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Old 10-23-2008, 02:32 PM   #41
Burnseyy
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A big thank you to you all!

A bit of info, here: I've decided to cut the crap. Enough of just throwing down thoughts onto paper, and not paying too much attention to how good the poem is... It's time to challenge myself. No more writing rubbish - now it's time to really try and improve.


The Stigma of the Picture


The abandonment of existence
Truly conforms such a person to fixture;
Amazement at the beauty of the picture,
Watching as raindrops drizzle down a banner
Entitled "Enigma".
This scene surely influences the stigma
To contort the mind into a mixture,
Of doubtful transes and enriched restricters.
Could one insist on becoming a hitcher?
Not I - for the bewilderment of the phrase
"Let's just ditch her"
Honestly and purely touched my soul.

fin


This was influenced by earlier today. I was waiting for the bus to come after college, but I was waiting for something else, too. I felt like something else was coming, but I didn't know what it was. Whilst I waited, I observed my surroundings, after being ditched by my friends, and thought about how waiting really can leave someone back at the drawing board.


New York Snow

Cannon blasts through sight;
Unknown beauties do shine through,
And time does resume.

fin


This is a haiku. I wrote it today in college, and it's about a picture I took in NY that I don't remember taking. It was of snowflakes falling into a puddle, and I thought it was very symbolic of my memories from that time of my life.



:] Now, are they better?


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 10-23-2008, 03:11 PM   #42
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The other ones were very good, but these new ones surpass those by far. Excellent Poetry, keep posting!


you very much
If a tree would fall in the woods.....would the other trees laugh at it?
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Old 10-23-2008, 03:19 PM   #43
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Yeah, I know what's it's like to get ditched. I think that you did well in only a matter of minutes for the first one. I really don't get the second. Is its short length meant to be part of the message?
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Old 10-23-2008, 03:42 PM   #44
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Originally Posted by Darth_Yuthura View Post
Yeah, I know what's it's like to get ditched. I think that you did well in only a matter of minutes for the first one. I really don't get the second. Is its short length meant to be part of the message?
'cannon blasts' are the snowflakes hitting the water, 'through sight' means when i took the photograph without knowing. 'unknown beauties do shine through' means the message i received from it and 'time does resume' mean that after the message, i come back to reality, where I am now.

It's confusing, I know, but that's just because it's a haiku.


Thank you!


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 10-23-2008, 03:59 PM   #45
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Sound good, Burnseyy! Very good!


Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 10-26-2008, 12:34 AM   #46
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Everybody knows what it feels like to be ditched.
Tis not a good feeling.
It described pretty much to the exact point of how it feels and even if a person who has not been ditched - unlikely - came across and read this poem, then they'd definitely get the feeling and know what its like.

The haiku was great. I, myself, don't really like to write them. I can't really, to be honest. I get too impatient because I have it in my head, but I just can't get the exact words down onto the paper.

I live in Australia and never really been anywhere that has snow. [I've been once, but it was fake snow ] So I don't really know what snow falling looks like [in real life that is] but I get the feeling, from reading this, just how it must be.

Wonderful work Burnseyy. As per usual I like it a lot x]

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Old 10-26-2008, 07:17 PM   #47
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Right... I've written less poetry lately, but I've been challenging myself to come up with some GOOD stuff. :] This next poem might confuse some of you... and some of the words are probably spelt wrong (I hate dictionaries), but here you go:

Dream Therapy


-The Manifest Content
Mutterings of energy issues, a dilemma,
Telling words of wisdom to cure the infliction.
Wih untold revelations unravelling into deceptive realisations,
And a solemn nod to emphasise the confirmations.
But caring intentions could insist upon this picture,
Written in black and white, where laid the stigma.
It is due to the lack of embracement and love,
Of the fulfillment of vanity and what "should",
That we are indeed, "so different in such similar ways."

-The Latent Content
Nevertheless, due to certain... research,
It is inevitable to imply that these reasonings are false:
Symbolism infects the mind like a poison in the pulse.
It is competition that is the underlying treason of the care,
And the insufferable reason to attempt to compare.
Perhaps the secret is of lies and personal anxiety,
And the incompetant thoughts of vanity
That coerce one to portray thoughts as negative or wrong?
If not all of the above, then it is in absolution
That amidst all of the evident and crude confusion...
He truly despises the concept of distance,
But also the closeness of similarities in this instance,
That all woes lie in wake of wanting to disappear.

-The Dream Work

To conclude this analysis of the active mind,
That is so astonishingly passive that it was difficult to find
The answer...
I present that the minds of the sober, the drunk and the lonely
Will always think in such absurd approaches
Simply due to the fact that they are not drunk, sober
Or loved.

It is what one admires that one is not.

Okay, and now the explanation lol. The manifest content (in psychology - psychodynamics) is a level in dreams. It basically means what picture you see in the dream, what is actually happening... The "description" if you will. Without analysis.

The latent content is what those descriptions mean. So, now, we do analyse. And more often than not, the meaning is the complete opposite to the actual image.

the dream work is how these two come together and make sense for the dreamer, or the client receiving dream therapy.
Sooo... the meaning behind the poem? It's how lots of secrets and bad feelings got out into the air yesterday when my friends and I were drunk.

That's only one poem for today. sorry!


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 10-26-2008, 07:24 PM   #48
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Not bad at all Burnseyy! I have only read a couple of your poems and I don't think that they are bad. Very nice job!

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Old 10-26-2008, 09:00 PM   #49
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So, what does a dream mean when you're running from a large pair of scissors that are dressed ghetto style but have tiny little arms that carry drum sticks?

It was a very well written poem! I managed to stick with it for most of the way. However, some parts dislodged my understanding a little. Which is good, lol.

Damn drunkenness! Brings out everything it does!!!!

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Old 11-02-2008, 02:50 PM   #50
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Thanks all, again.
The compliments are wonderful.


Euphoric Dreams

My dreams are running from me,
Escapading out before my eyes—
And then they consume reality,
Severing between it and I, all ties.

This euphoria has never been so despised.

fin

This is about being in a dream like state.


The Insomniac


Lying awake
With a subtle dream
On the verge of chaos;
Of regressing to the past.
Of knowing... Life is living too fast.

An overwhelming rhythm
Of warmth attacks the heart.
Waiting for the heat to depart
From reality...
and live the conspiracy.

Vicious scratches on the wall
And crying floating through the hall.
Enter the realm of the insomniac---
Drink up. Enjoy.
Never dismiss thoughts they employ.

fin

The... title says it all, really.


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 11-02-2008, 07:33 PM   #51
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Insomnia is a pain.
Too many nights having lain awake not being able to sleep. Annoying!

Described the effects and symptoms of being an Insomniac pretty much perfectly in my opinion.

What made you write about the dream like state, if you don't mind me asking?

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Old 11-02-2008, 07:41 PM   #52
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I can relate to both. I have issues with living in a fantasy that becomes my actual life when I leave that life hollow to everything of meaning. I'm sure that this is not what you meant by what you wrote, but that's what came to my mind as I read the words.

Your insomnia poem had an odd quality to it... I could have written something on par with it, but would essentially mimic your work. This is impressive for an original work about a very broad subject. I especially liked 'of knowing life is living too fast.'
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Old 11-03-2008, 02:34 PM   #53
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@BFA: The dream like state is pretty self explanitory lol it's about sometimes not knowing the difference between dreams and reality. Getting mixed up with what's happened, what's not and wanting things that aren't real to be real. And things that are real not to be. :]

@DY: It's a broad subject, but it's from my perspective... so it's not so broad in that respect

Thank you!


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 11-03-2008, 02:49 PM   #54
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@BFA: The dream like state is pretty self explanitory lol it's about sometimes not knowing the difference between dreams and reality. Getting mixed up with what's happened, what's not and wanting things that aren't real to be real. And things that are real not to be. :]
I don't know if this is what you were trying to express, but I think this is little more than obsession. I know what is real and what isn't, but that doesn't mean I even believe myself to be what I imagine or dream about. The idea of believing the dream is real involves taking real stimuli from reality and interpreting it differently than you normally would. This poem is more like letting a fantasy life become more important than the real life.

Getting things mixed up would require extreme measures, otherwise, it's just obsession or delusion. I could be wrong though.
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Old 11-03-2008, 04:07 PM   #55
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The Dream Sequence was excellent, you really conveyed that aspect in my opinion, keep posting!


you very much
If a tree would fall in the woods.....would the other trees laugh at it?
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:33 PM   #56
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Originally Posted by Darth_Yuthura View Post
I don't know if this is what you were trying to express, but I think this is little more than obsession. I know what is real and what isn't, but that doesn't mean I even believe myself to be what I imagine or dream about. The idea of believing the dream is real involves taking real stimuli from reality and interpreting it differently than you normally would. This poem is more like letting a fantasy life become more important than the real life.

Getting things mixed up would require extreme measures, otherwise, it's just obsession or delusion. I could be wrong though.

It's like... frequent deja vu. I guess. It's not saying 'yeah I want dreams to be reality' it's not being able to help it.
Dream like state.


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 11-04-2008, 09:40 PM   #57
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If my dreams were a reality.
It would be pretty cool. And yet, horribly disturbing at the same time.
I'm fine with reality though. Experiences, as it is said, define who we are - be they good or bad.


I get what you mean now. I was a little confused before, but I had just woken up and not had my Red Bull yet

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Old 11-05-2008, 09:40 PM   #58
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Very nice poetry Burnseyy!

I think studying psychology has had a good impact on your poems. I am rather a fan of the whole dream melding with reality theme.

Euphoric Dreams said ALOT for being so short.

You get a dancing elephant and a gift (Totally random, I know. )

@BFA: Red Bull, where would we be without it?

~HOP



Viva La Resistance!
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Old 11-06-2008, 02:18 PM   #59
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If I had to choose what my heaven would be made out of, it would be Red Bull. no doubt about it!
It's weird how knowing small things help poetry along the way, even if they have no relevence to poetry.... in reference to what ya' said HOP.
ps. I appreciate the elephant & the gift


Only one this time:


Silk


Silk dances
In graceful waves,
Rippling, glistening
Through the night's haze.
A warmth that the cold brings;
A smile that misery employs.
And the delicately overwhelming elation
Destroys nostaligas regression.

fin


This is about a dream I had, and a sensation that's difficult to explain.

:]


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 11-06-2008, 02:37 PM   #60
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Catchy.

Must have been quite a dream :P

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Old 11-06-2008, 03:44 PM   #61
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Amazing work, Burnseyy, I think I might know how that dream might've felt.


you very much
If a tree would fall in the woods.....would the other trees laugh at it?
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Old 08-13-2009, 03:49 PM   #62
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A/N: oh yeah, my poetry's back too

____


Give

Give me false hope,
Give me a flutter of the stomach,
Give me jealousy, hatred,
Give me a smile, a laugh, a giggle,
Give me a wink,
Give me a thing to remember you by,
Give me your history, your emotions, your problems, a reason to be insecure, a reason to cry yourself to sleep on the floor,
Give me a hand shake, a high five, a stroke of the hand,
Give me three words I want to hear, then three words I can't stand,
Give me poor health and delusions,
Give me nerves,
Give me a reason to breach my comfort zone,
Give me secrets that hit close to home,
Give me love, attraction, friendship, faith,
Give me hate, fear, confusion, make me feel unsafe,
Give me a reason to write a poem,
Give me a reason to cry,
Give me a reason to lose my head,

When you've been this mislead
You know it was right.

fin


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 08-14-2009, 04:41 AM   #63
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I likes
The repeated use of the words 'give me' didn't bore and annoy me as I read it and I ALWAYS take that as a good sign :P

And in saying that, a response to everything you just said in that poem: Give me more poems!!!!!! Arr har har!!!

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Old 08-15-2009, 11:18 AM   #64
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Thanks for the feedback

These Eyes

These eyes are heavy,
Wry of "love" and "life".
They are hopeless, vacant,
Their search for peace
Has slowed, stopped, abrupt--
They saw everything move
So very fast,
They sung with hope
Trusting the high would last.
But now, behind these orbs
Lies an empty shell:
Never waiting, never going,
Never expecting, never showing...
These eyes are teary,
Which is a conclusion, not understood,
For the reasons lie behind
An impenetrable wall
And from this day forth
She will never let it fall
Again.

fin


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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