch.

So, just a question, what did you think of the poem I wrote? Was it any good?


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Old 09-13-2008, 10:23 PM   #51
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It was touching.
I liked it. It set the mood for a funeral, and it kept the mood throughout. Not something what you would read other than at a funeral, but that's a very good thing. Some things that are made for a funeral, just shouldn't be read at a funeral.
That however, was not one of them. Perfectly suited.

As I said, I liked it.

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Old 09-15-2008, 02:39 AM   #52
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Hooray,
I was thinking I might have stuffed it up a little, but I'm glad I didn't.


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Old 12-13-2008, 05:08 AM   #53
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Sorry I haven't posted a new chap in a looong time, but i was busy with school, exams and work, I finally got one done, here it is

------------------------------
Chapter 8 - Dark and Light

The line between dream and reality, is a thin line to walk...
Revan was running his way through a training exercise, destroying droids and targets as he went along, running through a capital ship, it was a simple exercise, the droids provide little to no excitement, he turned around to see the rubble he left behind, when stupidly enough, he ran into a wall...

“Bastila? Is that you?” Revan was weak, his muscles aching, his eyes dreary. Bastila stood there in front of him, not responding, staring into his eyes, she seemed so far away, and yet was so close. Revan reached out to touch her, but she stopped him.

“Save your energy, you’ll need it” She said, in the softest sound Revan had ever heard.

“I, I can’t live without you.”

“You’ve done well so far, my love.” Revan looked down, at the bright white floor, covering the room, the walls made of some sort of metal, as was the ceiling, “Look up Revan, your enemy is waiting.” He looked up to see the Dark Jedi that attacked him standing in Bastila’s place, he drew his blood red lightsaber and swung viciously at Revan, but Revan managed to do a quick army roll out of the way, grabbing his lightsaber at the same time. Revan flicked the switch, it wouldn’t ignite.

“Missing something?” The Dark Jedi said, holding up the crystal needed to power a lightsaber. Revan quickly grew frustrated and threw himself at the Dark Jedi, like a man possessed. The Dark Jedi lifted up his saber to slice Revan in two, but Revan grabbed it at the hilt, tore it out of his hand and broke it in two.

“You never told me what your name was.” Revan said.

“You can call me Tobruk.” He replied, when a loud explosion knocked both on the ground. “Expect more chaos Revan.” He told him with his last breath.

***
Beeping noises awoke Revan, and he opened his eyes to see a droid leaning over his face. He immediately jumped out of the bed he was in and blew up the droid with the Force, when a woman, dressed like a nurse walked in, and called the janitors to clean up the mess.

“Hello Revan, did you have a good night’s sleep?” She asked, with a big grin on her face.

“Who are you? Where am I? I want answers.”

“I’m a nurse here, you’re in the Coruscant hospital.” She replied nicely. A confused look came across Revan’s face.

“That’s impossible, how did I get here then?” He asked.

“You were brought here from Dantooine, after you copped a vicious blow to the head.”

“But didn’t I get captured by that Dark Jedi?”

“Hmm, you must’ve forgotten everything.” The nurse said,

“Don’t worry, I’ll explain everything” It was Kavar, “Take a seat Revan” Revan sat down, and leaned forward in anxiously.
“After the funeral, Revan, while you were sitting at the pond, a small group of mercenaries attacked the enclave.”
“So they weren’t Sith” Revan thought to himself.
“Afterwards, you started attacking a few of the Jedi, and Istarted chasing you to hold you down, when you got your lightsaber however, things were looking pretty grim. You were wild and out of control, it was like you suddenly got possessed by a demon or something, thankfully one of the other masters managed to knock you unconscious, we brought you here a couple days ago, and you’ve been twisting and turning vigorously in your bed ever since.”

“But, what about the battle I had with the Dark Jedi? What about the training exercise with the droids I did?” Revan asked suspiciously.

“They must’ve been what was causing your vigorous shaking, that Dark Jedi fight you mentioned must’ve been a real bad nightmare, along with seeing Bastila.”
Revan looked at the floor as tears rolled down his face, he looked up and went to say something, but Kavar was gone. The nurse walked in again.

“Excuse me, did you see Kavar leave?” Revan asked her.

“I’m sorry Revan, but Kavar died along with Zez Kai-Ell in the Kreia incident a while ago.” Revan’s jaw dropped.

“What is happening to me?” Revan thought to himself, as he lay back into his bed, and drifted off into a deep slumber...

***

Revan was up bright and early the next day, visiting the people the he had hurt accidently, that were being treated in the very same hospital, apologising to everyone. Multiple times however, the victims of his attack were still in a coma, and Revan promised he’d return.

After he finished all of his apologies, he headed to the nearest passenger ship to Dantooine, and travelled back to the place where everything went wrong.

***

The ship touched down in the airport, and Revan hopped off to be meted by gasps, and blank stares, some of the poorer people even ran in fear. Revan felt alone, and the feeling hurt like a thousand daggers to the spine. But he continued on his way to the enclave.

The centre of the Enclave was reduced to rubble, and Revan stood there, staring at what he had done, when a voice called out from behind, he turned to see one of the newly appointed Jedi Masters, Master Tobruk.

“So you have come back. What is your purpose.” He asked, in a stern voice.

“I’ve come to apologise for the pain have caused, it may not be accepted, but it doesn’t hurt to try.” Master Tobruk smiled, if it wasn’t for you, the Galaxy would be under Sith rule right now, I’m sure many of the Jedi will be forgiving, but beware of the civilians who do not know you, if they attack you, it’s up to you to stop them.” He warned.

“Thanks for the heads up, anything I can do to help rebuild the Enclave?” Revan asked.

“You might wanna clear the Kath Hounds that thought this would be a good time to attack.” Revan nodded, and headed to the plains surrounding the Enclave.

Revan got there, and cleared away few of the Kath Hounds, before a bigger threat emerged. The Kath Hounds were being tamed and trained to attack Revan on site, by a farmer fearing another attack.

“Hold them off, please.” Revan pleaded, “I came here to apologise.”

“Ye ain’t ‘ere ta apologise, ye mongrel, yer ‘ere tyo destroy me crops. Get ‘im boys.” The Kath Hounds attacked Revan, and he was forced to put them down.

“An now yer killin’ me pets, whattaya gat ta say ta thet?”

“You’re the one that made them attack me, I was merely defending myself.” Revan was taken aback by the viciousness of the farmer.

“If ye really ar’ sorry, you’d do sumthin ‘bout me problem. Go out inta the bushes, and bring me back me money from those runts Sandral and Matale, maybe i’ll forgive ye, me money’ll be in a safe, explosion resistant. Go on, git!!” Revan nodded, and headed off to fetch his money.

***

Revan returned to the man’s farm, to find him hiding beneath his bed.

“Tank the force yer ‘ere, dun worry ‘bout me money, jus’ go on and save the enclave, I’m too much of a coward ta do it meself.”

“Do you know what happened?” Revan asked.

“Gots no idea, just know it’s unda attack.” Revan left his money on top of the bed, and headed to the enclave, only to find the outside burning, the fire as hot as the three suns of Tatooine, he could see the fires from miles away. He headed toward it, ready for whatever might be waiting inside...
------------------------------
Confused yet?


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Old 12-13-2008, 07:04 AM   #54
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A little rushed in some places, but I liked it nonetheless.
And yes ... VERY confused

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Old 12-13-2008, 01:17 PM   #55
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Yes, I am very confused. Good chapter though!

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Old 12-13-2008, 11:00 PM   #56
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A little rushed in some places, but I liked it nonetheless.
And yes ... VERY confused
That seems to be my downfall, I rush a bit too much.
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Yes, I am very confused. Good chapter though!
Thank you


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Old 12-14-2008, 01:08 AM   #57
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Impressive...most impressive. I really like all the twists and turns your putting in the story
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Old 12-14-2008, 04:26 AM   #58
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Impressive...most impressive. I really like all the twists and turns your putting in the story
Yay a new reader!

Glad you liked it


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