lfnetwork.com mark read register faq members calendar

Thread: The Great Khan of Space
Thread Tools Display Modes
Post a new thread. Add a reply to this thread. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Old 09-25-2013, 10:37 AM   #1
Yukub
Rookie
 
Yukub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 32
The Great Khan of Space

Prologue: Part 1

Tobei Khan sat upon his throne. It was magnificent yet simple. It was carved out of wood, showing huge riders on endless steppes and decorated images of his forefathers. On his head was a helmet, decorated with the bones of animals and the finest gold. Down at his feet stood his wife and concubines.

Yet the Khan was not happy.

Because a emissary had just brought him news.
The Emperor of the Khanazinidadids had deemed it wise to execute the representatives of the Khan. He had send them to secure trading agreements with the Emperor, but now the Khan only wanted blood. This insult cannot be ignored.

He had ordered for his sons, since he was of great age, and he was worried he might not live to see the invasion of the Khanazinidadids. He did not want his great empire to be lost because of his succession.

His sons came to him: Khagitei, Tobidei, and Artiui. But Yanic, his eldest son did not come to his father.

''Where is Yanic?'' The Khan asked?
''We do not know, father.'' His sons told him. ''Some say he defies you, the great Khan, because he fears he will not be elected.''

''But surely he knows better?''
''I will not accept Yanic as Khan!'' Khagitei yelled. ''I will kill him for it!''
''Silence, Khagitei.'' The Khan said.

The Khan thought and doubted. Should he make Yanic his succesor, Khagitei would rise up in rebellion. Yanic would not accept Khagitei as Khan. Artiui was too young, so only Tobidei remained as choice.

Tobidei was loyal and rather quiet, unlike his elder brothers. He had been a commander in the wars of the Khan and performed with great skill. He would be a suitable successor to the empire of the Khan.

''I plan to invade the domain of the Khanazinidadids. They have acted in dishonor.'' The Khan spoke. ''We shall avenge this insult in blood.''
''Now, send word that Yanic is to be captured and brought before me. He has invoked my wrath.''

''The Khanazinidadids and the traitor Yanic will kneel before the Khan!'' Said his sons.

The Great Khan was slightly happier.



Prologue: Part 2



When a foreign emissary visited the court of the Khan, it was difficult to tell who was was most influential with the Khan. Under his throne stood his generals and administrators, and also his wife.

Khatun Öeyabuei was not very tall. Her legs were rather short, her arms a little too long. Yet it was clear that she was once beautiful. She had an attractive face, worn out, but still pretty. Her hair was black and long, easily reaching her navel. The many childbirths had diminished her beauty, but had not completely destroyed it.

She was mother of all of the Khan's children, as he preferred to have one wife instead of many concubines. He only slept with other women when his wife was ill. The Khan respected women, even having (though few) female counselors.

But he denied women to join the Army, as he found this was business restricted to men. Even so, his army numbered millions if not billions of men. He had conquered a large part of Deep Space and usurped once-great empires into his dominion. Those who would not bow to him would be utterly destroyed.

Khatun Öeyabuei was possibly the one who had the most influence on the Khan, but there were competitors. Mönke Tipur, a conquered vassal of the Khan, had successfully influenced the Khan to name him Viceroy of a sizable portion of the empire, including the wealthiest of planets. The court had a constant war raging, with the Khatun versus the Viceroy, and everyone who was trying to feed their ambition.

Suddenly, a messenger burst into the room.

''My Khan!'' He exclaimed, breathless. ''Great news!''
''Speak, servant!'' The Khan demanded.
''Your treacherous son, Yanic, has died!'' He said. ''Your Grandson, Torda, swears fealty to you!''

The Khan remained silent for a moment. He was relieved and sad at the same time. His eldest son was dead, but this also removed the need of his subjugation. This would allow for a quicker invasion of the Khanazinidadids.

''Grief and Party.'' The Khan said. He left the room, for the comfort of his bed.

Yukub has requested a fanfic review for this thread.

Last edited by Yukub; 09-27-2013 at 11:23 AM.
Yukub is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-26-2013, 09:23 PM   #2
MsFicwriter
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 430
Current Game: Arcanum
Roleplayer 
Wow. I thought that no one was better at coming up with exotic character names than I, (egotistical LOL), but you blew me out of the water! I can't wait to see what happens next. Note: For a first chapter or even a prologue, this is extremely short. MOAR PLZ!!!
MsFicwriter is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-27-2013, 11:15 AM   #3
Yukub
Rookie
 
Yukub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 32
Merged with the first post. Longer Prologue. Let me know what you think!
Also, thanks for the kind words, MsFicWriter!

Last edited by Yukub; 09-27-2013 at 11:23 AM.
Yukub is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-28-2013, 03:34 PM   #4
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,847
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Read


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Post a new thread. Add a reply to this thread. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Go Back   LucasForums > Network > Knights of the Old Republic > Community > Coruscant Entertainment Centre > The Great Khan of Space

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:31 PM.

LFNetwork, LLC ©2002-2011 - All rights reserved.
Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.